


Earth Is But an Idea

by Caladenia



Category: Star Trek: Voyager, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Crossing Timelines, Crossover, Drama, Episode: s05e01 Night, Episode: s07e16 Death Knell, F/M, Multiverse, Sciencing (lots of), Technobabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2019-10-20 05:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 43,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17616116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caladenia/pseuds/Caladenia
Summary: Wrong timeline, wrong universe.If there is one law common to all worlds that ever existed, it is that the multiverse is indifferent to puny humans who cross boundaries never meant to be transgressed.Kathryn Janeway learns that lesson the hard way when she finds herself centuries in the past in a world with stargates and no way back toVoyager. Sam Carter is there to help, and together they will try to save two universes from colliding. Along the way, there will be sacrifices to be made and insights to follow.NOW COMPLETEOpens two weeks after the episode Night (Star Trek Voyager s5e1) and just before the end of Death Knell (Stargate SG-1 s7e16).





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [devovere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/devovere/gifts), [ariella884](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariella884/gifts).



> This story would never had seen the light without the support of ariella884. Despite her very busy RL, she kept me from going off track about SG-1 characterisation and details. We also brainstormed quite a few ideas on how to make the crossover work better.  
> I did tell her in the very early stage: _I don't think it will be very long, less than 5k words probably_. And she trusted me! 
> 
> Devovere was my guinea pig as she has not seen SG-1 (yes, I know, she can be such a disappointment at times). She also ploughed through (a couple only, I swear) plot holes, dug up the odd syntax and weeded the strangely spelled words with her two bare hands.  
> I don’t think she wants to see another crossover for some time. 
> 
> And if you don't think that the characters from these two universes would not have a ball together, check The Goofball's [gifs](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18373139)
> 
> Finally, I would like to dedicate this story to my daughter with whom I spent many evenings watching Star Trek and Stargate SG-1 repeats on TV. She liked Sam and who can blame her? She’s since upgraded to much more intellectual and serious shows.  
> I haven’t.

* * *

** Prologue  
**

 

His knuckles white from grasping the pommel of his cane too tightly, Jacob Carter knocked on the open door of General Hammond’s office, taking some weight off his injured leg. “Any news on Sam?” he asked.

George Hammond lifted his eyes from yet another report on the disaster that had befallen the Alpha site. Carter was a soldier, like his daughter. He was not after platitudes. “Not yet, but we have an unmanned aerial vehicle airborne and all available Stargate teams are searching. I don't know anyone tougher or more resourceful. She'll find a way out of this.”

He couldn’t imagine his top team, SG-1, without Major Samantha Carter.

**###**

“Ensign, what’s the status on those readings?”

“There’s evidence of dilithium on the surface, Captain, but I can’t get a proper lock on the source.”

“We can’t afford to be choosy. Give me the latest coordinates you’ve got. I’ll land the shuttle as close as possible.”

“Captain, the sensors indicate a solar flare on an intersection course.”

“Compensate, factor two zero—"

“Unable to compensate. Gravimetric distortion straight ahead! We’re—”

“Brace yourselves!”

**###**

The view on the bridge screen regained its coherence, and Chakotay shook the remains of a splitting headache away.

“Analysis, Ensign Kim.”

“The sensors picked up a chroniton wave coming from the third planet of the system closest to us, Commander. It was already destabilising by the time it reached the ship. The internal computer clock confirms we haven't been affected by the temporal shift.”

“Continue to monitor, Ensign. Tuvok, check with the away teams.”

~ _Engineering to bridge_ ~

“Go ahead, B’Elanna.”

~ _We are having problems with the warp engine field, Chakotay. It’s_ _fluctuating_.~

“Do what you can but don’t shut it down. I don’t want us to be stuck here if the phenomenon repeats itself.”

~ _Understood, Torres out.~_

“Commander, the away teams surveying the neighbouring systems have reported back. No damage sustained. However, the shuttle bound for the third planet is not responding to my hails,” Tuvok said.

Chakotay leaned forward. “Who was on board?”

“Crewman Jonys, Ensigns Anderson and Dorado,” Tuvok answered, “and the Captain.”

Chakotay’s hands tightened on the arms of his command chair. “Any distress calls?”

“None, Commander.”

“Harry, scan for the shuttle warp signature. Tuvok, recall the other away teams.”

“Long range sensors are detecting no trace of the shuttle,” Harry Kim said in a despondent voice. “It’s like it just vanished.”

“Tom, bring us in orbit over the third planet. Impulse only. Harry, scan for human life signs. The crew might have transported directly to the surface.”

After two months spent in the void and unable to resupply, Voyager needed all the raw dilithium they could find, but not at the cost of losing three crew members and the ship's captain.

Chakotay fell back in his seat.

_I did not risk a court-martial to stop your suicidal plan to save the ship a mere two weeks ago for you to die on me during a routine survey mission._

_Where are you, Kathryn?_

_Where are you?_

 


	2. Death Knell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _  
> **Previously in the Prologue:**  
>  _   
>  _Sam Carter from Stargate Command was reported missing following an attack on the Alpha site. Meanwhile, in the Delta quadrant, a temporal wave originating from an uninhabited planet reached the starship Voyager with no immediate consequences. The crew soon learned, however, that Kathryn Janeway and three crew members disappeared while surveying the very same planet._

* * *

 

**Death Knell**

Janeway fired at the figure who strode towards the rest of the away team taking cover behind the tree line. When their attacker turned towards her, she huddled behind the meagre protection of a tree trunk . Wood exploded in her face, shards cutting through the air. She wiped her cheek, and her hand came up bloody.

The three other members of the away team fired in turn, drawing the attacker’s attention back to them. Janeway took a deep breath and stepped out again, weapon steady in both hands. The man, all carapaced in black, fell on his knees under the combined onslaught of the four phasers, energy flowing around his armour.

To Janeway’s dismay, the phasers sputtered one after the other, and the man rose back on his feet as if they’d been throwing one of Neelix’s soups at him. Like revenge personified, he methodically swept the trees with his wrist weapon.

This was no man, Kathryn Janeway decided as she hurried towards the shuttle. Its movements were fluid as if it was alive, but its intent was inflexible, mechanical, ruthless. This was a war machine, and _he_ became _it_ in her mind. Not a Borg drone as far as she could tell, but close enough to be shown no mercy in return.

While running, she tapped on her combadge. Once again, only silence responded. The ship could be under attack from the same army this thing was coming from, and here she was, stuck on this forsaken planet and chased by a maniac automaton.

She should have stayed on board _Voyager_ as Chakotay had urged her to do. After wallowing in the depth of her personal darkness during the two months the ship had spent in the starless night, she’d ignored his advice once again and instead had spearheaded the search for much-needed dilithium. The crew deserved better than a captain feeling sorry for herself and abandoning them in the process. She had sought to regain their trust by doing whatever was necessary to get the ship back to its course to the Alpha quadrant.

The signal on the shuttle sensors had been brief, there and gone in a flash. Nonetheless, she had ordered a course direction to check the uninhabited planet. She’d been eager to hunt down any prospects of dilithium before re-joining the ship, but had not anticipated she’ll be instead fighting a new and seemingly indestructible threat.

A few metres from her, Crewman Jonys collapsed without making a sound, a hole the size of a fist right where his heart should be. Janeway fell on her knees and put her hand on his burning chest. His eyes wide open merely told her what she already knew: that another of her crew was dead on another alien planet. Bile came to her mouth at the ceaseless waste.

Why they were being attacked, she didn’t know, didn’t care, but if she didn’t do something, the entire away team would soon be wiped out. She pushed herself upright and focused her tactical mind on how to defeat the creature set on their destruction. It was slow to react to new threats but relentless once set onto a target. If she could distract it for long enough, the two surviving ensigns would have a chance to make it to the small spacecraft leaning askew a mere fifty metres away.

“Stop shooting,” she shouted. “Board the shuttle, I’ll cover you.”

Not waiting for an answer, she ran in a zigzag pattern into the open and fired in long bursts at the back of the drone. From the corner of her eye, she saw the ensigns sprint towards the shuttle while the drone unhurriedly turned towards her as she had hoped it would do. Heart racing, she fired again to keep its attention on her before dropping behind a large rock, the phaser surprisingly hot in her hand.

A volley of shots startled her. The ensigns had reached the cargo bay door and had resumed shooting to provide her with cover in return. She jumped from the protection of the boulder, hoarse from shouting.

**###**

Sam Carter stumbled across the remains of the unmanned aerial vehicle among a pile of rocks. She was down to her last reserves of energy, exhausted by the relentless chase since she’d fled the Alpha site hours before, pursued by the supersoldier. The UAV meant that people from SGC would be coming to her rescue, but when they would show up was another matter. She could not afford to let the upgraded power unit she was carrying, the only weapon capable of killing drones, fall in the hands of their Goa'uld master.

The sound of weapon discharge rung clear in the late afternoon sky, and she hurried towards a large open clearing, keeping her head low and pulling the remains of the UAV behind her.

Her fear that her father was involved in the fight she was witnessing evaporated. Jacob was nowhere to be seen, and she hoped he was safe. She had no idea who the two women were, the bright yellow of their uniform shoulders standing out against the open door of a small spacecraft she didn't recognise. She knew all about the Tok'ra and Goa'uld ships, but this model was completely new to her.

The women were using strange energy weapons against the supersoldier with some small effect, but nowhere enough to stop it. A strangled yell sounded from her left. Energy sparkled on the back of the drone, but she could not see who was shooting from that new direction. Those three people had kept the supersoldier away from her when she most needed the respite. Three people doomed to die if she couldn’t destroy it.

She turned the UAV on its back, opened the hatch underneath the small rocket attached to the wing and started to re-route the connections to trigger the missile manually. Keeping an eye on the newcomers, she wished she could join them in the one-sided battle. She had no other means of defeating the drone but for what had fallen from the sky.

Its arm raised to the horizontal, its fist facing downwards, the supersoldier overwhelmed the women’s shelter with deadly fire, ignoring the desperate attack coming from behind him. Their small arms hissed, then faltered. Carter flinched as one woman fell backwards under the relentless barrage, arms flung in the air. Her teammate turned, mouth open, but Carter didn’t hear her scream over the unrelenting sound of the drone’s weapon. Her body slid against the bulkhead, smoke floating upwards.

Sam forced her hands to stop shaking. These people had died for her. They had blundered into a fight that was not theirs and had helped her even if they could not know she was the supersoldier's target.

She lifted the wing and balanced the makeshift missile launcher onto rocks. She would have only one shot at the drone. If it didn't work, she had no plan B. Maybe this was the day she would have to give up saving the universe from the Goa'uld.

Her eyes blinked back sweat. When she peered down to align the weapon, the situation had changed once more. The supersoldier had turned around and was now striding towards the sole survivor who stood her ground. Her left arm hung loosely at her side, right arm firing at the drone’s head, causing it to miss. Carter caught a flash of red through the dust raised by the enemy’s energy beams hitting the ground around its intended victim. The supersoldier had only to walk twenty metres at most to finish its doomed assailant at point blank range.

Sam brought the two electric wires together. The blast shook the ground underneath the drone, and yellow swirls of fire rose into the air. When Carter looked up again, there was no trace of the supersoldier.

**###**

The world spun around Janeway, her ears ringing from the explosion. The planet eventually steadied, and she got up on shaky legs, choking on the dust hovering in the air.

Gravel and dirt settled into new mounds where her attacker had stood a few minutes before. The smell of burnt flesh reached her, coming from Anderson and Dorado’s bodies contorted in painful death throws just outside the cargo bay. As she walked towards the shuttle, she put the hand holding her phaser to her mouth, repressing a dry heave. The drone might have been pulverised into harmless atoms, but she had not been able to save her team.

The shuttle had taken numerous hits, on top of the damage it had suffered during its abrupt touchdown. She doubted it was in good enough condition to fly back to _Voyager_ , three dead crew members in its hold and no dilithium to show for their courage and sacrifice.

“Hey.”

Janeway turned on her heels, weapon at the ready. A woman looking the worse for wear stood a few metres away, lifting empty hands in the air. A bloodied bandage was tied high around the left thigh and nasty gashes marred her face.

“Who are you?” Janeway asked, not prepared to lower her phaser. Something had gone very wrong to find herself on a supposedly unoccupied planet of the Delta quadrant, talking to somebody who looked very much like a human.

A small ripple of gravel travelled across the ground behind the newcomer.

“I am Major Samantha Carter. That supersoldier you’d been fighting was hunting me,” the young woman answered. Or maybe not that much younger than herself, behind the tousled dirty blonde hair and the dog-tired blue eyes.

Carter pointed at Janeway’s left shoulder which was throbbing like a warp core out of phase. “You’re hurt.”

“I’m fine,” Janeway answered wearily, triggering a raised eyebrow from the woman. “Why was that thing after you?”

Her hand supporting her injured leg, Carter lowered herself onto the gravel slope. “Long story. Look, I’m really sorry I couldn’t act sooner. I could only get one shot at it.”

Janeway relaxed her stance and lowered her weapon. She could hear the sincerity and exhaustion in Carter's voice. The woman had obviously been through a long and difficult ordeal, but she had defeated what had resisted the frontal assault of four phasers on maximum setting.

“You did a better job killing it than we managed. How did you do it?” she asked. If more supersoldiers and their ships lurked around, she needed to know how to fight them for _Voyager_ ’s sake.

Her question was rewarded with a shy smile, and Janeway’s misgivings eased a little more. “A bit of bricolage, but it work—"

The entity which had slaughtered three of her own rose from the ground, gravel and dirt sliding down its dull armour like water.

“Get down,” Janeway shouted as she brought her weapon up. Carter’s face crumpled in disbelief and dread, her nemesis coming back to life and taking aim at her.

If phasers and a blast had not destroyed the drone, Janeway knew she wouldn’t succeed, but she was not going to stop trying. There were things in this universe that did not deserve to live. Her weapon flickered on and off, the red-hot handle burning the palm of her hand. The drone ignored her, its focus solely on Carter.

A short burst hit the supersoldier from the side, making it stagger. Glancing at the source of the shots, Janeway saw a large man standing across the open ground and holding a weapon she didn’t recognise. He handled the device with ease as if he could do it all day long. Thankful for the reprieve, Janeway leapt behind a nearby boulder, her injured shoulder slamming against the rock.

She took another pot shot while Carter skidded to safety behind a pile of rocks a few metres away. A second man, tall and grizzled, appeared at the woman’s side from nowhere. Carter handed the man a small object that he immediately fitted to his weapon. He fired twice.

The supersoldier fell and stayed down this time even when the large man with gold on his forehead approached and put a foot on its chest.

Janeway let herself slide down the face of the boulder. Carter leaned against the tall man who put his arm around her, a simple gesture that made Janeway’s heart miss a beat. She averted her gaze, glancing at the shattered combadge still attached to a torn piece of her uniform. Waves of pain spreading from her shoulder were making her feel light-headed.

She looked up as a shadow loomed above her. Samantha was standing over her, her eyes only showing concern. “Are you okay?”

Janeway nodded and stood on unsteady legs, jarring her shoulder once more in the process.

Carter turned towards the large muscular man. “This is Teal'c. He is a Jaffa.” The man with the gold tattoo tilted his head without saying a word, an enigmatic smile on his lips. Maybe a Vulcan offshoot, Janeway thought irrelevantly as her eyesight narrowed.

“And Colonel Jack O'Neill,” Carter added.

“And you are?” the tall man asked, his face sombre. His weapon was facing the ground but Janeway knew it would not take him more than half a second to bring its muzzle in line with her chest if he deemed her a danger to his team.

Something was wrong. Very wrong. There couldn’t be any Jacks or Samanthas on this planet thousands of light-years from Earth. And yet, she could understand them without the help of the universal translator.

“I am Captain Kathryn Janeway.” Caution whispered in her ear not to append _‘of the Federation Starship Voyager’_.

She pushed aside the mystery that was the three people standing in front of her. She needed to go back to her ship, alert the crew to the threat of men in dark armour coming back from the dead. There was so much to do, sensors to recalibrate, maps to check, dilithium to find, always on the move, always looking for a way home.

The scorching phaser slid off her fingers and made a faint noise as it struck the ground.

_Because home is not here. It can’t be._

All went dark.

 


	3. Cheyenne Mountain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Previously:**  
>  _Having crashed on an uninhabited planet, Voyager’s away team faced an indestructible enemy which killed three of them, leaving a seriously injured Janeway the only survivor. Pursued by the supersoldier, Sam Carter stumbled across the firefight and saved Janeway's life by using the UAV missile against the drone, but her attempt failed despite Janeway's help._  
>  The timely arrival of Jack O’Neill and Teal’c saved the day. Confused and wary about where these people came from, Kathryn Janeway only divulged her name and rank before losing consciousness.

* * *

**Cheyenne Mountain**

****** **

Sam lifted herself over the edge of the infirmary bed and carefully slid the loose-fitting uniform pants over her injured leg. Janet had just given her permission to leave the infirmary after checking her handy work. Twenty-six stitches must have been some sort of record, even for the SG-1 team.

Balancing on her good leg, she tightened the belt. Another stint in the Stargate Command infirmary, one of too many, but it felt good to be back at the base, safe and in one piece. She did not want to linger over what would have happened to her if it had not been for Teal’c and the colonel. She'd been so close to giving up the fight, waiting for her fate at the hands of a ruthless supersoldier rising from the earth.

“Hi, Carter. Want a lift home?”

She startled, staring into smiling dark eyes. O’Neill stood in his civvies at the end of her bed.

Home? Home was a cold and empty house. Pete had returned to Denver and wasn’t due back for another fortnight. She should have phoned him—he was her boyfriend after all—but he wouldn’t like to hear she’d been injured. As much as he said he understood the importance of what she was doing, she could not help thinking that sooner or later, her work at the SGC would come between them. Their relationship was too new, too raw. Too fragile. Or maybe it was just her.

She pushed the thought away.

“I need to go back to the planet, sir. That spacecraft is nothing I’ve seen before.”

O’Neill shook his head. “The Alpha site is being evacuated. No in-going for a while until we are sure Anubis isn’t coming back to check on his missing drone.”

“But, sir—”

“No but. Hammond is recalling all the SG teams currently off Earth and has ordered two days leave for all frontline personnel. Teal’c has already gone back to Hak'tyl to see his girlfriend, and Daniel has left with Jacob. They are hoping to talk the Tok’ra into coming back to the table.”

Carter nodded. Her father had come and seen her in the afternoon. He’d told her of the collapse of the alliance between Tok'ra, Jaffa and the Tau’ri, as they called Earth people, while she’d been playing hide and seek with the supersoldier for most of the day. She had not had the time to think of the ramifications of that disaster for Earth’s defence against their common enemy.

“At least I should have a look at the weapon Captain Janeway was using. It emits some sort of energy beam, but different from the Goa'uld zat guns we use.”

O’Neill’s fingers drummed on the bed foot panel. “Carter."

She ignored the rising frustration she could hear in his voice, reached for her jacket instead and put it on. The infirmary was always too cold. “If I can duplicate the technology, we wouldn’t have to rely on stealing Goa'uld weapons or begging the Tok’ra for some more. We could have our own production line and then scale the technology up—”

“Sam.”

She flinched. It had been a long time since Jack had used her first name. She was Carter, he was ‘sir’ or ‘Colonel’. ‘Jack’ and ‘Sam’ did not belong here. They never had.

His face was showing an expression poised between amusement and exasperation. And maybe something else, but it was so fleeting and so wrong now there was a Pete in her life that she lowered her eyes.

“Janeway’s weapon will still be there in two days’ time. Come on,” O’Neill said, not leaving her the time to find another excuse to stay on the base. “I’ve got an appointment with a cold beer, but I don’t think Janet will allow you to drive that bike of yours for the next few days. I will give you that lift to your house.”

He passed her a pair of crutches before striding off.

She grabbed the plastic handgrips, thankful he wasn’t waiting on her. Her moment of weakness after the supersoldier had finally died had been…a moment of weakness. One that she could not afford to repeat—for both their sakes. They’d both stared for far too long at that fine line between comradeship and caring too much for each other to feel the need to point it out once again and apologise.

On leaving the infirmary, she nodded at the guard at the door and glanced back. If it had not been for the woman lying a couple of beds down from hers and still unconscious after surgery, she would not be going home. But the mystery that was Captain Kathryn Janeway would have to wait.

**###**

People lay on mattresses directly on the floor, the biobeds all occupied, sick bay overflowing as more came through the door for check-ups and to find a place to sleep. They were military from what Janeway could gather from the uniforms and salutes, apart from the white lab coats of the medical staff. They also all appeared to be human and spoke something so close to Standard she had little difficulty following their conversations, even if she hardly understood what they were talking about.

A military base the shuttle sensors had not detected. Humans living on a planet supposedly uninhabited. A class M planet orbiting a sun tens of thousands of light-years away from the Alpha quadrant last time she’d checked _Voyager_ ’s astrometric map.

She needed to be sure. She needed to know, but all she could see were dark concrete surfaces, windowless walls, and unfamiliar but mostly recognisable technology. As long as she remained in sickbay, she would not discover where fate had landed her.

Leaving the needle grip inserted in her arm, she disconnected the drip. The pressure band on top to the right arm was next, then the small device stuck to the tip of one of her fingers. No alarms rang, and nobody came rushing at her side. Her bare feet touched the cold floor. The room swayed then righted itself as her brief spell of dizziness abated.

The man in the adjacent bed turned over, mouth agape, his hand brushing against her. She froze, but he continued to snore loudly and didn't wake up.

Silently, she filched a baggy pair of khaki trousers and a shirt from the foot of his bed. The trousers were way too big, and she had to tie the belt into a knot to hold them in place, all the while thanking the local fashion for baggy uniforms. She’d kept the medical gown on, but the man’s shirt proved more problematic. By the time she had threaded her left arm into the sleeve, she was trembling and sweating. Clenching her teeth, she glanced at the wall clock. She had twenty minutes before the next round of the doctor on the gamma shift, or whatever they called the graveyard duty hours here. She had to hurry.

Shoving a pair of socks down the over-sized boots, she stared at the laces undone to mid-ankle. These people liked to make simple things difficult. She pulled at the thin cords with one hand and hid the ends inside the shoes. The man’s cap covered her gathered hair. She looked like another weary soldier, unable to find sleep.

To her relief, leaving the sickbay turned out to be the easy part. The guard at the door mumbled a vague ‘sir’, his nose in a book. Tuvok would have made mincemeat of him, she thought as she walked confidently down the corridor.

**###**

Fifteen minutes later, she took advantage of another group of people coming into the infirmary to slip back in unnoticed. She quickly undressed down to her gown and lay underneath the bed covers, leaving the lines dangling from their hooks behind her head. Hopefully, the medic would think she had pulled them off in her sleep.

Her shoulder felt like the shuttle had landed on it and was now trying to burrow into the bones, but it was nothing compared to the heartache clutching at her chest.

She did not know how it could be possible, could not fathom how she had all of a sudden found herself at the end of a journey that was supposed to last for seventy-odd years.

This planet was Earth.

Just not ‘her’ Earth.

The date was all wrong, the year glaring at her from the calendar pinned to the far wall of the busy mess hall.

February 2004.

She’d already been that far back in the past before. But on this occasion, there would be no twenty-ninth century timeship to return her to 2375. She was well and truly alone on an Earth she did not belong to.

The name she’d read on an evacuation diagram danced in her mind. Cheyenne Mountain had been a public shelter during World War III, but the place had a much longer history as a military base, she recalled from a strategy assignment she’d worked on in her second year at Starfleet Academy. A mini-city from what she’d seen on the plan; some twenty-eight floors buried deep underground, comprised of an armoury, dormitories, gyms, mess halls, holding cells and three floors of labs. Floor 21 was the infirmary.

And something called a Stargate and an Embarkation room occupying the three lower levels of one of the largest military bases of the time. The word ‘Stargate’ did not fit a pre-warp society who had yet to reach Mars or make first contact, according to what she knew of her Earth’s history. But it might suit the people who had plucked her off a planet forty thousand light-years away and transported her back where her journey had started. _Voyager_ would be lucky to complete that long trek within her lifetime.

Her head sunk a little deeper into the pillow. As if she had not had enough already of time travel paradoxes, now it looked like she had stumbled into an alternate universe. Similar but not close enough to call home, and that alone dictated what she must do.

She needed to get back to the shuttle, retrace her steps and return to her ship. Hopefully, it had not been drawn into the same morass, but she could not be sure some of those supersoldiers had not been sucked back into _Voyager_ ’s universe. Wherever that world was now.

The murmurs around her faded. Her eyes closed. She did not hear the nurse checking on her, did not feel the line being reconnected to her arm, did not notice the sedative added to the drip.

Instead, she dreamed of stars, of a lost white ship, and a man with dark hair holding her close, her head nestled in the crook of his shoulder.

**###**

In the dimness, Chakotay could hardly make up B’Elanna Torres and Seven bent over the main console of _Voyager_ ’s Engineering room. It had been thirty hours since the shuttle had disappeared. The ship was at a standstill, its engines idle while half of the crew was frantically trying to find out the fate of four of their crewmates, while the other half was fighting strange drops of power all over the ship.

“Any progress?” he asked the two women. He would have been told if they had found something, anything. But he was sick of waiting for the negative reports to come to him in his office, or looking at downcast eyes during briefing meetings.

“It seems the chroniton wave we experienced was masking a concentrated burst of verteron particles,” Seven said in her usual cool tone of voice. Her composure was unsettling Chakotay more than he dared to admit.

“Verteron particles? Aren’t they associated with wormholes?” he asked. “A wormhole to where? And why was not I told about it before?”

“Given the size of the verteron pulse, the wormhole would have been too small for the shuttle to travel along it. That leaves me to conclude that its occupants are still in this system, most probably on the third planet.”

“Where are they then?” Chakotay leaned over the console. “We’ve found no life signs. If the shuttle had been destroyed, we would have spotted debris, an ionised energy trail, traced their sub-space comms. There’s nothing.”

“We did detect something else. We were confirming our analysis when you came in. The verteron particles were time-shifted,” Seven continued.

“A temporal wormhole? So what? If the shuttle was too small to enter it—"

“It could have been caught in the outflow of the vortex,” B’Elanna offered.

Chakotay gritted his teeth. “So the shuttle could still be here, but in another timeline. That’s really useful information.”

“Don’t shoot the messenger, Chakotay. Those readings don’t make much sense but that’s the best we’ve got for you for the moment. At least, it means they could still be alive,” B’Elanna responded.

Chakotay put his hand through his short-cropped hair. This was hardly the time to snap. “Sorry, I know you are doing the best you can.”

“To be honest, the only one who could make heads or tails of the situation is the Captain,” B’Elanna said in a conciliatory tone.

That was the catch of course. For all her dislike for temporal anomalies, Janeway was the best expert they had.

“Do you know what we did not find either on that planet?” Chakotay said. “There was no dilithium, not a trace of it. So why did she go there? It does not make any sense.”

His hands gripped the edge of the console. _This ship needs a captain_ , he’d told Janeway when she had retreated into herself during the long journey through the void. The night outside had driven her into the black hole of her guilt-ridden mind. He had pushed her too hard, appealing to her sense of duty to draw her out, when he should have listened instead.

Since the attack which had led to their escaping the soul-destroying void, the captain had reappeared with a vengeance. She’d been obsessed with repairing what she saw, thanks to him, as her damaged standing among the crew, and had over-compensated by making decisions she called necessary, but which were nothing short of reckless in his opinion.

Her place was on the bridge. Not lost somewhere, somewhen.

Chakotay turned around and left Engineering.


	4. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Previously:**   
>  _All SG teams were recalled to the SGC following the attack on the Alpha site and the collapse of the coalition between Earth and its allies. Carter was discharged from the infirmary and ordered by O'Neill to go home._   
>  _Janeway woke up in the infirmary during the night, not knowing where she was. She went exploring by herself and quickly realised that she had been transported more three hundred years in the past and to an alternative Earth._   
>  _Meanwhile, Voyager’s crew continued to battle widespread power failures on the ship, and Chakotay learned that Janeway’s shuttle might have been caught in a temporal wormhole._

* * *

 

**Introductions**

General Hammond crossed his hands on top of the SGC Briefing room table. “How is our mystery guest doing, Dr Fraiser?”

The diminutive woman opened the file in front of her. “She suffered fourth-degree burns to the left shoulder and necrosis of the underlying muscles caused by a glancing blow from the drone’s energy weapon. As well as first-degree burns to the palm of her right hand from a different source.”

Sam knew the damage the drone weapon could inflict. The woman who had saved her life had been lucky to survive, but that didn’t make her injury less severe.

“The surgery on her shoulder went well, and the risk of infection is low. She is ready to leave the infirmary this morning,” Janet Fraiser continued.

“Any idea where she comes from?” O’Neill asked. “Seems nobody in the US military has ever heard of a Captain Janeway.”

“She hasn’t said much. She is human, no doubt about it. Late thirties. No signs she ever bore a symbiote. Her clothes were not worth saving, but they were similar to the ones worn by her team, so I am thinking some sort of uniform. I retrieved these items from it before she went into surgery.”

She passed a small tube to Hammond, as well as a flat object shaped like a triangle with two wings. It made a metallic sound when it hit the table.

“Major Carter? I assume you had a look at those?” Hammond asked.

“I have, sir,” Carter said. “The triangle is an electronic device. I would guess an identity pass, like our access cards. Each member of Janeway's team was wearing an identical one, but they were all badly damaged and I couldn’t see much under the microscope. The supersoldier weapon must have fried the circuits.”

Hammond peered into the transparent tube. “And those four small cylinders?”

“They’re made of an unknown magnetic metal alloy. The others had either one of those only on their collars, or a bar. Probably a military rank insignia of some sort.”

“Military? From where? Russia? The UK? A planet nearby?” O'Neill rocked back in his chair. “How did they get to the Alpha site? That small spacecraft of theirs didn’t look like a long-range ship to me, but it’s still too big to go through a stargate.”

General Hammond lifted his eyes. “Quite. And one of the criteria for the location of the Alpha site was that the system was uninhabited.”

Janet Fraiser stood and gathered her papers. “I might know more about the origin of those people after I examine the bodies more thoroughly. I’ll also test the blood samples I took from Janeway. See if I can find something at the genetic level.”

“Let me know when you have results, Doctor.”

Hammond waited for Dr Fraiser to leave the room before turning to Sam. “Anything you want to add, Major Carter?”

“Janeway’s weapon. I had a quick look at it in the lab this morning. It’s some kind of energy disruptor, using naquadria or some variant of it as its power source,” Sam said.

O’Neill brought two of his fingers close together. “Looked a bit…small.”

“That’s what is so interesting about it, sir. To miniaturise such an unstable energy source speaks of a remarkable level of technology. From my preliminary examination, I believe it could also prove to be more versatile than a Goa’uld zat.”

“Didn’t seem to be working too well, from what we saw,” O’Neill added.

“Yes. I don’t know what to make of that,” Sam admitted. She longed to return to her lab and test the theories churning in her head. “Captain Janeway might be able to shed some light on how that weapon operates. It would be worth talking to her about it.” Sam was not hopeful—most front-line personnel used the technology at their disposal without dwelling into the science behind—but it was worth a try.

“I agree. It’s time to see if she’d be willing to assist us. Airman,” Hammond said to the soldier standing near the staircase to the Embarkation room, “please bring Captain Janeway here.”

Dressed in a hand-me-down Air Force uniform, a khaki green jacket thrown over the shoulders, Janeway looked much less imposing than when Sam had last seen her attacking the drone. The arm in the sling and the red gash on the cheek did not trouble the woman, but there was a weariness behind the blue eyes and pale face that seemed to come from deeper than her physical wounds.

“Captain Janeway,” Hammond showed her to a seat at the table. “I am General Hammond, leader of this facility. You’ve already met Colonel Jack O'Neill, Major Carter and Teal'c.”

She nodded at everybody in turn, giving a quick smile that did not reach her eyes, before facing Hammond. “General, let me first express my gratitude for your care and hospitality.”

“A small gesture in return for helping save Major Carter’s life from the supersoldier before the colonel and Teal'c came to the scene. And please accept our condolences for the loss of your team,” Hammond said.

Janeway’s eyes hardened. “If I may, can you tell me more about those supersoldiers? I would like to be prepared when I go back to my…people.”

Sam glanced at O’Neill, who lifted an eyebrow. Janeway had wanted to say something different. ‘Go back to my planet’, ‘to my base’. A ship maybe. As the colonel had noted, her spacecraft did not look capable of long journeys. A larger ship orbiting close by made sense. What had happened to it?

“The supersoldiers are a formidable foe. Major Carter was testing an upgraded power unit for a new weapon against them when our base was attacked. The drone had been sent by its Goa'uld masters to retrieve it by any means,” Hammond added.

Janeway gave Sam an appraising look. “That’s why it was after you.”

“I was carrying the unit, but the colonel had the weapon,” Sam said. “We needed both to kill it.”

“The people who created those drones. I don’t recognise their name.”

Teal’c’s deep voice made itself heard. “You do not know of the Goa'uld, Captain Janeway?”

“No, Teal’c. Are they a species local to that sector?" she asked him.

In Sam’s experience, most people were either afraid of the Jaffa, or dismissive of him. His proud demeanour and imposing physique did not encourage small talk and friendliness, but Janeway was treating him with the same respect she was showing to the General. She was obviously used to meeting other species, and on friendly terms, contrary to most off-planet humans SG-1 had encountered so far. Sam filed that observation for later.

“It’s unusual to come across people with your level of technology who have not met the Goa'uld, let alone heard of them,” Sam said, fishing for more information.

“We are travellers,” Janeway countered.

Sam waited for the woman to explain herself, but Janeway was clearly not willing to divulge more. For a fellow space traveller, she seemed particularly cagey.

“The supersoldiers are one of the Goa'uld’s finest inventions of late,” O’Neill said. “Anubis’ new toys,” he added with a thin smile.

Janeway’s jaw tightened. “That toy costs the life of three of my team, Colonel.”

“And more than fifty of our people, Captain, when they attacked our base at the Alpha site,” Hammond said. “We have been fighting the Goa'uld for many years now, holding them back from invading Earth, but we could do with some help. Major Carter tells me that your weapon for example is of a design which could be of interest to us. We were hoping you would be able to tell us more about it.”

“General, I am grateful for the trust you’ve extended me by bringing me here, but I am not at liberty to share the technology of my people with others. We have very strict protocols about that.”

“Not another one of those.” O’Neill threw his pen down on the table. “Why are your kind always thinking we aren’t worthy of your great intellect?” He returned Janeway’s dark glare with a smirk.

“I know this will sound harsh coming from somebody whose life you’ve just saved," she said with her chin up, "but I must insist that all the weapons and devices you took from me and my crew are returned to me immediately.”

Hammond’s face reddened. It was part of his job to convince uncooperative aliens of Earth’s pressing needs for anything that would help protect it from the Goa’uld, but Sam knew his diplomatic skills were often seriously tested. She wished Daniel was attending this meeting instead of chasing after the free Jaffa faction.

“I also need to alert my people to the danger those Goa'uld could pose,” Janeway stood and ploughed on. “I formally request to be returned to my shuttle with the bodies of my team members and all our possessions.”

“What you are asking is out of the question, Captain. The gate on the planet might be under Goa'uld control. We cannot risk another confrontation with them at the moment.”

Janeway leaned over, her eyes fixed on the General. “That…stargate. It’s how you brought me back here, isn’t it?” She waited for a nod from Hammond. “Then let me use it on my own, so your team is not put in further danger.”

Again, Sam glanced at O’Neill who was sitting very still. Not only did Janeway not know about the Goa’uld, but she wasn’t familiar with the stargates either. Maybe she came from an early Goa’uld colony who had been cut off the rest of the galaxy for a very long time. Sam could not help think there was something else at play here.

“You are in no state to fight your way through by yourself, Captain,” Hammond said, pointing to her arm in the sling.

“I am willing to take that risk. The longer my shuttle stays on that planet, the more chances it has to be discovered by your enemy,” Janeway asserted with an icy stare.

The woman had guts, Sam had to admit. Offering to return alone to the place where she’d lost her entire team was daring, to the point of recklessness. Why was she so eager to leave? What was she not telling them?

“Janeway’s got a point,” O’Neill noted. “We can’t let those snakes get their grubby little hands on new technology.”

Sam had long been an admirer of the colonel’s mixed imagery. She focused her attention on the papers in front of her, trying hard not to smile.

Hammond put his hands flat on the table. “I will not send you back there on your own, Captain. If they haven’t yet, the Goa'uld will soon hear our alliance with the Tok’ra and the Jaffa is floundering. They might attack our bases at any time, and I don’t want to have a team stranded off world when that happens.”

Janeway dropped back on her seat, her lips pursed.

“However, I am not insensitive to your predicament,” Hammond added with a conciliatory nod. “SG-3 will investigate the Alpha site once the evacuation of the other systems is concluded. That’s the best I can offer you at this stage.”

Janeway opened her mouth, then closed it, visibly unhappy. “And I shall remain your prisoner in the meantime.”

“Not at all. First of all, as a sign of good will, I am returning the devices you were wearing.”

Janeway picked up the tube and metal triangle. She looked at them with what Sam thought was longing, before putting them in the front pocket of her jacket. “Thank you, General.”

“Please consider yourself a guest of this facility for the next few days. You’ll be given VIP quarters on the base, and an around-the-clock escort. Major Carter, please show the base to the captain, so she can familiarise herself with what we have to offer.”

Sam stood, recognising the not-so-subtle request to bring the woman to their side of the bargaining table. “Yes, sir.”

“Show her the mess hall, Carter,” O'Neill drawled, waiving his hand. “See if she likes the desserts,” he threw as the two women made their way out.

“Is the colonel always so…flippant?” Janeway asked, her tone snappish.

Sam refrained a smile. She did not feel like explaining Jack. That was Daniel’s task usually, and it always took a long time.

_**###** _

Carter chose food from the shelves and brought her tray to the table. Janeway carefully followed her lead, but avoided the brightly coloured blobs floating in the tall glasses. “Jell-O?” she asked. Neelix had made very similar looking concoctions when _Voyager_ had come across a stranded human colony soon after their arrival in the Delta quadrant. She had not warmed to the trembling jelly.

“The blue kind is my favourite, but it’s an acquired taste,” said Carter.

“Hopefully, I won’t be here long enough to develop a craving for it,” Janeway retorted, quelling the terseness of her words with a smile. She felt an affinity with Carter, instinctively trusting the woman. And she needed her help to go back to the shuttle _._

“I'm curious, Major. Who are the Goa'uld?” Janeway asked as she sat down.

“The Goa'uld are…” Carter’s voice hardened, “gods, or that’s what they claimed to be for eons. In reality, they are parasitic war-mongering aliens who need human hosts to keep them alive. They have enslaved entire populations on hundreds of star systems. On Earth, they took the guise of Egyptian gods until they were kicked out more than four thousand years ago, but not before humans were sent all over the galaxy to do their bidding. We met them as soon as we reactivated the gate a few years back, and we’ve been fighting them ever since.”

Janeway stopped eating after listening to the first few words, and put her fork down, trying to get her mind around the tall tale that Egyptian gods had been beings from outer space. This planet was certainly not her Earth unless all knowledge of that history had been concealed so well that Starfleet had never known about it. Or never divulged.

She pondered the wisdom of asking more questions. It was better, for the moment at least, to pretend she was not from Earth, even if another one. If the Temporal Prime Directive did exist, a very similar rule had to be in place to prevent alternate universes from knowing too much about each other, especially when they were so different.

Which means she was truly alone. At least on _Voyager_ , she could count on the support of more than one hundred people, the friendship of many among them, and a close bond with—

Carter was looking at her with raised eyebrows. “Captain? Are you okay?”

Janeway blinked. “Yes, I'm fine.”

“We could zip past the infirmary after lunch to get that shoulder of yours looked at again.”

“That won’t be necessary. I don’t like infirmaries very much. What about your leg? It looked like a nasty wound.”

“Fine. Don’t need the crutches anymore. It sure beats concussion though,” Carter said, finishing her plate.

Janeway smiled. They were comparing injuries like two veterans of the Cardassian war. “Had many?” she asked. She managed to spear a recalcitrant cherry tomato with her fork.

“Concussions? Only a couple, so far. And you?”

“The usual. Transporter malfunctions, phaser burns—” She closed her eyes. The medication she was on, or was it the company, were causing her to relax her guard. She had to be more careful before she blurted something Carter should not know about. Like phasers and transporters.

Sam did not react, and Janeway resumed eating. The food tasted bland. She had a few bites before pushing the plate away.

“Coffee?” Sam asked.

“Yes, please.” At last something which was obviously a multiverse constant.

Carter took the plates to a counter and returned with two piping hot cups. Janeway had to stop herself from sighing at the aroma. “What about the supersoldiers?” she asked. “How do you kill them?”

“A supersoldier is not really alive, technically. They are artificially grown and have a very short life span. The weapon I was working on when the Goa'uld ships attacked the camp I was working at drains its life force away, bypassing the armour.”

“I am impressed. A kind of disruptor?”

Carter lifted her eyes from the rim of her cup. “I am sorry. I can’t tell you much more until General Hammond gives you…”

“Security clearance?”

“Yep. But your energy weapons would have worked as well, I think.”

Janeway shook her head. “Something went wrong. They aren’t supposed to overheat for one,” she said, looking at her bandaged hand.

“You use naquadria as the energy source, don’t you?” Sam asked.

Janeway could not help a chuckle. “Sorry, you remind me of a friend of mine.” Sam was as eagerly inquisitive as B’Elanna when faced with a new engineering challenge. Janeway's mirth did not last long. “And I don’t know that name either. Naquadria?”

“It’s a very unstable energy source we discovered during our travels through the gate. I’ve been working on stabilising it, but never to the degree you’ve achieved. It’s a remarkable feat.”

Blast, that woman was not only an exceptional fighter to have survived hours pursued by that drone, but she was obviously very smart. An admirable combination, and a dangerous one.

“You are a scientist?” Janeway finished her cup. The coffee tasted as if it had stood on the hot plate for too long.

“Theoretical astrophysicist. Enough to make do when we meet new people and their advanced technology,” Sam smirked, but her eyes were dancing.

Janeway bowed her head. “Touché.”

Dangerous indeed, she thought.

**_###_ **

Soon after lunch, Sam was summoned by General Hammond. She excused herself, promising she wouldn’t work on the phasers without Janeway’s permission.

Janeway was left to her own devices to freely roam the base, shadowed by an uncommunicative six-foot tall chaperone. Rule number one when a ‘guest': find out as much as you can about your hosts. The fact she was on Earth made little difference. She had to treat this place as if she was on an alien base. She took note of the internal communication system—no individual combadge, fixed devices on walls and desks, and simple push buttons in the lifts in lieu of voice commands.

The levels marked labs and that mysterious Stargate were out of bounds, guards blocking her passage. Her request to go outside was met with a ‘Sorry, Ma’am’ from the tower of muscles accompanying her. At the end of the afternoon, she returned to the infirmary where Dr Fraiser took a blood sample and asked a few questions. The woman had better bedside manners than _Voyager_ 's EMH, but she did not miss much. The questions became more pointed until Janeway admitted that yes, her shoulder was hurting, and yes, some painkillers could be useful.

Then she was shown to her quarters on Level 25. Her escort opened the door to a comfortable if somewhat utilitarian room. “I'll be outside if you need anything, Ma’am”, he said before retreating to the corridor.

Janeway collapsed on the bed, light-headed and her shoulder on fire.

**_###_ **

“Captain!”

The voice was deep and insistent.

Something must have gone very wrong with the engines because she couldn’t hear them, and why was the red alert off and the ship shuddering around her.

“Chakotay?” she whispered.

“Janeway! Wake up!”

O’Neill’s face solidified in front of her, brown eyes watching her, and his hand shaking her.

“What’s happening?” she heard herself slur. Dreams of another place ebbed away. Wrong man, wrong place…

“The Alpha site is clear. The General has given us two hours to find your aircraft and secure it. You’ve got five minutes to get ready.” And with that, the tall man was gone, leaving her with a massive headache and what seemed to be a small mountain of equipment to put on.

How was she going to keep Carter away from the shuttle? Should she even try?

**_###_ **

The carved inner circle turned, the glowing triangular and enigmatic icons locking into place one after the other. Janeway soon understood why everybody was standing at the bottom of the metal ramp leading to the gate. Defying gravity, a massive turbulence soared towards her from the round opening, before collapsing as suddenly into a rippling shimmering surface held vertically, as if by magic, within the arched boundary of the ancient artefact.

O’Neill and Teal'c walked up the ramp, and she followed, Sam at her side. “You can touch it,” Carter said, grinning like an enthusiastic kid showing off her latest discovery.

Janeway put her hand against the flowing substance, encountering a slight suction as it disappeared into the liquid wall. Either the laws of physics as she knew them did not work the same way in this universe, or this Earth had made a discovery which the Federation knew nothing about.

“Did you build this?” she asked, spellbound.

“No. The entire network across the galaxy was built by a race we call the Ancients. This particular gate was found in an archaeological dig in Egypt in the 1930s, but nobody could make sense of it as it obviously predated human history by millions of years. Daniel was the first to realise it was a portal which enables travel to other planets,” Sam explained. Her eyes lit up. “Each gate is an Einstein-Rosen bridge—”

“The gates create a stable wormhole between them. That’s amazing!” Janeway’s mind was whirling with ideas about the kind of technology that could achieve that effect. She could not stop smiling.

She took a step back, pointing at the circle above her head. “Those seven symbols must be galactic coordinates, then, with Earth as the origin,” she added. “But, what about the exit vectors? Wouldn’t they have wandered off course with time if the gate is several million years old?”

“You mean stellar drift? You are quite right. We had to recalculate the position of—"

O’Neill coughed. “You know me, Carter, I can listen to you sciencing for hours on end, but we haven’t got all day.”

Carter straightened her back and lifted her weapon. “Yes, sir. I mean, no, sir.”

Janeway shook her head. Sam’s scientific expertise had to be an asset to the SGC, and yet, there she was, carrying what looked like a heavy gun and equipment as if it was the most natural thing in the world. All in the name of protecting her team when going back to the planet where she’d almost died.

“Good. Teal'c and I will go first. You bring up the rear.” O’Neill stepped into the shimmering wall and disappeared. A few moments later, Janeway was back in the Delta quadrant, stumbling into a late afternoon sun setting on a planet tens of thousand light years away from Earth.

She fell to her knees and was promptly sick. 


	5. Back & Forth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Previously:**   
>  _Janeway has decided to hide her true origin to avoid contaminating the alternate Earth with technology and knowledge from her own universe. General Hammond however made no secret that he was interested in her weapons to help Earth’s fight against the Goa’uld. After he allowed her to return to the shuttle to secure it, Janeway took her first steps through the stargate._

* * *

**Back & Forth**

Sam kept an eye on O’Neill and Teal’c who were scanning what remained of the Alpha site for unwelcomed intruders. Most of the equipment had been removed and the dead repatriated to the SGC, but the devastation left behind was no less vivid. The footprints of the tents were still clearly visible among the debris left behind from the self-destruct explosion and the Goa'uld attack. The only structure that had survived intact was the airstrip shimmering in the heat half a kilometre away.

O’Neill signalled the area was clear and ambled off. Janeway followed him, Teal’c at her side. Sam watched the team’s six, her leaden feet dragging her to a place she had no wish to revisit.

The walk was easy, a mere half an hour stroll through montane forests and gentle slopes. It had seemed so much longer while being hunted down by the supersoldier. Maybe she had wanted to believe she’d led the drone on a long and arduous chase when all she had done was stumble two steps ahead of it, and all she had managed was to exhaust herself and think of giving up. If it had not been for the three people walking ahead of her, she’d now be lying on a cold slab back at the SGC.

She stared at the blackened scree where the drone had finally given up its non-life. The heat of the sun did nothing to warm her up, and a shiver run down her back.

“Carter? You’re good?”

O’Neill’s expression was his usual ‘I-need-my-team-alert’, but she was thankful for the sunglasses he was wearing. She was not willing to see the concern she could hear in his voice.

“Yes, sir.” She hitched her P-90 gun a little higher.

The nose of the alien spacecraft lay a few feet from a massive boulder. Either the pilot was an ace, or it had been one rough landing. Or both, Sam thought as she noticed the deep ruts furrowed in the gravel for fifty metres behind it and the odd leaning position of the squarish spacecraft. Its scorched hull bore the marks of the drone’s weapon fire, but it looked otherwise intact.

Teal’c stood guard outside. “Just in case,” said O’Neill in a jovial tone.

Sam entered after Janeway into the rear compartment, noticing the subtle change in hierarchy. While the captain had followed O’Neill’s directions during their hike from the gate, it was clear she was in charge now, and that they were her invited guests.

The colonel rapped his knuckles over large cubic containers lining the cargo bay like sentinels. They sounded empty, and for the first time, Sam wondered what Janeway had been doing on the planet. The captain had not said, focusing instead on the supersoldiers and the threat they posed to her people. Sam didn't even know their name, or what planet they were from. Janeway had said they were travellers. Going where? So many unknowns, so many things left unsaid, and yet those riddles were not all that was puzzling about the alien woman.

The cockpit was busy with seats and consoles, their purpose unclear. “Cool,” O'Neill said as he flopped on one of the back seats and stretched his legs. “You know, Carter, this beats our F-302. Not as fine looking from the outside, but so much bigger on the inside.”

Sam dipped her head in agreement. The human-built F-302 was a glorified fighter jet in essence, and about as spacious as its conventional counterpart. She happened to have helped design it and she liked it. However, the two-seater Tau’ri flyer bore little resemblance to this spacecraft which screamed advanced technology in its comfortable layout. The people who had built this were true space farers, not just aircraft engineers slapping borrowed technology onto an old design.

She sat down near Janeway, her fingers lightly touching the console in front of her. At first glance, the distinctive look felt oddly familiar. There were none of the multi-coloured crystals the Goa'uld were fond of, no neural interface from the Ancients, no Tok’ra holographic display. As if the shuttle was something Earth would have developed over time in a world with no Goa'uld.

The computer responded immediately to Janeway’s command code, but the AI voice did not waver, ‘unable to comply’ being the more frequent answer to the captain's questions about engine status, something called a warp drive, communications, navigation, environmental systems, hull integrity. This shuttle might have been meant for space, but it was not going anywhere.

Janeway pushed herself off the console. Sam thought she was going to hit it with her fist. “This naquadria,” the woman asked in a frustrated voice. “What is it exactly?”

“It’s a highly unstable isotope of what the gates are built of, naquadah. We've managed to stabilise it for use in hyperdrives—faster than light propulsion systems,” Sam explained when she saw Janeway’s frown, “but it requires a large buffer to keep it from going critical.”

“If it is unstable that might explain why the engines’ energy matrix is draining away, like our weapons did.” Janeway pinched her lips together.

“The energy drain could be due to radiation outflow,” Sam offered, getting concerned.

O’Neill rose from his seat. “Look, Janeway—” The glare from the woman stopped him in his tracks. “Captain,” he corrected with a sharp tilt of the head. “We’ve had pretty bad experiences with naquadria. We lost Daniel once to radiation poisoning, and I'm not willing to repeat that little experiment. So, I say we are out of here.”

Janeway raised her head. “Computer, check for radiation.”

~ _Background emission load is within normal parameters for human life_.~

“It’s not radioactive decay,” Sam said, frowning. “A stable isotope?”

“Why are the engines powering down, then?” Janeway retorted. “Does naquadria take any other entropy paths?”

“It goes kaboom. In a big way,” O’Neill said, surprising Sam. The colonel rarely showed off his scientific knowledge, and when he did, it still came as a shock.

“There’s no indication the engines are overloading. They are just not working.”

“Carter?”

“I believe the shuttle is safe for the moment, sir. But we can’t move it to the Beta base.”

Janeway stood, holding tight to the seat. “You were thinking of bringing my shuttle back to your base?”

“Not to Earth, but to a place a bit more secure than here.”

Janeway’s glare ramped up. “Not without my saying so, Colonel.”

“It’s that or leaving it here in the open for Anubis to pick it up next time he comes around,” O’Neill noted with a hard smile.

“I’ll put the shuttle on security lockout. That will prevent any alien from entering.”

O’Neill returned Janeway’s gaze. “And everybody else too.”

Sam held her breath, sensitive to the shift between the two well-matched COs—one she would gladly give her life for if the need arose, and the other, she was starting to suspect, who was as uncompromising as he was.

“Carter, do we have a plan B?”

Sam frowned. The General had never discussed a plan B. “Well, the captain could borrow the SGC lab facilities to work on the weapon and extrapolate the findings to what’s happening with the shuttle,” she said, thinking on her feet. “I’ll be happy to oversee her,” she added at a questioning eyebrow from O’Neill.

“What about her rule about not sharing her fancy technology with us?”

Sam dipped her head and smiled. After years of non-stop contacts with aliens, O’Neill had learnt a thing or two about making deals.

“ _She_ can’t give you the technology,” Janeway said, right hand on her hip. “But I can hardly prevent Major Carter from watching. There’s nothing I can do about knowledge you gather by yourself.”

The colonel looked at Carter, who nodded her agreement, before facing Janeway. “Let me talk to General Hammond.”

“Good. I’ll start checking a few systems while you return to Earth.” Janeway turned around and pulled out a panel from underneath the front console.

“Oh no, you don’t. General’s orders: we all go back to SGC before sunset.”

Janeway protested. “Take Carter back. If Tuv—I mean Teal'c doesn't mind, I’ll stay. There's too much to do.”

“No can do, Captain. Collect whatever equipment you need to get started at the SGC. We’ll help carry it back to the gate.”

The dirty look Janeway threw at O’Neill’s back could have rivalled the supersoldier weapon, in Sam’s opinion.

**_###_ **

“Pizzas!” O’Neill opened the lid of the top box, fanning the aroma with his hand.

Carter was busy at the back of the room, her eyes fixed on the wall of equipment. “Thank you, sir. Can you put it on the desk? I’ll be with you in a sec.”

Janeway made some room on the table by moving her PADD and tricorder to the side and a pile of manuals on the floor. Cuttint the first slice of pizza, O’Neill handed it on one of the paper plates he’d brought with him. “Captain.”

Her mouth watered. Her last meal had been lunch about fourteen hours before, followed by a dozen cups of flavourless brownish water. How she had managed to find the one alternative Earth with such an atrocious coffee was beyond bad luck.

She took a bite. Tasteless too, but edible. “Thanks,” she said.

“You know…” O’Neill cut another slice and started eating. “I’d like to thank you too,” he said in a low voice, tilting his head at Carter’s back.

Her mouth full, Janeway could only convey her confusion with a raised eyebrow.

“If you had not engaged the supersoldier, Teal’c and I might not have arrived on time before it got to Carter.” Sam swore at something, and O’Neill lifted his eyes, watching his teammate with an impassive look on his face.

Feeling she was missing something, Janeway nodded warily and continued to eat. O’Neill was comfortable in his role as leader, but it was not difficult to sense the great camaraderie and respect that existed between the three SG-1 she’d met so far. Long years working closely together would deepen personal bonds within a team, until suffering the loss of a team member could feel like losing a part of oneself. She knew too well how that felt.

She quashed the thought at once. “And the pizza is…?” she asked instead.

O’Neill’s lips turn upwards in a smirk. “A peace offering,” he said with a drawl in his voice. “Janeway.”

She chuckled and finished what was on her plate before refusing a second serve. “I do appreciate the gesture. Thanks again.” She left the table with PADD and tricorder in hand, glad that the hatchet of mistrust between them had been well and truly buried.

“Carter, it’s your favourite,” O’Neill said, tucking in his third slice. “Come and have a bite before it gets cold.”

An inverse harmonic would better fit the data, Janeway deliberated, linking her PADD to the equipment measuring the weapon output before getting herself another cup of coffee. So far, most of her time had been spent hardwiring the tricorder to the SGC computer. She had to hand it to Carter, the woman had a knack for finding solutions, while her own brain seemed to be getting more and more sluggish.

Waiting for the analysis to run its course, she pondered her options. Her priority was to go back to her future and the right universe. The shuttle was safely locked down, but she needed SGC help to access it and most likely to make it work. How to do that without trampling all over the Prime Directive was a problem. In the few hours she’d spent with Sam, she’d been struck with how agile and knowledgeable her mind was, despite a reticence to recognise her own worth. Given time, the woman would deduce what most of the shuttle systems were about and their theoretical underpinnings. Not today, not tomorrow, but give her a few months, a couple of years at most, and who knew what this Earth would achieve with Federation technology. As much as their needs were dire, she could not allow that to happen.

The PADD was still analysing the data. She sipped the warm coffee, her attention drifting as snippets of conversation between Carter and O’Neill reached her.

“Still hot. Thanks.”

“Well, there are some perks in being a colonel. I requisitioned Hammond’s car to go into town. Mine’s still got problems with the ignition.”

“I could have a look at it if you want.”

“Carter, I would not think of getting your hands dirty.”

Sam laughed. “What did the General say about his car disappearing?”

“He does not need to know. He’s gone off world and I returned the car without a scratch.”

“The Jaffa?”

“Yes, he’s still trying to get them to return to the Beta site. Daniel has gone with him, but you know them. As stubborn and proud as… well, you know. Anyway, what’s wrong with Janeway’s weapon? You two have been at it for most of the night.”

“We’ve established that it’s not fuelled by naquadria, but by a crystalline version of a closely related isotope. It’s not decaying either although the weapon is still losing energy. The thing is, we don’t understand where that energy is going.”

“You’ll figure it out, Carter. You always do.”

Silence hovered, and Janeway lifted her eyes from the PADD. Sam and O’Neill were sitting across from each other, the dim light of the room hiding their faces.

“I should have been there,” O’Neill said. His fingers brushed Carter’s hand, a gesture which caused Kathryn's chest to tighten.

“You couldn’t have known. The Alpha site was supposed to be safe.”

“But it wasn’t.”

Sam dropped the pizza slice on the plate. “No, it wasn't.”

“You’re okay?”

“It’s just…I wish there was an end to all…this. I’m so tired of it all,” Carter answered in a bitter tone,  the tip of her fingers touching his.

“You need to give it time, Sam.”

Janeway stared back down at the PADD, the figures and words blurring as her eyes began to sting. She remembered the woman leaning against the tall man after he’d killed the supersoldier, his arm around her shoulder. As much as the colonel seemed to live by his team, she now realised that it was Samantha Carter he couldn’t bear to lose.

O'Neill pushed himself against the back of his chair. “You know,” he said in a lighter tone, “sometimes the most important thing is not the destination but the journey. Or so, I’ve heard wiser men say.”

 _Journey_. Janeway’s ears pricked, and she jumped to her feet. “You are right, Colonel. We should focus on how the shuttle got onto that planet.”

Carter startled, wiping her cheek, while O’Neill straightened his back, but Janeway hardly noticed. She put the PADD on the table between the left-over pizzas and searched for the shuttle logs. She thought of apologising about eavesdropping on what had obviously been a private conversation, then forgot as her voice and that of Ensign Dorado filled the room.

~ _Captain, the sensors indicate the solar flare we were monitoring is on an intersection course.~_

_~Compensate, factor two zero—~_

_~Unable to compensate. Gravimetric rift straight ahead. We’re—_ ~

“There,” Janeway said, stopping the recording. “A gravimetric rift is usually a good indication a wormhole is forming.”

“Carter?” O’Neill waved his hand. “Wasn’t a solar flare responsible for us going backwards a few years ago?”

“Backwards?” Janeway asked, baffled.

Sam unceremoniously shoved the pizza boxes on a chair and opened her laptop. She scrolled through files, then turned the screen towards Janeway. “Five years ago, we learned that when the matter stream from the gate intersects a solar flare, the magnetic field of the planet acts as a slingshot. The temporal position of the distal end of the wormhole moves out of sync with its origin and winds-up in the past. If something or someone is moving along or across the wormhole at that same instant, they end up—”

Rolling his eyes, O’Neill pushed his chair back, leaving the table to the two women bent over the computer screen.

“—back in time,” Janeway exclaimed, ignoring him. “The gravitational rift the sensors noted was—”

“Don’t worry about me,” the man said, grabbing the last slice of pizza.

“—the gate wormhole opening over the Alpha site. Your shuttle got caught—” Carter said.

O’Neill licked his fingers. “I am used to it by now.”

“—in the gravitational eddies surrounding the wormhole linking the two stargates. That was the rift we detected. The shuttle fell into the past.” Kathryn concluded.

“Mind you, I still find Daniel difficult to follow at times. Talks way too fast.”

“—but our present—” Carter added.

“—is not my past. I know nothing of gates or Goa’uld.”

Janeway’s legs gave out and she half-sat, half-collapsed on the chair behind her. For the first time in days, there was the hint of an explanation as to why the shuttle had found itself on the wrong side of time. It did not help her dead team members, but it meant it was very unlikely that _Voyager_ would now be facing an armada of supersoldiers. Her ship had been too far away to be affected by the wormhole. It was safe, and her crew was unscathed.

A wave of relief swamped her, bringing tears to her eyes for the second time in less than ten minutes.

O’Neill scraped his chair on the concrete floor. “Could you two run all that by me again? I think I might have missed a couple of details.”

**_###_ **

“So, if I understand you well, Major Carter, Captain Janeway has not only travelled back in time from a far away future, but also in a different universe from her own past.”

“That is correct, General.” Sam refrained a yawn. She hoped the debriefing with Hammond would be short. She glanced at Janeway who was nursing a cup of coffee as if it was her only anchor to the present.

“I knew you would follow, General. Only took me a few minutes myself but—”

“Thank you, Jack. Captain, I assume you realised the truth about your situation well before Major Carter did. Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I had not realised that you had already experienced time travel and alternate universes. In my twenty-first century, those were still theories at best or cheap ways used to prop up science fiction stories.”

“But so far our experiences have been limited to the SGC timeline and a couple of alternate universes,” Carter added, feeling out of her depth. “What’s happening now is unknown territory. The consequences could be widely different.”

“Are you implying that what happened to the Captain might have some impact on our timeline?”

“I don’t know, sir. The captain’s knowledge of quantum theory way surpasses mine.”

O’Neill interjected. “For crying out loud, Carter, give yourself a bit of slack. Janeway’s got a three-hundred-year heads start on all that science stuff. Can’t you…hypothesize a little?”

“Well,” Carter said, buoyed by O'Neill's faith in her. “The situation is similar to the interdimensional mirror we encountered four years ago. Because the time divergence then was only a few years old, the effect was limited to people who moved between the two universes, and there were no other noticeable effects in our world.” She was thankful for the General's order the destruction of the mirror. Finding her alternate-self had been married to the alternate-Jack had been enough to put her off wanting to investigate other universes.

“But you are assuming we are looking at something else here,” the General said.

Carter nodded. “We are talking about a separation of hundreds of years in addition to shifting into a different universe.” She threaded her fingers together. “The consequences of those two worlds suddenly intersecting could be much wider in extent. Although the captain is hardly going to meet herself or a close relative, so there might be less urgency from that point of view.”

“Why make you say that?” Janeway asked.

“Our alternate-selves got sick soon after they arrived in this universe. We could not co-exist within the same world, so we had to send them back,” Sam explained.

“You never know, Carter, you could be Janeway's great-great-great-grand mother, in her universe.”

Carter frowned. “That’s not funny, Colonel.” Pete had talked about having children during one on their pillow talks, citing her age among other things. She had cut him off, and he had wisely dropped the subject.

“Oh, come on. Don't tell me you haven’t spotted the resemblance. You are both bright, sciency, standing up to whatever is thrown at you. She's your spitting image, give or take a few generations in between.”

Janeway was grinning. “I would be honoured to have Major Carter as one of my forebears,” she said.

“See!”

“Colonel.” Sam was past being nice to Jack. The man could be insufferable at times.

“The only ancestor I know who was alive around your time was a NASA engineer by the name of Shannon O’Donnell.” Janeway sounded wistful. “She was one of the first female astronauts from what I understand. Although maybe not here.”

“Going back to the problem at hand, how large will these impacts be?” Hammond asked.

“My apologies, General. We don’t really know, but the energy drain of my shuttle and weapons could be part of the early effects.”

“So, what’s your plan? Major, Captain?”

“We need to study that energy drain in more details,” Carter said.

“And find a way for me and all that I brought here to return where I belong,” added Janeway.

“I want a daily update on your progress.” Hammond stood. “I will inform my superiors of this development.”

“General. One more thing.”

“Yes, Colonel?”

O’Neill tilted his head towards Janeway. “Given when the captain comes from, she can hardly be considered a threat to the SGC.”

Hammond frowned, then nodded. “You have a point, Jack. Captain Janeway, in light of this new information, I grant you full access to this base. You may leave for short outings as long as somebody from SG-1 is with you at all times. I trust you will not discuss this facility with anybody else than SGC personnel.”

“Of course, sir. Thank you.”

Janeway had a spring in her step as they walked out of the lab. Sam was feeling much less optimistic. SG-1 might have gone into the past, but going back to the future was a totally different thing. Not to mention in a different universe. The whole situation was just too hard to comprehend.

And fascinating.


	6. Thinking of Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Previously:**   
>  _Janeway's shuttle was found to be non-functional for reasons unknown. Back at the SGC, she and Carter started working together on the very same problem affecting the phaser. Sam soon discovered that Janeway came from a different timeline and universe, and their guest's true origin was finally revealed to the SGC._

* * *

**Thinking of Home**

“A motorbike?” Janeway eyed the two-wheeler with a degree of apprehension she had not felt when going through the stargate. As a means of transportation, the contraption seemed to be a remarkably hazardous way of getting to Sam’s house for the evening. “You've got to be kidding me.”

Grinning, Sam offered her a helmet before straddling the machine and starting the engine. “Trust me. There’s nothing to it. You lean with me,” she shouted over the deep rumble that sounded like it emanated from a much bigger machine.

Resigned to her fate, Janeway put on the bulky protection and climbed on the small back seat, pondering the forces about to propel her head first down the mountainside.

“Hold on tight,” Sam said quite unnecessarily. Kathryn gripped the woman’s waist, hoping her left shoulder would handle the strain. To her relief, the drive started slow, Sam weaving down the mountain road at a sedate pace through the constant drizzle and pending dusk. Kathryn soon got the hang of leaning in the corners and she loosened her stiff hands. In response, the treed landscape rushed in a blur, as the bike accelerated in an awesome demonstration of raw power.

She was disappointed when Sam slowed down as they reached the town. The streets were mostly deserted, the traffic light. Maybe the winter weather explained the lack of people around, she thought as the bike crawled along residential streets lined with dark trees and houses. Less than an hour after they’d left Cheyenne Mountain, they stopped at the back of a one-storey house.

Janeway climbed off the bike on slightly shaky legs. She took the helmet off and shook her hair loose, still dazzled by the ride. “That was great,"

Sam pushed the bike into the garage. “I like the feeling of total freedom. You know, the fine line between control and…well…”

“Lack of control?” Janeway smiled, thinking of another speed aficionado of her acquaintance. She breathed in the sweet smell of the pine trees across the yard.

“Something like that,” Sam said as they entered the house. They followed a short corridor before arriving in the kitchen. Sam put down the two helmets on the counter and unzipped her leather jacket. “I’ll show you to the guest room.”

“I don’t want to impose on you,” Janeway said, frowning. O’Neill had not too subtly devolved the responsibility of keeping an eye on her while off-base onto Carter. She was not sure if the woman was that keen to babysit her, and felt guilty to have taken so much of her time already. “I’ll get back to the base this evening, using…” she searched her mind for the right word, “a taxi.”

“A taxi? If you still want to leave after dinner, I’ll drive you myself. If you can survive another bike ride,” Sam said with a smirk.

She showed Janeway the bathroom, then opened the door to a small room with a single bed, a wooden wardrobe and drawn shades over the window. The cool air smelt stale as if the room had not been used for months. Janeway put her small bag on the bed. All she had was the borrowed uniform on her back and a hygiene pack she’d found in her VIP quarters at the base.

“Tomorrow, we’ll have to be back at the base for your appointment with Janet before the memorial ceremony at ten,” Sam said. “In the meantime, I’d like you to stay. I could do with a break, and you look like you could use one too, Captain.”

They had spent the last two days discussing theories until the small hours of the morning and trekking to the shuttle several times in between. Over the past few hours, Kathryn had found herself staring at the same equations for seconds at a time, numbers and symbols whirling around her. Nothing made sense. Everything they’d thrown at the engines or the weapons had so far miserably failed. And without the shuttle engines working, there was only so much she could do to find out how to return to _Voyager_. Wherever _Voyager_ was now.

“We’ll have to wait for the shuttle capacitors to charge in any case,” Sam added.

“You are right,” Janeway said, making her mind up. “Thank you for the invitation. And please, call me Kathryn.”

Staying at Sam’s house would also help keep Doctor Fraiser away for the night. The bend of her left elbow was growing bruises at an alarming rate from all the blood the woman was taking out of her.

“That sounds good…Kathryn.” Sam’s smile illuminated the room. The woman had the brightest, most infectious smile Kathryn had ever seen. “Look, I haven't had the time to do any grocery shopping, so I’m afraid it’s macaroni cheese or chicken curry for dinner.”

“Whatever is easiest,” Kathryn said, smiling in return as they walked back to the kitchen. As long as Sam didn’t ask her to cook, she was going to do her best to relax and enjoy the company.

**###**

During dinner, Sam avoided talking shop and science. She found Kathryn was happy to do the same, and they exchanged memories of their childhoods and early careers instead. They had been born and bred in very similar organisations—Starfleet for Kathryn, the Air Force for her. Both their fathers had wanted and demanded the best out of their respective daughters.

Sam recounted her struggles to be accepted in a man-dominated world, where brawn still appealed more than brains to too many members of the military. “I got referred to as ‘ _the chick’_ , spoken to as if I was stupid or incompetent,” she revealed, stabbing at a piece of chicken.

“It must have been very frustrating. I’ve met my share of misogynistic species, but I had not realised that attitude could still be widespread in twenty-first century Earth. And what about the Colonel?” Kathryn asked. "Was he okay with you joining SG-1?"

“He was less than welcoming at first,” Sam conceded. “I actually offered to arm-wrestle him when we met, just to prove I could do the job,” she added with a chuckle. “I quickly found out that it wasn’t the fact that I was a woman that bothered him, but that I was a scientist.”

Kathryn let out a deep uninhibited laugh all the more surprising because Sam did not think she laughed very often. Sadness and grief were wrapped around the captain like an old shawl that had become part of her life for too long to discard at the first sign of respite.

“That explains so much,” Kathryn said, eyes crinkling.

Sam stiffened instinctively. “He does respect what I bring to the SGC now.”

The ghost of a smile lingered in the corner of Kathryn’s mouth. “He also cares about you. And you care about him.”

“That’s our job as SG-1. We look after each other. He cares about Teal’c and Daniel too, as I do. Colonel O’Neill is a good officer and an exceptional team leader.”

Sam could feel her cheeks grow warm. Oh boy, why did she have to sound so much on the defensive? Was their dance around a relationship that was not one so obvious? Was she living a lie staking a relationship with Pete? And who was she lying to the most?

“I understand,” Kathryn said in a quiet voice. Her smile disappeared, and she focused on moving food around her plate.

Sam wondered about the sudden change in the woman’s demeanour, but let it pass. After a few seconds where neither spoke, Kathryn started recounting a fanciful story about a race called the Ferengi and their treatment of their ‘females’. Enthralled, Sam listened as the woman talked about some of the strange worlds and species that made what she called the Federation. Dinner passed quickly as they swapped yarns, each more extravagant than the previous one. They retired to the couch in the lounge room making short work of a bottle of white wine, the conversation turning to the subject of Sam’s motorbike.

Stretching her legs on the settee, Sam observed her guest unwind at the other end of the couch, left arm in a sling, right hand holding an empty wine glass. “You squealed the whole way to here,” she said, finishing her own drink.

Kathryn jutted her chin in a pretend protest. “I am a captain. I can't squeal. It's a physical impossibility.”

Jack had been right about Janeway. She was bright, tough, determined. But she was also funny and irreverent when letting her hair down. With her feet tucked under her, she also looked cute, captain or no captain.

“Did so. Well, maybe not the whole time, but remember that long bend to the right, followed by the two sharp left corners?” Sam used her hand to exaggerate the bike moves, just to see Kathryn’s reactions.

Kathryn winced. “I prefer not. It reminded me when the inertial dampeners of the shuttle went offline one day. I ended being thrown against Chakotay, and he…”

Her face fell, and she sat up, cradling her glass between long fingers turning pale.

Sam hesitated to ask who was that Chakotay who could so easily sadden Kathryn. She got up to fetch another bottle from the kitchen instead.

She looked over the bottles on the rack, not wanting to leave her guest alone too long with her thoughts. Kathryn was carefully refusing to dwell into anything too private, and heavily censoring everything else. Sam didn’t mind. It was also second nature for her to avoid talking to close friends about what she was doing at the SGC, let alone to an almost stranger. She grabbed a bottle of Montelena Zinfandel, a birthday gift from her dad, and scored the top of the foil sleeve with the corkscrew.

 _Starfleet_. _The Federation_. _Starships_. Those words sounded so exotic, so tantalising in what they brought to mind: a society of space travellers; starships big enough to raise families; humans only one of dozens of sentient species; technology well beyond her ken; peaceful exploration of unknown worlds.

It was not that this Earth was backwards, far from it. The _Prometheus_ was promising to revolutionise space flight, even if the only Tau’ri spaceship to date was still going through testing. Learning to blend alien technologies had not been a walk in the park, and she was proud of what had been achieved in only a few years. But it was not the same. She so wanted to be in the future Janeway was painting in the broadest of brushes. Because, right now, after the deadly debacle that had been the Alpha site, she could only dream of a place where there was no Goa'uld, no saving the universe 24/7, where she would not be expected to understand alien technologies at the drop of a hat and fix everything. Where she could maybe have a life rather than fight supersoldiers.

She yanked the cork out and red wine cascaded over her fingers, staining the kitchen top. Swearing under her breath, she cleaned up the mess before returning to her guest, bottle in hand.

The woman from a future she would never get to see was still perched on the edge of the couch as if ready to take flight. Sam observed her while filling up both glasses again. Getting the captain to open up was about as difficult as getting Jack to talk about his own private life. It had taken Sam months to realise the man had a family—had had a family. She could feel the same invisible walls firmly in place around Kathryn.

Although, if her pink cheeks and cautious movements as she brought the glass to her lips were an indication, the woman's self-built fortifications were probably close to crumbling by now.

“When you first met General Hammond, you said you were a traveller. Where to?” Sam asked, settling against the padded back of the couch.

The woman lowered her gaze. “Earth. My ship, my crew, we've been seeking to get back to Earth,” she said in a low raspy voice.

“Your ship?” So, there was a ship somewhere near the Alpha site. O’Neill had been right about that. “Where is it now?”

Kathryn’s shoulders dropped. “I don’t know. We were scanning the edge of the system for dilithium and I decided to investigate the planet where you found me. When I checked the sensors ight after the shuttle crash-landed, there was no trace of the ship, and it never answered our hails. I couldn’t understand why at the time, but it makes sense if only the shuttle was caught in the wormhole. My ship is still in its own timeline and universe. Safe hopefully.”

Sam could not help but feel disappointed. The shuttle was a neat piece of engineering, but seeing a ship from the future would have been something else. “What’s its name?”

A longing smile came to Janeway. “ _Voyager_. An Intrepid-class starship with a crew complement of one hundred and forty. The most technologically advanced Starfleet ship at the time of its launch.”

“What happened? Why were you trying to get to Earth?” Sam asked.

“We found ourselves stranded…” Janeway gulped down a mouthful of wine before setting the glass on the table with a judder. “No, that’s a lie. Five years ago, _I_ stranded _Voyager_ on the other side of the galaxy.”

Sam’s jaw dropped. “Five years? How long will your journey last?”

“Decades.” Kathryn lifted her face, blue eyes hard as steel. “It will take us decades to get back if we don’t find quicker routes.”

Saving the galaxy as a member of a well-trained and highly skilled team with the backing of the mighty US military was one thing, but finding yourself marooned, a lifetime away from home, had to be heart-wrenching.

“So, imagine my surprise,” Kathryn snorted, “when I discover I’m talking to people who can travel thousands of light years in an instant. They had to have access to the shortcut I had been looking for, I tell myself. We’d been in a similar situation before, on a planet called Sikaris, but this time, I might find a way to make it work.”

She reached for her glass again and downed it. “And then I quickly realised I had stumbled into the wrong timeline, and not only that but the amazing transport technology you use is absolutely worthless to us. And now I am stuck here while my ship is somewhen else.”

Sam cringed. “Doing it all by yourself must be hard.”

“We might be alone, but _Voyager_ is a good ship. They'll get home.”

Sam did not miss how Kathryn had deflected the conversation away from herself. The walls were up again.

“But enough talking about me. And you, how do you do it?” Janeway asked.

“Do what?”

Kathryn gestured to the room. “Save the galaxy from the Goa'uld during the day and come back home in the evening. It must be hard not to be able to share your experiences with anybody outside the SGC.”

Sam looked around, seeing her house for the first time from an outsider's point of view: the shelves groaning under the weight of outdated science books discussing a universe devoid of intelligence except on a small and insignificant planet; a few photos of her in uniform with her dad standing proudly at her side, but nothing since she’d joined the SGC. The impersonal room did not reveal anything about who she was and what she’d been doing for the past seven years. Or where the rest of her life was heading.

“I don't spend much time here. I stayed at the Alpha site when I was working on the supersoldier weapon, and before that…I can't recall when I was last home.”

She’d been with Pete, that she could remember. They had hardly made it through a rare dinner together before ending in bed. He knew about the Stargate program after the debacle with Daniel’s ex-girlfriend-turned-Goa’uld, but not the details of her missions or the precise dangers she faced every time she stepped though the stargate.

She sighed. Pete didn’t really fit among stargates, murderous drones, time travel and starships. How could they have a future together if she couldn’t share her present life with him? They belonged to two universes as worlds apart as Janeway’s was from hers.

And, of course, the one man with whom she did share most of her waking hours, who belonged to space as much as she did, was out of bounds for those very same reasons.

“I feel more at home at the SGC than I do here,” she admitted with a pang in the chest.

Kathryn put her hand on Sam’s arm, her face showing only concern. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to pry.”

Sam shrugged off the sorrow that threatened. “I should have stuck to beer, I think. What about we go outside and get some fresh air before we call it a night?”

“I'll appreciate that,” Kathryn said in a good-natured tone.

They took their glasses and sat on the front steps, huddling under the throw Sam had brought with her. The clouds were thinning, the moon only a thin crescent. Kathryn lifted her eyes towards the shroud of stars blanketing the tree tops across the park, and grew very still as if mesmerised by the sight.

Turning away from the touchy subject of her non-existent personal life, Sam was happy to move the conversation onto the comforting world of astronomy. “When I was a child, all I wanted was to go there, among the stars. To explore strange new worlds, seek out new life. Entire civilisations even if I thought at the time they didn’t really exist.” She chuckled. “I never imagined it was all so very real.”

Kathryn did not react, her face turned to the heavens. Sam forged on. “You must have seen the Milky Way often enough. You were born in Indiana, you said?” she prattled.

Glass shattered on the lower step.

“Kathryn? What’s wrong?”

“I know it’s not my Earth.” Kathryn’s voice broke, her hand clutching at Sam’s arm. “But it’s the same stars, the same sky. It even smells like home.”

Tentative, Sam put her arm around Kathryn’s shoulders. The woman leaned against her, shaking, and she held her tight, grieving with her friend for a place to call home.

**###**

Kathryn stared at the ceiling of the guest bedroom, clasping the broken combadge she had attached to a chain around her neck. She felt like an ancient mariner looking up to the night sky after days of heavy clouds and realising he had been blown way off course.

For the first time since she had sworn to get her crew back home, she wondered about what they would find at the end of their journey. Seven decades on, home was bound to wither into a memory of times past, more an idea than a concrete, familiar place. As alien, she realised with an aching chest, as the Delta quadrant was now to the weary Voyagers.

She pulled the chain over her head and put it down on the bedside table. Turning and tossing, she slid into an uneasy sleep, anxious brown eyes watching over her.

**###**

“Commander, this is the sixth search of the star system you have ordered in as many days.”

“And I’ll order many more until we find something, Tuvok.”

“All indications point to Lieutenant Torres’s hypothesis being correct. The shuttle is not present in our timeline anymore. It is therefore extremely unlikely the result of this search will be any different from the previous five.”

Despite his exhaustion, Chakotay stood from the commander’s chair. The bridge’s lights were dimmed, the only illumination coming from the bright field of stars outside.

“Are you suggesting that we abandon the search, that we slink away because it’s just all too hard?” His words were harsh, but he was not going to apologise.

“No, I am not,” Tuvok answered in his usual calm tone of voice. “However, the number of ship’s systems experiencing sudden drops in power is growing every day, the warp core engines are close to non-functional, and we are still short on dilithium.”

“I know all that, Tuvok. What's your point?”

“It seems to me that you are considering when you will need to make the decision to continue on our long-term course to the Alpha quadrant.”

Chakotay leaned into Tuvok’s personal space. The Vulcan blinked. Chakotay perversely felt better at the man’s unease and almost immediately regretted his childish behaviour. “And you think that time is close?” he asked, taking a step back.

“No, but I am not blind to your concern about the Captain’s orders.”

Chakotay turned away. He should have expected Janeway to have sent a copy of her latest orders to the ship's Chief of Security. He had been willing himself to ignore them, to erase them from his logs since they had appeared on his personal console. _If I go missing for more than a week, do not wait for me. Continue your journey. Do not look for me. Get Voyager home._

He had checked the recorded date. Kathryn had written that order a couple of days after escaping from the Void. Obviously, his little mutiny to prevent her self-sacrifice had only served to make her more determined to do so at a future occasion. Those were the words of a woman still close to despair, blaming herself for the crew’s demise and keen for redemption at any cost to herself.

“There were three other crew members on that shuttle. We cannot abandon the search yet,” he said.

“Indeed, Commander. The captain’s order obviously does not apply in these particular circumstances. We can, and should, spend as much time as we deem necessary searching for them. It is what she would have done after all.”

Chakotay found himself silently thanking Tuvok for his support. He dropped back in his chair, his eyes drawn back to the stars outside. They had a few days before the ship’s systems went critical, according to B’Elanna. They would get Kathryn back home before they had to leave.

He had to believe that.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In an [interview](https://josephmallozzi.com/2009/03/30/march-30-2009-amanda-tapping-answers-your-questions/), Amanda Tapping talked about how she had encountered sexism in her acting career and was called ‘the chick’ at times.


	7. Obstacles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Previously:**   
>  _Sam and Kathryn bonded at Sam's house over very similar personal histories and a few bottles of wine. While Sam imagined a future she would never see, Kathryn dreamed of an Earth she might never reach. Meanwhile, Chakotay became more determined to find Kathryn, whenever and whenever she might be._

* * *

**Obstacles**

Janeway clasped the neatly folded flag tight against her chest with one hand. She was grateful the three members of her team had been included in the memorial ceremony. Although their ranks and origin had not been mentioned, their names had been added to the long list of casualties suffered by the SGC during the attack on the Alpha site. It brought to her the heavy price those people paid for the defence of Earth against the Goa'uld.

She pushed away her persistent nausea and stood at attention as the wreath disappeared into the stargate, on its way to the planet where so many had died. The blue shadows of the event horizon vanished, and the crowd soon split into small groups, talking away in subdued tones.

Eager to return to the lab, Janeway looked around the room for Sam. Given her ambiguous position at the SGC—a guest at most—she always made sure not to take her access to Carter’s lab for granted. Besides, she appreciated the help and it felt good to be able to bounce ideas at somebody who was so enthusiastic and knowledgeable. It made her unexpected exile from _Voyager_ more bearable.

Sam was talking to an older man dressed in a muted-tone tunic who fitted amid the uniformed military staff as if he rightly belonged among them. The younger woman waved at Kathryn to join her. “Captain Kathryn Janeway, please meet my father, Jacob Carter.”

Kathryn slid the flag into the sling supporting her left arm, and shook the man’s hand.

“I am glad to finally meet you, Captain,” Carter senior said, his handshake firm. “I have wanted to thank you to help save my daughter's life for some days now, but I did not come back to the SGC until this morning.”

His face was lined and his eyes deeply set but smiling, and Kathryn warmed to him. “Major Carter had saved my life only a few minutes before. I was only returning the favour, General.”

“Please, call me Jacob. I am not a General anymore.”

Jacob lowered his eyes. When he raised them again, somebody else’s soul and voice talked through him. “The members of the Tok’ra High Council whom I represent here are also grateful for your assistance in ensuring that the only effective weapon against the Kull supersoldiers escaped Anubis.”

Janeway forgot to close her mouth.

“I am sorry,” Sam said, grinning. “This is Selmak of the Tok'ra. She and my father share the same body.”

“I am honoured to meet you, Selmak,” Janeway said, remembering to speak. What other surprises was this world going to throw at her? “Who are the Tok’ra?” she asked to mask her bewilderment.

Janeway listened with fascination to how the Tok’ra had been fighting their brethren Goa'uld for many hundreds of years, and how an alliance spearheaded by the SGC had opened up new opportunities to combat their common enemy, and created new problems. For a world which was just starting to explore what lay beyond its own atmosphere, it had become embroiled very quickly in a millennia-old galaxy-wide war.

“I understand there are no Goa'uld in your universe?” Selmak’s deep voice sounded off-worldly but in no way threatening.

“As far as I know,” Janeway said. “There’re many dozens of sentient races in what we call the Alpha quadrant and many more in the rest of the galaxy, some very much hostile, but I have never heard of a species of beings with god-like aspirations.” A shiver run through her at the thought. Apart from the Caretaker who had acted like one out of remorse, neither the Borg nor Species 8472 had ever pretended to be gods, and Q were too arrogant and too easily bored to be interested in subjugating an entire species to their will.

“Although it means that the Tok’ra don’t exist in your world either, it’s good to know there are universes which have not tasted the yoke of the Goa'uld. I hope the Tau’ri will be wise enough to leave those worlds alone,” Selmak said, giving Sam a knowing look.

Selmak dipped his head, and Jacob smiled back at Janeway. “You’ll have to excuse my symbiote. Her people find humans, or the Tau’ri as we are known, reckless at times, especially when we use technology beyond our comprehension. I find myself agreeing more and more with her.”

Sam rolled her eyes at her father’s words, and the conversation moved to a less controversial subject. To Janeway’s disappointment, Carter senior was soon called away. He excused himself, leaving the women alone.

“Your father seems comfortable straddling two worlds,” Janeway commented, still awed by the conversation with the two people inhabiting the one body. One a human, a military man, a father; the other? If she was honest with herself, she was still not sure whom she had been talking to.

“It’s a long story, but he and Selmak have become respected mediators between the Tau’ri and the Tok’ra. We are lucky to have both of them working so well together. Having a symbiote, even a friendly one, is not easy to deal with.”

Janeway thought Sam was going to elaborate, but the woman just frowned, her gaze following her father who was in deep conversation with General Hammond.

“I’ve got a theory about what’s happening with the shuttle engines. I’d like to go back to the Alpha site today if possible,” Janeway said, not willing to probe any further in what seems to be a difficult topic for Sam.

“That shouldn’t be a problem. But first, we’ll need to get changed,” Sam said.

Janeway nodded. She wore the same dark blue dress and jacket as the major. Like most of the military attendees to the sombre memorial ceremony, the taller woman also bore military decorations on her chest, evidence of her distinguished service to this world. In contrast, Janeway felt oddly naked.

Walking side by side, they weaved their way through the thinning crowd and took the lift up to Level 25. “I’ll come and get you in five minutes. We can discuss your idea on our way to the gate,” Sam said, disappearing down the corridor.

Janeway entered her VIP quarters, put the triangular folded flag on the small table and went straight to the bathroom. She dry-heaved in the basin before sitting down on the cold floor, leaning the back of her head against the tiled wall. She had been sick almost every day since arriving on this world, but this time she put the blame for her nausea squarely on the three bottles of Californian wine she and Sam had demolished the previous evening. Dr Fraiser had peered at her with a knowing look during her medical in the morning. She had said nothing, though. Janeway was beginning to like the dedicated but discreet SGC doctor.

She pushed herself up and gargled water to get rid of the bitter taste in her mouth, before swallowing a couple of pain killers. With a bit of luck, the shuttle capacitors were charged by now, thanks to the large generator Sam had jury-rigged the day before to power the shuttle.

Returning to the bedroom, she changed into the battle dress uniform she’d worn for the past few days. She carefully threaded her left arm into the tank top and jacket, before putting the sling back on.

As she left her quarters, a young woman stepped in front of her. “General Hammond would like to see you now, Ma'am.” The airwoman accompanied Janeway the whole way to the briefing room, leaving her no choice but to follow.

**###**

“General, you called for me?”

“Yes, Captain Janeway. Thank you for coming. Please take a seat.” Hammond’s rounded face was flushed, disclosing none of the kindness he had shown her during the memorial ceremony. He nodded curtly at the only other person in the room, a large man bearing markedly fewer decorations than he was. “This is—”

“Colonel Johnson, Ma’am. From the Pentagon.” The man lunged at her from across the table, his hand held out.

Janeway retrieved her fingers without flinching at his vice-like grip. She found herself instantly disliking the man. “The Pentagon? Wasn't it once the military headquarters of the former United States of America?”

Johnson stood back and tugged at his uniform. “Yes, well, on this world we prefer to be known as the Department of Defense, and there’s nothing ‘former’ about this country.”

The General coughed. “Colonel Johnson has orders to transfer you to the Pentagon for interrogation.”

“With all due respect, General, you are misquoting me,” the man said. “We just have some questions to ask about the various pieces of equipment you brought with you. We are very interested in how your technology could help us strengthen our defence capabilities.”

The man smiled widely as he talked. Janeway was reminded of a Ferengi on the scent of a lucrative deal. She lifted an eyebrow. “I thought I made it very clear that I can't allow anybody to access the technology I possess.”

“And so I explained to the colonel. In detail,” General Hammond said, his jaw tense. She could empathise with his obvious aversion for the man.

“But you are a scientist, aren’t you? Why not share what you know with us? Isn’t that what a scientist does?”

“I am a scientist,” Janeway conceded. How much did the man know about her? Probably a lot if Hammond’s simmering silence was an indication. “However, I am bound not to divulge knowledge of advanced technology to worlds that are not ready to receive it.”

“If you don’t mind me saying, that sounds very patronising. We do know how to handle alien high tech.”

Janeway remembered Selmak’s warning. Not all Tau’ri would be as respectful of her wishes as the SGC commander. “It was not my intention to insult the achievements of your world, Colonel. However, the principles I follow do not allow me to pick and choose who I can give my technology to.” She could see the cogs turning in the man’s mind as his smile disappeared.

“Surely," he said, "you can see the need we have to defend ourselves. To defend this Earth. Are we so different from you that you cannot extend us the benefit of your expertise?”

And there lay the crux of the matter. Who was she to judge if a society which had already done so much with alien technology could not handle something developed by people who were, for all practical purposes, their descendants?

The Prime Directive was more than patronising; it implied that some societies were not considered worthy enough. It belittled the advancement of those cultures which developed along a different path. As if the almighty Federation was the only yardstick against which to measure a society's values. And yet, that rule had been developed over more than three hundred years of space exploration and first contacts. It continued to be upheld because ignoring it had too often led to cultural obliteration through assimilation, if not plain genocide. It was a very rough yardstick, but one she could not afford to ignore.

“Believe me, I know what it feels to be on the wrong end of this particular argument, but there are very good reasons to not loosen that rule.”

Even if the specifics of the Prime Directive hardly applied here, God knows what the consequences of merging technologies from different universes would lead to. She had no right to play around with that most fundamental of principles. She had done enough damage trampling Starfleet regulations to help _Voyager_ and its crew survive in the Delta quadrant; she would never forgive herself if she messed with an entire universe just to get out of a tight spot.

Not that it would matter much at the end if her hypothesis was correct.

Johnson examined his fingers. “I would like to remind you that you are only a guest here. Your rules do not apply on this world, but ours do.”

Before she had the time to throw back a sharp repartee, Sam Carter and Janet Fraiser burst out the stairs, O’Neill and Teal’c close on their heels. “General! We’ve just heard.”

“Please join us,” Hammond said with a sigh, showing them the seats.

Janet sat beside Janeway, her face all serious. Sam, O’Neill, and Teal’c took the seats on her left, in effect leaving the Pentagon man sitting alone across the briefing table. As much as Janeway would have preferred to deal with Johnson by herself, she felt boosted by SG-1 support.

“I see news travels fast in this facility, General,” the colonel said. “I must say that I am less than impressed. This is another reason to move Janeway off this base as soon as possible. Too many possible leaks.”

“It’s Captain Janeway, actually. Colonel…?” O’Neill said with an uptilt in his voice.

“Colonel Johnson. Pentagon.”

“Do they make clones out of you guys in Washington? Kennedy a few years back. Who’s next? Dear old Nixon?” O’Neill’s smile did not waver.

“General, I won’t stand here to be insulted. Given Janeway's lack of cooperation, I want her placed into custody while I finish my information-gathering mission here.”

Hammond leaned over, his hands flat on the tabletop. “As you said yourself, the captain is a guest of my facility. I will not have her put in a holding cell.”

“I object, General. I must—"

“Captain Janeway is in no shape to travel,” Dr Fraiser interrupted.

“What?” said Johnson and Janeway at the same time.

What was Janet talking about? Admittedly, she was not feeling well, her shoulder still bothersome, but she needed to return to the shuttle to confirm her growing suspicions she was forever stuck in the wrong universe.

Johnson gave Fraiser a menacing glare. “I don’t know what you are up to, but if this is a trick to keep Janeway here—”

“I believe the captain should not be exposed to crowds which might harbour diseases her immune system is not adapted to,” the doctor said, her voice firm.

Janeway breathed a sigh of relief. Crowds were the least of her problems. She’d just shaken hands with half of the SGC before the memorial, and Janet had not objected.

“Explain,” Hammond said, settling back in his chair.

“General, this is intolerable. This is just a ploy by your people to—"

Hammond pinned the Pentagon man with a cold stare. “Dr Fraiser is the Chief Medical Officer at the SGC. We will listen to what she has to say.”

“Thank you, sir.” The woman stood. “The blood samples I have taken from the captain since she arrived here show a gradual decrease in white blood cell count, and her shoulder wound is not healing as fast as it should be. These are classic symptoms of an immune system disorder, making her more liable to catch infections, especially from people outside the SGC. It’s all in my report and—”

Johnson waived his hand. “I am sure our own medical staff will assess your report with due care, Doctor. Now let’s get on with my purpose here.”

Fraiser opened her mouth to interrupt, but Hammond shook his head. She sat down, her lips drawn tight.

“Yes, tell us all about why you're here,” O’Neill asked, fiddling with a pen.

“My orders are to move Janeway to Washington and ask her a few questions about that small spaceship of hers and the energy weapons mentioned in the report the General sent to High Command. I will take those weapons with me so they can be properly examined.”

“Why not let us continue to do that here instead?” Carter retorted, obviously looking for time. “After all, you’ll need to go through the stargate to access the shuttle.”

“That won’t be necessary. We’ll send the _Prometheus_ to pick it up. In a few days, the shuttle will be safely stored in Area 51.”

Janeway could not believe what she was hearing. These people had a ship which could reach the Delta quadrant in a matter of days? What kind of technology could beat Starfleet warp drive hands down? Maybe it was her universe which was the one still struggling in the stone age. She filed the information away, promising herself to ask Sam what that ship was all about.

Carter faced Hammond, eyes wide. “Can they do that, sir?”

“I am afraid so, Major. The _Prometheus_ doesn’t belong to the SGC.”

“That would be a mistake,” Janeway said.

“I am sorry?” Johnson's face turned a shade of red.

“The shuttle’s energy source is unstable, and we still don’t know why. Moving the shuttle to Earth is too risky.” Not quite a lie, all things considered.

“I concur,” Carter said, playing along. “See, Colonel, the captain is not only from the future but from a different universe. We've been looking into what is causing the—”

“I am quite aware of this woman’s origin, Major Carter, and I look forward to reading your preliminary findings after our people take over. Or are you implying you are the only authority in the US military on multiverse theory?”

“No, of course not.” Carter clenched and unclenched her jaw.

Johnson continued, unapologetic. “I’ve done my homework as you can see, and your little charades will not prevent me from carrying out my orders. Janeway will come with me to Washington with or without your cooperation.” He stared at each one of his interlocutors in turn. “I don’t need to remind you that she is a non-citizen on this planet."

O’Neill dropped his pen with a flourish. “There we go again. Kennedy tried that song and dance with Teal’c when he first arrived on Earth. Then it was Maybourne with the Tollan. They were arrogant bastards, I give you that, but he had no right to want to imprison them. You didn’t get your hands on any of them at the end, so why don’t you go and find somebody else to bully around.”

“The Tollan got away thanks to you and some voodoo stuff typical of those advanced species you seem to like so much. As for Teal’c, his strategic importance was limited,” Johnson said. “No offence,” he added with a quick glance at the hard-faced man.

Teal’c tilted his head towards him. “None taken, Colonel Johnson.” He resumed looking straight ahead. “Yet.”

Janeway refrained a chuckle. She had become quite fond of the Jaffa, relating to his silence, dry humour and obvious skills, but she did not want to get him or anybody else from the SGC in trouble. Given General Hammond’s dour expression, Johnson’s orders clearly trumped his authority.

“This woman has knowledge and technology which could not only enable us to combat the Goa'uld but also expand our own space program. The Stargate system is too restrictive, and the cost of the _Daedalus_ warship program is astronomical. We need to research alternatives and prepare for when the galaxy is free of the threat of the Goa’uld. This shuttle of hers is a good start, and I am surprised you, of all people, would refuse to take advantage of the situation.”

O’Neill lifted his eyes. “To do what? Explore the galaxy, or colonise it?”

“General, I am not here to explain Pentagon’s long term strategic plans. I expect Janeway to be ready to depart from this facility tomorrow morning.” Johnson stood, tapping his finger on the table. “And if you try to obstruct me, please remember that none of you is indispensable to the Stargate program.”

“I’ll go,” Janeway said before anybody had the chance to get into more trouble with Johnson. She knew the ilk of him. As much as he was a pompous man and acted like he owned the place, he was just the messenger. His orders came from far above. “General, you and your teams are all doing much too valuable work here defending Earth. I am a distraction and a hindrance. I’ll go with Colonel Johnson.”

The man was almost prancing. “Good, good. A voice of reason at last. I want to see you ready to go at oh-eight-hundred hours. And General?”

“Colonel?” Hammond’s tone was just about glacial.

“Make sure Janeway is ready on time. My superiors won’t be too pleased if she goes missing under your watch.”

The man left the room, all those present seething as the door closed behind him.

“General, we can't let them do that,” Carter pleaded.

Hammond leaned on his elbows, apologising with a shake of his head. “My hands are tied, Major. I’ve already checked with the President, and he’s confirmed Johnson’s orders. The withdrawal of the free Jaffa and more importantly of the Tok’ra from our side has rattled Washington. The Pentagon people want something, anything, which will help Earth defend itself without having to rely anymore on what they see as shaky and one-sided alliances. And you’ve heard the man. They are already thinking past the Goa’uld.”

“What will happen if they crack your shuttle wide open?” O’Neill asked, always the pragmatic man.

Janeway allowed herself a wry smile. “Not to belabour the point, Colonel O’Neill, but I have more than three hundred years head start in computer science over whatever the Pentagon can throw at the shuttle. And I’ve got another ace up my sleeve. I assume you’ve never met the Borg?”

She looked into a sea of blank stares. “No, I didn’t think so. Let’s just say that I have one on my crew who is very good at designing security algorithms. Once the Pentagon realises they can’t access any of the systems, they’ll have no choice but to let me go.”

O’Neill gave her a sceptical look but said nothing.

“Requesting permission to go back to the Alpha site, General.” Janeway stood, still feeling light-headed. “I need to check something which might render Colonel Johnson’s mission null and void.”

“Doctor? Is the captain well enough to travel through the gate?” Hammond asked.

“I don’t think there is a problem, if she does not exert herself.” Fraiser turned to face Janeway. “I’ll give you an injection to boost your immune system before you go,” she said, looking at her with the same stern glare as _Voyager_ ’s EMH. She knew her charge was not keen on jabs.

“Teal’c, Major Carter, you’ve got the green light to go with the captain to the Alpha site. Jack, in my office. Let's see how many favours we can ask from the Pentagon between the two of us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated, in a very small way, to Carmen Antimo Argenziano (1943 – February 10, 2019) who played the well-liked character of Jacob Carter.


	8. Under Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Previously:**   
>  _While attending the SGC memorial ceremony for the Alpha site fallen, Janeway met Sam’s father, Jacob Carter, and Selmak, his Tok’ra symbiote. After the ceremony, an obnoxious representative from the Pentagon intervened, announcing he would take her away to Washington for questioning the following day despite Dr Fraiser's protests Janeway was too ill to travel. Hammond did allow her to go back to the Alpha site for the last time, so she could test a hypothesis which would explain why her shuttle and phasers were still not working._

* * *

**Under Attack**

The open cargo door let in some light and the low probing hum from the generator. Sam could just about make out Teal’c waiting patiently outside for the two women to finish their work. Only a few blinking lights illuminated the interior space.

Dropping carefully onto her knees, Sam checked the jury-rigged connections. “Half of the consoles are still not working.” She had hoped the portable generator would be large enough to power up some of the shuttle systems, but it had been a long shot admittedly.

She was all too aware these were the last hours she was going to spend working closely with Kathryn. Janeway was a breath of fresh air compared with some of the scientists she had to endure, a certain Rodney McKay included. In only a few days, Sam had grown fond of Kathryn’s crooked smile and sheer intensity of being. She might not agree with the woman'srefusal to lend the SGC full access to her technology, but it was difficult not to admire her pure grit and grace under enormous pressure.

“What’s that idea of yours you wanted to check?” Sam asked. If only Janeway was not also stubborn to the extreme. After their confrontation with Johnson, she had only wanted to talk about the _Prometheus_ , refusing to discuss her permanent move to Washington the following morning.

“Dark energy,” Janeway said, dropping her bag on the floor with a sigh of relief.

"You’ve learned to master dark energy?” That would be the scientific discovery of the millennia, Sam thought.

Kathryn shook her head. Wincing, she took her left arm out of the sling and flexed her hand. “Not quite. What I think is happening is that the engines’ power is leaking into this universe's dark energy field. It would explain the lack of radiation.”

“How is that even possible?”

“I don’t know, but it means that the field will just continue to sap the energy out of the engines until there’s nothing left. The generator can’t keep up.”

“Would explain the exponential decay we are seeing with the phasers,” Sam said. And account for why they hadn’t find where that energy was going.

Kathryn nodded while taking her tricorder and PADD out of the bag. “Exactly. That’s what gave me the idea the source of the problem had to be permeating all of space to affect both the shuttle here and the weapons on Earth. There must be a quantum phase variance between the dark energy field density in my universe and this one. It must be minute otherwise the shuttle would have just vanished when making the jump, and I wouldn't be here now.”

The woman was talking about being obliterated in an instant as if she was used to being at the mercy of random and devastating forces. It was disconcerting to find somebody so jaded about her own fate. “So, the Pentagon won’t get much out of the shuttle after all,” Sam said. “That’s what you meant when you said Johnson’s mission might be for nothing.”

Sam was so angry at the man. If there was one thing she hated more than anything, except maybe for the Goa’uld, was the Pentagon meddling with SGC business for no good reasons. It rarely ended well.

“By the time your ship picks up the shuttle, I doubt there’ll be enough energy left to power a candle. Whatever we are pushing into the capacitors is dissipating almost as quickly now.”

“But the Pentagon will still want you,” Sam argued. “They won’t stop until you tell them all you know. They won’t let you go.” Carter knew too well how people could ‘disappear’ into the black hole that was the US Government and some of its ‘research’ institutes.

Janeway looked at her with resignation on her face. “I am well aware of that.”

“Then why don’t you work on sending a message to your ship instead? Let them know your position. Somehow,” Sam said at a loss. It’s not like she knew how to do that, of course. Dark energy had been hypothesised by Einstein early in his career, but only proven to exist in the late 1990s. While Sam had kept pace with the research findings, she was no expert.

Janeway threw one arm in the air, her voice rising as quickly. “Don’t you think I haven’t thought again and again of a way to do this since I’ve been here? If only to tell them to resume their course to the Alpha quadrant before they spend too much time looking for me? It doesn’t work like that. The quantum phase variance is not something you can modulate at will.”

“You’ve known all along,” Sam’s tone sounded more accusatory than she wanted it to be. It was hardly Janeway’s fault if she was stuck here.

Kathryn’s chin dipped. “Not at first. But the more you explained what happened to SG-1 when you went across timelines, the more I realised returning to my ship was never going to happen short of a miracle. I’ve exhausted all avenues I can think of.”

“So, what now? You are giving up?” Sam flinched the moment the words left her lips, but Janeway did not even react to the taunt. Instead the woman briefly closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“The shuttle and the phasers will very soon be completely inoperable because of the energy drain. All your people will ever learn is that there is an unstable isotope of naquadria originating from a different universe. An isotope you can’t use for anything.” Janeway waved at the shuttle which suddenly looked more a prison to Sam than a way out. “I suspect the reverse is also true. _Prometheus_ ’ naquadria reactor will not work back where I come from. Nothing originating from one universe can exist in a different one for long without consequences. You said it yourself.”

Kathryn was covering all bases, her reasoning flawless. Sam was reminded of the universe her alternative self had originated from, similar and yet with enough differences to make it an alien world. One where survival was not guaranteed for long.

And then she grasped what the woman was not telling her. “It’s not just the shuttle and the weapons which are impacted by the energy drain. You are not getting any better, are you? It's affecting you too.”

Janeway gave her a weak smile and returned to her task, leaving Sam deeply troubled about what was to become of Kathryn Janeway in a world that was growing more and more hostile towards her.

**###**

“Colonel Johnson.” Teal’c's voice from outside the shuttle rang loud enough to be heard from the front of the shuttle, as he had no doubt intended.

Janeway kept her eyes on the tricorder plugged into the sensor array under the navigation console. Whichever way she modified the sensors, they were just not powerful enough to pick up the infinitesimal differences between the dark energy field constants of the two universes. Not that the energy drain helped by reducing the effectiveness of the sensors. If she was on _Voyager_ …

“SG-3, put this Jaffa under arrest for disobeying my order to stand aside,” a male voice echoed.

If she had stayed on _Voyager_ , none of this universe-hopping would have happened in the first place. Chakotay was right. The captain’s place was on the bridge, not trying to find a way to upset the physical laws of the multiverse.

“Major Carter, I thought I made it clear that Janeway was to stay at the base. Where’s she?”

Some sort of interference was causing the signal to drop off randomly, adding to Janeway’s frustration. Unlikely to be the atmosphere, but she had no way of checking without going back in space. And that was not going to happen soon, if Johnson and his puppet masters had their way.

“You never said the captain couldn’t—".

Janeway cursed the man. He was not going to give her the time she needed to reroute more power to the sensor array.

“Out of my way, Major!”

Carter let out a grunt of pain. Before Kathryn could come to her aid, Johnson had already pushed the younger woman in the back seats of the cockpit and was bearing down towards the helm.

“Janeway,” he shouted, hauling her to her feet by the arm. “You are under arrest for trespassing on the property of the US Department of Defense. You will go back immediately to the SGC under SG-3 escort. Do I make myself clear?”

“Colonel, you have no idea what you’re doing.” Janeway kept her voice steady despite the waves of agony radiating from her shoulder. Behind Johnson, Sam rose from between the seats, holding her leg and grimacing in pain. The man was no better than a Kazon, and about as thick. There was no point trying to reason with him.

She dropped the tricorder in the bag, but Johnson did not even let her pick it up. Instead he kept his grip on her upper arm and pushed her before Carter who mouthed _sorry_ as they walked past.

“Stop taking us for ignorant savages,” Johnson hissed in Janeway's ear.

Behind him, Sam's radio roared to life. _~Goa'uld gliders landing over the ridge.~_

“That was SG-3.” Sam hobbled past by Johnson and threw her zat weapon to Janeway. “Press the switch at the bottom and fire. Once to disable, twice to kill. I’ll cover you from the tree line.” She disappeared into the daylight, readying her P-90 gun.

Through the open cargo bay door, Janeway could see the SG-3 team taking position between the ridge and the shuttle, energy discharges zapping the surrounding rocks. She knew their position was indefensible. They had to retreat to the gate. But she could not run the risk of the shuttle falling into Goa’uld hands. “Computer, initiate the self-destruct sequence. Authorisation Janeway pi one one zero. Set it at five minutes.” There should be enough dilithium left in the engines for a runaway explosion.

~ _Self-destruct authorisation accepted._ ~

“Belay that order!” Johnson shoved Janeway against the opposite wall and drew his gun. “Close the door. We’ll be safe if we stay here.”

“What? What about the SG team outside? They are hopelessly outnumbered. We can’t just abandon them.”

Johnson’s eyes flitted to the shuttle door, beads of sweat appearing on his forehead. “Their duty is to protect the shuttle. We’ll wait here until the danger’s gone.”

“Are you sure it’s not your own skin you want to protect rather, Colonel?” Janeway asked, not hiding her disgust.

~ _Warning. Four minutes to self-destruct_ ~

“Cancel that order and close the door!” Johnson waved his gun in the air as a stray energy beam hit the back wall.

“We don’t have time for this.” Following Sam’s instructions, Janeway pressed the switch of the strange weapon which deployed like a snake ready to strike. A jagged blue ray hit the man in the chest. _Neat_ , she thought as he collapsed on the deck.

Ignoring her pounding shoulder, she seized the unconscious man by the back of his collar to drag him out when Teal’c entered the cargo bay.

“Get him to safety,” Janeway said.

 _~Three minutes to self-destruct_ ~

“Captain, you too must leave now.”

She ignored Teal’c’s call and darted back in the cockpit. With two minutes to spare, she was out again and running through the trees, the tricorder safely attached to her belt. Sam fell in step with her. “We can’t secure the shuttle,” she shouted over the noise of automatic firearms and Goa’uld staff weapons.

“No need. It’s going to blow. We’ve got to take cover,” Janeway answered back.

“This way.” Carter signalled the rest of the company to join them as she took a sharp left turn and dived into a large ditch. Teal’c threw Johnson on the ground like a bag of leola roots. Janeway slid beside the unconscious man, the alien weapon in her hand.

When she peered over the ledge, the Goa'uld were entering the shuttle.

 


	9. End of the Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Previously:**   
>  _Janeway's last visit to the Alpha site ended up in disaster, as she was forced to destroy her shuttle when the Goa’uld attacked. She did confirm however that there was no way for her to get back to where she truly belonged._

* * *

**End of the Road**

The driver swore as a large military truck suddenly emerged from the heavy rain, forcing the car onto the gravel shoulder. The bumpy ride jarred Sam out of her daze. The adrenaline rush from the Goa’uld attack and the shuttle explosion had ebbed since the hasty return to the SGC, and she’d been dozing on and off on her way back her house.

She stared at the night outside, the dark trees closing over the road. Janeway was asleep in the back of the car, pumped with enough painkillers to anesthetise a Goa'uld army. Sam had rarely seen Janet so angry when the doctor had seen the damage Johnson had caused to both Janeway and herself. Hammond had put the Pentagon man on report for cowardice under fire, and it was good riddance to bad rubbish in Sam’s opinion. The man was a bully and a disgrace to the uniform. How he had managed to rise to the rank of colonel was a mystery to her.

But his behaviour did not excuse her own failings.

O’Neill had said nothing during the short debriefing and that was as good an indictment in her mind. She’d let her guard down. It was only luck that had seen Johnson pursuing Janeway with an SGC team in tow. Without them, it could have been the end of half of SG-1, with technology from the future falling into Goa’uld hands. Only SG-3 support and Janeway's clear thinking in blowing up her only potential way back home had saved the day.

She glanced back at Janeway, the cold street lights flashing over the woman’s pale freckles as the car reached the town. Now that the shuttle had been destroyed and the cause of the weapon power drain was known, the Pentagon was much less interested in the captain and had postponed her departure for Washington. Still, Sam could not help thinking there had to be a way to reverse the events which had gotten the woman into this mess. But Janeway was the one with the knowledge, and if she said it couldn’t be done, maybe it wasn’t meant to be.

The car stopped in front of the house, and Sam thanked the driver for the lift from the SGC. Janeway stirred, stepped out and then trudged up the garden path, waiting by the front door. Sam followed more slowly, her leg stiff. Dropping her uniform jacket in the kitchen, she meant to ask Kathryn what she would like to have for dinner, but the other woman was already down the corridor. She closed the door of her bedroom without saying a word.

Sam had no idea what to say to the woman whose future had now come to a screeching halt. Instead, she walked to the bathroom and put the shower on to heat up the water. Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, she carefully slid her trousers down, uncovering a bandage which was clearly not waterproof. She padded to the kitchen and rummaged in the drawers until she found a roll of cling wrap. Back in the bathroom, she finished undressing, then rolled out a length of the thin plastic sheet. The steam from the hot water made it slippery even after she turned off the shower. After a few tries that ended it in a pile of crunched up plastic, she threw the box at the mirror in disgust.

“Shit,” she cried, her leg throbbing. Even taking a simple shower was too much for her to handle right now.

A knock at the door made her jump. She grabbed a towel and held it to her chest with one hand. “What is it?”

“You’re alright? I heard a bang.”

“Wanted to wrap my leg, so the bandage wouldn’t get wet. I can’t seem to even manage that,” Sam said. Didn’t she sound pathetic now.

“I can help,” Janeway said through the door. ‘If you want,” she added.

Sam hesitated. She did want to wash away all the Johnsons, Goa’ulds and explosions of this world, if only for one evening. Biting her lip, she nodded. “Yes, please.”

Janeway opened the door but stayed on the threshold, as if waiting for further permission. She had discarded her BDU shirt, the thin straps of the black tank top not hiding the ashen tendrils spreading to her chest from her injured shoulder.

“Do you want me to sit down?” Sam asked, her eyes downcast. She did not quite know what to do with herself. She had no problems showing a bit of skin while getting changed in front of her team mates in the SGC locker room, but the presence of the other woman made her self-conscious of the scars she had collected over the years.

“I think it will be easier if you are standing up, actually,” Janeway said in a manner-of-fact tone, stepping inside the room. She pushed the towel away from Sam’s upper leg, curling her lips at the angry wound. “Put your fingers on the edge of the plastic. I’ll wrap my end around the other way. When I tell you, lift your hand.”

Cold fingers touched Sam’s skin without lingering as the plastic sheet stretched. The sensation of being wrapped like a leg of mutton was odd but not unpleasant.

Janeway ripped the end of the sheet with her good hand and got back to her feet. “There, you should be okay now. I’ll leave you to it. Let me know if you need help to get the binding off.” Kathryn stared at the bathtub, looking like she could melt into it. Then she turned to leave the small steamy room.

Sam saw the hunched back and sharply-defined shoulder blades poking from underneath the tank top. The woman was alone in a universe which was bent on killing her, but apart from the evening before when they’d been looking at the familiar stars of Earth’s night sky, Janeway had never let a word of self-pity leave her lips. Instead, she had heard somebody was hurting and she had come to her aid.

“Feel free to run yourself a bath when I finish," Sam said. "There’s some bath salts on the shelf. I’ll find something for you to wear too. You must be tired of military-issued clothing.” Tomorrow, she would see what else she could do for Kathryn. She wasn’t a ‘guest’ to be moved around at the will of others. Kathryn was a friend and she deserved a break.

**###**

Sam was putting a T-shirt and track pants on Kathryn’s bed when the front door chimed. She gestured to Kathryn who was using the hair dryer in the bathroom across the corridor, towel firmly stuck under the armpits. “Your clothes,” she mouthed over the noise. Janeway nodded.

Pete must have cut short his stay in Denver, Sam thought as she walked down towards the front door. She wished her boyfriend had phoned rather than wanting to surprise her. This was her house after all, not his. Lately, he’d been acted like he was further ahead in their relationship than she was comfortable with. And how was she going to explain Kathryn’s presence? She knew too well how Pete’s cop mind never stopped. It wouldn’t take him long to sense something was off about Janeway.

She opened the door, ready to fend off her late visitor.

O’Neill was leaning against the white pillar supporting the portico. “We brought food,” he announced, lifting a bag. “Thought you wouldn’t mind Chinese takeaway for a change. We got it all: garlic prawns, wontons, rice noodles. You name it.”

Sam did not move. Jack rarely visited. In fact, he seemed to make it a rule not to come to her house, now she thought about it.

“Maybe you would prefer to be left alone, Major Carter.” Teal’c came out of the shadows, a beanie hiding his forehead tattoo. He was holding two large brown bags. Trust him and the colonel to bring enough to feed a small army. A pity Daniel was still at the Beta site, trying to placate the proud Jaffa faction.

Shaking off her surprise, Sam moved out of the way to let the two men in. Finding the colonel on her doorstep was somewhat awkward, and she was thankful Teal’c was also there. “No, no, come in. The captain is here too. We got a lift from one of the Stargate technicians.”

“I know,” O’Neill said, putting the bags on the kitchen counter. “Tried to find you after the Doc had finished with you, but you two were already gone.” He turned around to face her, his hands in his jacket pockets. “Look, Carter, if you don’t want us to stay, that’s okay. Just wanted to make sure you were both all right.”

He quirked his mouth when a barefoot Kathryn padded in, wearing a T-shirt two sizes too big and tracksuit pants with the legs rolled up. She froze when she saw him.

“Captain,” he said.

“Colonel.”

Her gaze went from O’Neill to Sam who started to feel the warmth of a blush spread to her cheeks. Kathryn’s eyebrow lifted, as well as the corner of her mouth. It was incredible how the woman could be so expressive without opening her lips. She could rivalled the colonel at times.

“There’s cold beer in the fridge,” Sam said, annoyed at the two of them.

**###**

Perched on stools around the kitchen island, they ate and talked about where Johnson, the disgraced Pentagon man, was likely to end up. Sam suggested Antarctica after some prodding from Jack. Teal’c thought the black hole of P3W-451 would be a more appropriate destination, while Kathryn said little. Not surprisingly, O’Neill sided with the Jaffa.

“Any regrets, Captain?” he asked while finishing his beer.

Kathryn tensed. Sam was sure Janeway was not keen to talk about the fate of her shuttle right then.

“About zatting a colonel,” he added quickly, covering his faux-pas.

A crooked smirk came to Kathryn. “None whatsoever.”

“Good, good. Just remember the next time you get the urge to do the same again that I’m on your side.” He opened the fridge and took out another beer bottle.

Teal’c turned on the TV. Kathryn went to sit with him on the couch, sharing a bucket of microwaved popcorn.

“Carter, a word?”

Sam took a deep breath and followed O’Neill to the front porch outside.

“Spit it out, Carter. You’ve been walking around me the whole evening like I’ve chewed your head off.”

“Sir, I wanted to apologise. I messed up today. At the Alpha site.”

“That's not what Reynolds said at the debriefing. As SG-3 commander, he would have told me if you had stuffed up.”

“You did say yourself that the shuttle could become a target. I should have asked for more reinforcements.”

“Hey, Carter. One, we’d received no intel the Goa’uld were still interested in the Alpha site. And two, everybody came back intact. More or less,” he said, waving his bottle at her leg. “So, I would count that as a pretty successful mission, everything considered. At the very least they should be off our backs now there’s nothing left for them to see.”

Sam breathed out. She usually trusted the colonel’s assessment. She decided that was one of those times when she would have to disagree with him, but there wasn’t much point arguing about it.

“How is Janeway holding up?” O’Neill asked, tilting his head towards the house.

“Pretty hard to know what she’s thinking, sir, but her shoulder doesn’t look too good.”

“Yeah, Janet’s worried. She talked to the General about Janeway permanently staying at the SGC now that Johnson’s mission has been called off.”

“I don’t think permanently is going to last for very long, sir. She’s dying.”

“How can you be so sure? She hasn’t told you that, has she?” It was not a question.

“No. Not in so many words.” Sam twirled her bottle in her hands. “The science she’s talking about is way beyond me, but I just wished there was something more I could do.”

“Carter…” O’Neill’s voice sounded a warning.

“Sir?”

“Sometimes, you can’t save everybody. Especially when they don’t want to be saved.”

Something she did not care to analyse flared in her chest. “You didn’t give up on me when the supersoldier was hunting me down. You came after me.”

“That was different,” O’Neill said, digging the tip of his shoe in the gravel below the step.

She gazed at his profile against the porch light. Jack was still the lanky taciturn man she’d first met in the briefing room, all those years ago. A bit greyer, a bit thicker set, but still the same man who would refuse to leave her to die, no matter what.

“Different how?” she asked, her voice almost a whisper.

Jack’s expression hardened as he focused all his attention on his foot. “Just…different. Alright, Major?”

She jerked her head up. “Yes, sir,” was her automatic response.

He was alse her CO. Unattainable. Fraternisation would not do any good to their careers and responsibilities to protect Earth. It was time to move away from that conversation. “Tomorrow, I’ll do some more tests on Janeway’s weapons,” Sam said. “To see how long we’ve got before...” She could not finish the sentence.

“If she lets you.”

Carter nodded. “She isn’t the easiest person to help. Every time I try, she puts up a list of protocols and rules longer than our military code of conduct. It’s maddening.”

“Yes, regulations can be a pain. Don’t we all know that,” O’Neill said in a bitter tone.

Silence grew between them until she heard his quiet laugh.

“You like Janeway, don’t you? I mean, _really_ like her.”

Sam thought of leaving him alone to nurse his beer and fantasies, but she was too tired to move. And she did like the woman a lot, if not quite what the way the Colonel was implying.

“Don’t worry. I won’t say anything to Pete,” O’Neill said with a smirk.

“There’s nothing to tell.” Sam rolled her eyes. She seemed to be doing that a lot in recent times.

“Of course not. It’s not like you’ve spent every single second of your time with her over the past days. Asked her home, helped her wash her hair because I doubt she can do that herself. Had a beer or two together.”

“If I remember well, you basically ordered me to invite her to my house. And it’s wine. She’s not keen on beer.”

“There you go.” Jack’s smile widened. “Anyway, just a piece of advice,” he said as he stood. “Don’t help her with the science. She can take care of that. What you need to do is to let all that complicated stuff flow over you and go back to basics instead. Works for me every time.”

The fly screen door closed behind him, leaving Sam open-mouthed.

**###**

The front door banged, and Kathryn started, having fallen asleep on the couch watching a program called a talk show according to Teal’c. The Jaffa was mesmerised by the small screen, his large hand wreaking havoc on the popcorn.

She got up as O’Neill entered the room looking very happy with himself. Sam followed, a frown on her brow. Seeing his friends back, Teal’c volunteered to clean up but Sam was soon pushing the two men out of the house, stating the long day and late hour, while Kathryn gathered the dirty plates.

The consequences of losing the shuttle were beginning to sink in. She’d held for too long on to the damaged spacecraft like a drowning man clutching at a sinking life raft. Now, she could no longer avoid staring at a very short future, in a universe with no ship, no crew and no CO to carry her through.

She had been a fool to think she’d hit rock bottom when they’d crossed the void, a few weeks before. Selfishly, she’d withdrawn from life, Chakotay’s visits punctuating the long hours spent lamenting a decision made long ago. She had sent him away, brushed off his concerns, left him to shoulder all her responsibilities.

And what had he done? Accepted the burdens of the captaincy without complaint, shielded her from the crew’s frustration about her lack of leadership, saved her from wanting to cross the void alone and losing her mind in the process.

She piled the dishes on the counter. Well, her wish had finally been granted. Here she was, stuck on the wrong Earth, at the end of another one-way trip. Second time lucky after all.

Sam brought in the empty popcorn bowl and loaded the dishwasher. “Kathryn?”

“Yes?”

“Wouldn't your ship continue to look for you? Their sensors are much more powerful than the shuttle, I imagine. They might be able to find out where you are.”

Kathryn let out an internal sigh. She should have known that Sam would not let go. “I doubt the laws of the universe are that different for them. Besides, they’d better be preparing to end their search as per my orders instead of looking for me.”

Sam’s hand stopped in mid-air. “Your orders are to _not_ search for missing crew members?”

Janeway snapped. “Of course not. We are not in the habit of leaving anybody behind if that’s what you are insinuating. It’s just—”

“Don’t tell me. You’ve made an exception for yourself.” Sam’s eyes were wide in disbelief.

Janeway couldn’t cross her arms, so she did the next best thing and glared. “Of course, I did. It’s part of my handover orders. If I’m gone for long without a trace, Chakotay, my 2IC, is to resume course to the Alpha quadrant.” What kind of captain would she be to ask the crew bent on a very long journey home to search for weeks on end for her?

“But there were other people with you in the shuttle. Your second in command, this Chakotay, he would still be looking for them, wouldn’t he?”

Her self-righteousness deflated. She was not thinking straight. How selfish of her to forget so quickly about the three crewmates she had brought to their deaths.

Sam’s stare drilled into her. “Or did you write those orders because you knew Chakotay would never give up on you?”

The counter top bit into the small of Kathryn’s back. “Yes,” she whispered, her fingers tightly wrapped around the broken combadge hanging from her neck. That was exactly what she had been dreaming of all those nights, holding on to the small voice in her mind telling her Chakotay would come back for her.

Hope could be as bright and cruel as the sharp edges she held in her hand.

**###**

“Chakotay, stop hovering. We are doing our best.”

“It’s been four hours, B’Elanna. Don’t tell me you need more time to clean a sensor log.”

“It’s not exactly your normal sub-space data stream. We had to re-route power from the transporter buffers to boost the signal.”

“Last pass,” Harry said. “That’s the best I can do.”

The screen showed a wavy line at the bottom of the graph. Chakotay knew for having stared at it for long enough that that line was the remnant of the chroniton wave which had faded the ship.

“There,” B’Elanna said.

A brief peak shot up, eclipsing the background wave. Chakotay put it on repeat then froze the screen. “It’s much more powerful than the few bumps we’ve seen so far. Where does it come from?”

Seven was standing beside Harry, her fingers gliding over the console. “I can confirm that the signal came from the southern hemisphere of the third planet, quadrant beta-two.”

“Harry, scan the area.”

“Sir, there’s nothing down there you didn’t find during the search you conducted from the planet’s orbit. Just rocks and plant life. No sign of anything which would explain the chroniton wave.”

B’Elanna typed in a few more commands. “I think I know what that peak came from.” She looked up, concern written all over her face. “I am sorry, but I believe it's the shuttle.”

Chakotay felt a wave of hope passing over him. “That is good news. You've found it at last.”

“That's not what I meant. I am detecting evidence of the shuttle energy field overloading. I think it's the time-shifted shadow of the shuttle exploding.”

Only silence greeted her words. All three were looking at him, waiting for his direction. He shook his head in denial. “Or it could be a signal the captain sent us. She could have jury-rigged the engines to explode, and the blast was powerful enough to seep in our timeline.”

B’Elanna rubbed the back of her neck. “With temporal paradoxes, it’s quite possible that what we are seeing happened five hours ago when we recorded it, or three weeks ago when the shuttle first disappeared.”

She glanced at Harry who kept his eyes firmly fixed on his screen. “I mean, I can’t be sure of course. And the energy drain on the ship is not helping. I am getting concerned it’s linked to the same phenomenon. Something in this system is sucking _Voyager_ 's power. If we were to move ten or twelve light-years away…”

“We are not abandoning the captain because a couple of replicators aren’t working,” Chakotay said, his jaw tensing.

“You know the problem is much more extensive than that. If we stay any longer, I can’t guarantee we’ll have enough power to leave.”

“The captain is there, B’Elanna. Down. There. Somewhen.” Chakotay was tapping his finger on the screen. “And she is trying to find a way back home.”

B’Elanna spoke almost in a whisper. “The shuttle’s gone, Chakotay. Even if she was alive, what can she do on an uninhabited planet with not even a speck of dilithium to be found anywhere?”

Echoing the words of another man in another universe, Chakotay let his fists drop at his side, hoping against the better judgement of _Voyager_ ’s Chief Engineer that he was right. “She is alive and she’ll figure it out. She always does.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _For a moment hope, bright and cruel as a knife, presented itself to me. It took every ounce of strength I had to turn away._ C. L. Anderson, Bitter Angels (2009)


	10. The Path Less Travelled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Previously:**   
>  _Back on Earth, Kathryn finally realised she was never going to go back to her own universe and her will to fight her fate collapsed. Meanwhile, Sam went through some hard truths about her relationship, or lack of, with Jack. When Voyager picked up the echo of the shuttle destruction, Chakotay held to his belief that Kathryn was still alive. However, with the ship's power draining away, it was only a matter of time before he had to make the decision to resume course to the Alpha quadrant._

* * *

**The Path Less Travelled**

 

“General, can I talk to you?”

“Major, please come in.”

Intent on gathering support to help Kathryn, Sam sat across Hammond’s desk.

“I received Jacob’s latest report this morning," the man said. "The Tok’ra are digging their heels. I am not sure what will make them come back to the negotiation table.”

“They don’t trust Selmak?”

“Her friendship with Jacob has compromised her standing on the Tok’ra High Council. It’s a worrying development.” Hammond crossed his hands. “But you are not here to discuss the Tok’ra, I imagine. What can I do for you?”

“It’s about Captain Janeway. I know she thinks that there is no escape from her plight, but she purposely blew up her shuttle to avoid it falling in the hands of the Goa’uld.”

“I realise that. While she was in the infirmary yesterday, I expressed my gratitude for her selfless gesture.”

“There must be something more we can do for her, sir.”

“I am afraid we can do very little. Maybe her best chance is to go along with the Pentagon’s demands. They have better medical facilities than we have at the SGC. That might buy her some time.”

“With all due respect, sir, the Pentagon is hardly interested in helping the captain as long as she refuses to tell them what they want to know. I would like to—”

Red lights flashed in the office, and the intercom alert sounded. ~ _ _Incoming traveller__ _. General Hammond to the control room._ ~

“Major, with me.”

When they stepped into the room overlooking the gate, the last chevron locked into place. Sam recognised the origin of the traveller immediately. “It’s the Tok’ra, sir.”

“Open the iris,” Hammond ordered. The armour protecting the stargate opened, and Jacob walked on the metal ramp.

**###**

“Have you made any progress?” Hammond asked once all three seated in the briefing room.

“I don’t think you are going to like it, George.” Jacob lowered his head, and Selmak took his place.

“My compatriots know of the time traveller who walks among you,” Selmak said in the deep Tok’ra voice.

Hammond frowned. “Captain Janeway? How? Oh, I see. The memorial ceremony.”

“We both met the captain and I could hardly keep it a secret. The Tok’ra High Council would like to meet her. We understand that the technology and knowledge she has at her disposal might be of interest to us.”

First the SGC, then the Pentagon and now the Tok’ra. Who was next? Sam asked herself. The Jaffa faction? Kathryn was fast becoming a wanted woman across too many worlds.

“At the risk of sounding petulant, Selmak, her technology is not up for grabs. Believe me, we’ve tried,” Hammond said.

The general was not divulging the loss of the shuttle for reasons Sam did not want to dwell on. Too many secrets and silences, each side keeping some tactical advantage close to their chest to the detriment of openness and true collaboration.

“Maybe the Tau'ri didn't have enough to offer. What could you trade that would interest somebody coming from a much more advanced universe?” Selmak tilted his head. “My apologies, General, these were the words of the High Council, not mine.”

“I understand, but I still don’t see what you could give her in exchange…” Hammond did not finish his sentence and looked at Carter, a hopeful look on his face.

Sam shook her head vigorously. “She won’t accept, sir.”

“We cannot make that decision for her, Major. Please, fetch the Captain and Colonel O’Neill.”

**###**

“Dr Fraiser is not prone to overstating her conclusions, Captain,” the General said. “She is concerned the benefits of the immunity boosters she is giving you won’t last. You are sick, and you will get sicker as time passes if your hypothesis about why your weapons are losing energy is correct.”

“I’m well aware of that,” Janeway said curtly. She didn’t understand why her physical condition was a matter for discussion between the SGC and the Tok'ra.

“If this is the case, we can help you. We can offer you your health back, Captain,” Selmak said.

Jacob took over his symbiote’s voice: “Five years ago, I was dying. I had cancer, lymphoma to be exact. Only had a few days to live, but look at me now.” He flexed his hands. “Even my arthritis is gone. Nasty thing, arthritis.”

Janeway lifted an eyebrow. This sounded too easy. There had to be a catch somewhere.

“It’s not exactly a cure,” Sam said in a low voice, looking down at her hands. Janeway’s misgivings rose.

“Let's not beat around the bush.” O’Neill curled his lips, not hiding his disapproval. “Selmak’s host was dying of old age and Jacob took her place, becoming free of cancer in the process. The Tok’ra symbiote can cure almost anything. That’s how it works.”

Janeway could not help a shudder. She pushed herself upright. “I’m sorry. I had my mind invaded once and I won’t go through that experience again.” She thought she saw a sign of approval on O’Neill’s face.

“The Tok’ra are not Goa’uld even if they share the same ancestry. They don’t snatch anybody’s mind away except in the most dire of circumstances.” Jacob glanced at his daughter who seemed intent on not looking at her. “We live side by side, symbiote and host together.”

“But, if I understand well, a Tok'ra shares the memories and knowledge of the host.”

“True,” said Jacob.

“So, if I was to accept your proposal, my symbiote would know all I know, and would pass on that knowledge to your compatriots.” Even if dilithium did not work in this world, there was so much more these people could take advantage of. The risk was too great.

Jacob nodded, and Selmak replaced him again. “We will not lie to you. That is the trade we offer: your knowledge and expertise to help us fight the Goa’uld in exchange for a long life among us. You will find us a worthy people, Captain.”

Notwithstanding Jacob Carter’s personal motives, it defied belief that a human would even contemplate such a subjugation of their mind. “General, I understand why you thought that I might be…”—another shiver travelled down her spine—“...interested, but my reasons for not sharing my technology have not changed. I cannot and will not let anybody in this universe access my mind.”

Her strength spent, she sat back down. She would need one of Janet’s boosters soon.

Selmak’s voice rose again. “The High Council anticipated such a response given the widespread distaste of the Tau’ri to blending with us. We will leave you more time to reconsider.” She turned to Hammond. “General, may I talk to you in private?”

“SG-1, Captain, you're dismissed,” Hammond said before showing Selmak to his office.

Kathryn slumped deeper in her chair. The Pentagon was off her back for a little while longer, but she sensed neither the Earth authorities nor the Tok’ra were going to give up on her that easily. As long as her guest status at the SGC lasted, all she could do was stall all parties. In three weeks’ time, a month at most, she would be of no value anymore to anybody if Dr Fraiser’s prognosis was correct.

“Captain.”

But what about Chakotay not knowing if she was dead or alive? If it he had been the one to disappear, wouldn’t she prefer to know he was safe and sound even if lost to her? He had already gone through her death once. She could still hear his pain while holding her lifeless body, feel the tremor of his screams through her chest.

“Janeway!”

The truth was…she had killed him every single second of five long years, never letting him close. Never letting him know of her feelings towards him. Even on New Earth, she had not reciprocated his sweet warrior tale. She had let too much time pass. Time she didn’t have anymore.

“Kathryn?”

If only she’d managed to find a way to signal the—

Janeway’s breath hitched, her pulse racing. “There was another wave permeating the energy field I was scanning for in the shuttle. Very faint. I thought it looked familiar.”

She pulled out the tricorder from a pocket, tapped on it before sliding it across the table towards Sam. “There. Doppler-shifted by the space-time distance between the two universes. However one measures that.”

Sam reached for the tricorder and peered at the screen. “What am I looking at?”

“It’s the energy signature of my ship's engines,” Janeway said with a wide smile. She was so going to demote her first officer down to third-class crewman the moment she was back on that bridge. After admonishing him for not following her orders, and watching him pull at his right ear and smile at her with full dimples and--

She sobered up almost instantly. Who was she kidding? All she had seen was the ghost of _Voyager_ ’s energy field. Nothing more. The flicker of a side reality which had gone up in smoke with the shuttle, never to be re-captured again.

“She’s got a ship?” O’Neill asked Carter from the corner of his mouth, not taking his eyes off Janeway.

“It’s called _Voyager_ , sir,” Sam said, her attention focused on the multi-coloured waves on the screen.

“Nice name. Much better than _Prometheus._ Big ship?”

“I believe so.”

“Never mind that.” Janeway waved her hand to dismiss O’Neill’s interruption. The man’s flippancy could be annoying at times.

Sam gave her back the tricorder. “How is that useful? Do you think your ship is in orbit around the Alpha site?”

“As small as its range is, the tricorder would have easily detected _Voyager_ if it had been that close.” Janeway focused on the readings for a few more seconds, caressing the screen. It was _Voyager_ , she had no doubt about that, but she was looking at a far-away mirage distorted by forces she did not understand. She bit her lower lip, rueing her muddled mind. “There’s no way I should be able to detect my ship’s energy field from across another universe. It doesn’t make any sense.”

Sam jumped up and pulled the white board from the corner of the room. “Unless...”

O’Neill put his hands behind his head and pushed against the back of his chair, a look of resignation painted on his face. “Oh, man. Here we go again. The IQ of this base doubles whenever you two start sciencing.”

Seizing a marker, Sam drew two circles on the board. “Unless the two universes have remained linked all that time. The shuttle”—she drew a small square within one of the circles—"was never seeping energy into the dark matter of this universe but feeding that link, keeping it open from this end. And your ship is doing the same from the other end.”

She sketched something looking very suspiciously like a flying saucer in the other circle, then crisscrossed a line between the two. “They are creating some sort of large-scale quantum tunnelling effect,” Sam added, turning around to face the two people in the room.

“Anybody care to explain what quantum tunneling is?” O’Neill asked. "In words I can understand," he added.

“It's a way for a subatomic particle to pass through a barrier it should not be able to go over if it was following classical mechanics,” Janeway said, feeling somewhat peeved she hadn't thought about that explanation before. Sam was good. More than good. The woman was exceptionally brilliant.

“Carter?”

“If my theory is correct, sir, it's like a short cut between universes. ”

“I see.” O’Neill waved his hand. “Continue.”

Janeway looked at Sam’s drawing with a frown. “There’s no way that link would have survived the destruction of the shuttle, except the phasers are still losing their charge. So, what’s keeping it open?”

O’Neill coughed loudly. “You said yourselves that it was the activation of the stargate at the Alpha site which started it all. Given the similarities between your dilithium and naquadria...”

Both women stared at the Colonel.

“Sir, you are a genius,” Sam said with a new respect in her voice. Janeway was not far from believing the same herself.

O’Neill gave Sam an affectionate smile. “I have my moments. Call it the Carter effect.” His smirk back in place, he flicked his fingers at her. “I’ll let you expand what my great mind is talking about.”

Carter sat back down at the table and leaned on her elbows, her face deeply serious. “A few days ago, the gate technician noticed a slight drop in the operation of the Alpha site gate. I thought it had been caused by the Goa’uld attack. We checked it all out, but nothing came up to explain the small loss of power. So…what if the stargate network is doing the same as the shuttle and the weapons: its energy is seeping into the other universe, in effect keeping the connection live. Because of the size of the stargate system, the fall in energy use is hardly detectable.”

A cold chill settled over Janeway. “Compared to the gate system, my ship’s energy reserves are not that large. We were already running short of dilithium before I disappeared, so _Voyager_ is more than likely to be experiencing the same power failures that were affecting the shuttle.”

 _Voyager_ had waited for her for too long and was now stuck. She didn't know why or how, or even if she could prove it. It hardly mattered. She stood, a new resolution replacing past hesitations and a fate she’d been much too quick to accept for reasons she didn't want to think about right now. “I've to go back to my ship and sever that link.”

Carter gasped, eyes wide. “That's madness. We've got no control over the process of time-shifting, let alone universe-hopping.”

“Carter’s right. Last and only time we did, we ended up in 1969. Good year, 1969, but having lived it twice I think I’ve had enough.” O’Neill’s face showed a lot more worry than his words were disclosing.

“If we dial out from the gate at the Alpha site at the same time as a solar flare, there should be no problem.” Why hadn't she thought of that before? Why had she waited for so long? She should have tried as soon as she'd been made aware of the role of the solar flare. Which hadn't only been that long ago, she realised. But now that she was aware of the threat to _Voyager_ , there was no reason to dawdle any longer.

O’Neill let out a sigh, but Sam ignored him. “We can't forecast solar flares, and even if we knew how to reverse the direction of the slingshot, you could end up in another universe altogether.”

Walking to the whiteboard, Janeway pointed to the crosshatching Sam had drawn. “The link, that quantum tunnel, is anchored at both ends in a specific time and location. Once I enter it, it will automatically lead me back to _Voyager_.”

She had not made an effort before because she had thought that road shut, guarded by laws of nature nobody, not even a timeship officer would understand. Even with this new insight, that path might still be illusory, but she had little choice. Her ship and crew were in danger and she was duty-bound to protect them.

“It’s much too risky. We’re working from a hunch here, nothing more,” Sam protested.

Janeway scoffed. “Don't you trust your gut instincts?”

“There’s gut instinct and there are one-way suicide missions,” Sam said, her eyes narrowing.

Janeway clenched her jaw. She heard O’Neill say, “Easy, Carter”, and let her breath out slowly. Suicide missions had become her specialty lately, but the last thing she needed in this particular instance was somebody stopping her. Again.

Her plan to leave the ship to see it to safety during its journey through the void had been sound. Her decision to stay behind so _Voyager_ would ride out that mind-numbing empty space had been entirely justified. She should never have let Chakotay talk her out of taking the shuttle on her own. He had jeopardised the well-being of the entire crew just to save hers. She wasn’t worth that.

“It’s my ship, my responsibility. That’s what I do,” she enunciated slowly.

“But you have another way now,” Sam pleaded. “Allow the Tok’ra to go ahead with the blending. At least until we check everything. At the moment, it's just an hypothesis. It will take time to confirm.”

O’Neill nodded his agreement. “Sam’s right. As much as I would hate to have one of those snake things inside me, it did wonders for Jacob.”

“You are not helping, sir,” Sam said, scowling.

“Sorry.” The man did manage to look sheepish. “Forget what I just said, Janeway. The Tok’ra are fantastic people. Trustworthy, humble and all that.”

“Colonel!”

O’Neill opened his hands. “What did I say this time?”

Kathryn cut through. “The Tok’ra’s offer is not an option. The Prime Directive is clear, and—”

“Your Prime Directive! Protocols, rules! Is that all you ever live by?” Sam was openly scowling at her.

“I am not the only one obeying rules I don’t particularly like, Major,” Kathryn threw back, jutting her chin.

Sam glanced at O’Neill before casting her eyes down. “That’s not the same.”

The Colonel was quick to catch the inference. “Whoa, kids. We’re getting into dangerous territory here. Let’s all take a deep breath.” He looked at Hammond’s door as if the General was going to burst out of his office any second.

“Okay. Let’s say you are right, Captain.” Carter leaned across the table, her tone cold. “Let’s say you return to your ship. Then what?”

“I shut down the link from _Voyager_ ’s side. Think about it, Sam. We can’t allow that energy drain to continue. If there is one rule in the multiverse that trumps all others, it must be that a connection between two universes cannot be allowed to remain opened.”

Sam sat back, looking defeated. “And we can’t shut down the stargate system from our side. Hundreds might be in use at any one time.”

“Exactly. But if I tell my crew to do a complete shut down of anything that uses dilithium on the ship, that should cut off the link. There’s no deposits of dilithium in the system, I am sure of that. The only source the sensors picked up was the stargate when the solar flare made it visible to us. That's why I ordered my team to investigate the planet. No dilithium in use, no connection.”

“You can’t just walk into the gate and hope you'll end up inside your ship. And what about predicting a solar flare in the first place?”

Janeway smiled, feeling smug. “The solar flare shouldn’t be a problem, and I won’t be walking into the wormhole. I’ll fly into it, or close to it like the shuttle did. You mentioned a while back you had space-capable flyers. F-302s you called them?”

“What would you need an F-302 for, Captain?” Hammond was standing at the door, Jacob behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to [tyrsenian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tyrsenian/pseuds/tyrsenian) because there is a bit of astrophysics in it. If you squint hard enough. Even if it does not make any sense. But it was fun to research!


	11. Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Previously:**   
>  _Getting sicker by the day, Kathryn refused to host a Tok’ra symbiote to save her life, so as not to divulge any of her technology. However, odd readings she took just before her shuttle exploded and an odd decrease in the stargate power use according to Sam seemed to indicate that, unbeknown to everybody, the two universes have remained connected. The two women hypothesised that Voyager's use of dilithium and the gates' naquadria were responsible for keeping the link open. Armed with this new information and faced with her ship being in potential danger, Janeway took the decision to go back to her universe to try and close the link, to the concern of both Carter and O'Neill. ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains major character deaths.

* * *

  **Goodbyes**

“It was an honour to work alongside you, Captain Janeway.”

“Likewise, Teal’c. Live long and prosper, my friend.”

The Jaffa tilted his head and smiled before walking back towards the second F-302 spacecraft waiting on the Alpha site runway. Its downward wings reminded Janeway of a Klingon Bird of Prey. She had to agree with Sam and O’Neill: the F-302 was a good-looking spacecraft. A pity she couldn’t fly one of them solo. She was putting Sam’s life in danger.

O’Neill lifted his sunglasses. “Well, Janeway, looks like today might be the day. Tell your folks we say hi.”

She could not help rolling her eyes. O’Neill and goodbyes obviously inhabited two completely different universes, never to meet.

“I will, Colonel.” She rose on her tiptoes and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Thank you for what you’ve done for me.” The early sunrise was chasing the shadows on the tarmac, but she thought he was blushing.

“It will be good not to have two people sciencing at me all the time. Gives me a headache in case you haven’t noticed. Just one thing, though…” He pushed his sunglasses back on his nose.

She put a hand on his arm. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure Sam ejects out of the flyer safely before we reach the solar flare. Just be there to catch her. There’s only ten minutes of air in that spacesuit.”

“I’m always there to catch her,” he said, his tone serious. “But if it weren’t for orders from higher up, I would abort this mission right now.”

Hammond had ordered all the science heads Carter knew of to work on the hypothesis the link between the two universes was still opened. The decrease in the energy use of the Alpha site stargate had soon been confirmed, starting from when Janeway's shuttle had been caught in the gat's matter stream. It had since accelerated, even after the shuttle's destruction. A few neighbouring gates had also started to show the same problem according to the Tok’ra. A conservative estimate had calculated the drop in power would affect all gates in that sector of space within a couple of months. _After that,_ _we are doomed,_ McKay had announced, looking rather awestruck at meeting Janeway.

Janeway’s mad plan to return to her ship and cut off the link from her end had been approved and fast-tracked with very little time to iron out the problems. She could understand O’Neill's misgivings.

“As soon as Sam engages the auto-pilot to fly the F-302 into the wormhole, I’ll order her to activate her ejection seat. The team has replaced the canopy escape system which will make it easier for you to grab her.”

“You can’t order her, and you know she’ll wait until the last minute before bailing out.”

“Then I’ll override the controls. You have my word. You won’t lose her. I know she means a great deal to you.”

O’Neill straightened his back, his eyes roaming the empty airfield. Apart from SG-3 waiting at the gate, all personnel had already been sent back to Earth. “She's a very valuable—”

“—member of your team. Trust me, I understand.”

That earned her a thin smile from the man. If she hadn’t been overly sensitive to the close bond that could emerge between two COs, she could have easily missed the signs that those two meant much more to each other than what was entirely appropriate in a military setting. It had been sobering, and somewhat depressing, to realise the same protocol issues existed in such different worlds.

“Remind me how we’ll tell your plan has worked from our end,” O’Neill asked.

She'd already explained that part during the last debriefing at the SGC, but Janeway suspected the colonel was using the question to move away from the personal subject that was Samantha Carter.

“The Alpha site stargate will be back to normal within milliseconds once the link has been broken. That’s why we know our previous efforts at sending a message through the wormhole had failed.”

Two days spent pushing modulated signals through the stargate had seen no changes in the gate’s energy use. During that time the SGC had shipped over a couple of F-302s through the stargate from the Beta site and painstakingly re-assembled and tested them for space worthiness. The ejection system on Carter’s flyer had been modified to only affect the pilot. Meanwhile, Janeway had had to bide her time, with Janet breathing down her neck and calling her four times a day now for check-ups.

“I still don’t like it,” O’Neill said.

“The alternative is to disable all stargates within a forty-light-year radius of the Alpha site, according to McKay’s calculations. You know that’s not possible.”

“That’s not what I meant. Carter’s right. Your chances of making it alive are slim.”

“I’ll be fine. The cockpit will repressurise automatically as soon as Sam's out, and all I’ll have to do is to contact my ship once I am back in my universe. If I miss, the worse thing that can happen to me is that I get pushed further back in time instead.”

“From what I gather, the 1700s on Earth were not very pleasant, let alone being stranded here all by yourself.”

Janeway shrugged with one shoulder. She was used to barren planets, and given her likely life span that scenario was a moot point.

All suited up in a bright white spacesuit, Sam came wobbling towards them, a large helmet under her arm. Even without most of the life support equipment and the oxygen tank missing, she looked like a penguin.

“Carter, you need a hand?”

“I would appreciate that, sir.”

O’Neill took her helmet and placed one of her feet on the rungs of the ladder, guiding her up to the pilot’s seat. Janeway climbed behind her. She had become very adept at not using her left arm, which had turned numb and ashen grey from neck to wrist.

She was running out of time.

**###**

What these people called inertial dampeners reminded her of the bike ride to Sam’s house. Not to mention the controls of the F-302 were about as sophisticated. The combination of Goa’uld technology and twenty-first-century human know-how did not make the flyer easy to master for somebody used to voice control and anti-gravs. She had reluctantly ceded the piloting to Sam after almost crashing the spacecraft into O’Neill’s on their first sortie.

She retched what was left of the lining of her gut in a bag, then put the oxygen mask back on her nose, increasing the air flow to cover the stench. “Sorry,” she mumbled on the internal comms channel for Sam’s benefit. The smell was overpowering within the confines of the cockpit, seeping inside the helmets.

“That’s okay. I still remember my first few flights on an F-16. It wasn’t pretty,” Sam answered from the front seat. “Any indication of more solar flares?”

“All quiet for the moment.”

“Thanks for letting us access that early warning technology. It will make stargate travel much safer to be able to predict solar flares before we dial the gates.”

“I didn’t really give it to you. You already had all the knowledge and just needed a small push in the right direction.”

“So, no transgression of your Prime Directive?”

Janeway thought she could hear a slight sarcasm in Sam's voice. The influence of her CO most likely. “None,” she said. “Just an oversight of mine leaving those equations on your laptop. Nothing more.”

Sam laughed before O’Neill’s voice interrupted her. ~ _It’s been six hours, folks. Let’s go back to Kansas_.~

Janeway flicked the flyer-to-flyer radio toggle open. “Predicting solar flares isn’t an exact science with the equipment we managed to cobble together, Colonel. We should wait a bit longer.”

~ _Doctor’s orders, Captain. You are overdue for your medical check. We’ll try again at sixteen hundred. Carter, you land first._ ~

“Yes, sir.”

Frustrated, Janeway could only watch as Carter dipped the F-302's nose towards the surface  of the planet. A flurry of beeps jumped from the tricorder securely strapped to the instrument panel in front of her. “Solar flare in progress. Bearing...”

She rattled the figures showing on the screen. “This is a big one. And it should pass close enough to the matter stream this time.” The few flares she'd detected thus far had been too instable to intercept the stargate wormhole.

~ _How long before it reaches the planet’s magnetic field?_ ~ O’Neill asked.

“My calculations—”

~ _How long_?~

“Seven minutes.” Give or take.

~ _We are cutting it short, but we'll chance it. Blue Leader, we are go_.~

“Roger that, Red Leader. Carter to SG-3.”

~ _SG-3 here_.~

“We have a solar flare in progress. Dial the gate and keep it engaged.”

~ _Roger that, Major. The stargate will be kept open for thirty-eight minutes, starting…now._ ~

“Understood, SG-3. Thirty-eight minutes.”

_~General Hammond here, wanting to speak to Captain Janeway.~_

Janeway hoped Hammond wasn’t going to ground the whole mission. The Pentagon had not been ready to put resources into closing an hypothetical link between two universes which was only affecting an abandoned base. They had refused the General the use of the _Prometheus_ , leaving him almost apoplectic. It meant SG-1, his flagship team, would have no backup if something went wrong.

She toggled the comm switch. “Janeway here, General.”

_~If this works, this universe will owe you our gratitude, Captain. Good luck and God’s speed.~_

Before Janeway had the time to thank him, small bleeps appeared on her radar. “We’ve got company.

~ _Goa’uld gliders,_ ~ Teal’c said. ~ _They are not close enough to detect us_.~

~ _What’s wrong with those guys? Don't know when to call it quits?_ ~ O'Neill said.. ~ _Carter, how long before the solar flare?~_

“Five minutes, sir. ”

~ _We'll sit them out. I’ll alert SG3 and the SGC to our situation. These babies didn’t come here by themselves, so keep your eyes open for a Mother ship._ ~

“Yes, sir.”

Janeway strained her neck to get a glimpse of the enemy flyers even though she knew they were too far away to be visible.

O’Neill’s voice came back through the radio. ~ _Let’s climb between those gliders and the sun. That should disrupt their sensors for a while longer_.~

Another formation of Goa’uld spacecrafts appeared on the radar screen, coming straight for them. 

~ _It seems we have been spotted, O'Neill_.~

 _~Change of plan, Blue Leader. Return to the Alpha site and go back to Earth. Teal’c and I will slow them down_.~

“You can’t take them all, sir. We’ll back you up.”

~ _Negative, Major_.~ O’Neill’s voice deepened.

~ _Three gliders at our six and closing_ ,~ Teal’c announced. In response, O’Neill put his flyer in a sharp turn to face them, protecting Carter and Janeway.

By the time, Sam had turned their F-302 around, O’Neill had already engaged the enemy, drawing them away. With more gliders coming into the mélée, it was not long before a flash of light burst from the rear of his flyer.

~ _We've been hit. Right thruster’s down_.~

The sharp sound of high velocity guns reverberated inside the F-302 cockpit as Carter let go a volley of shots. Janeway could have touched the underside of the Goa’uld glider which went tumbling past, smoke pouring out from its engines. Tracers of enemy fire illuminated the night in front of the flyer. Janeway glanced down at the radar, ignoring the sharp pain that was making its way throught her chest. “A much bigger ship approaching at three o’clock. Four hundred and twenty miles and closing.”

~ _That’s the Mother ship. Carter, return to base._ ~ O’Neill ordered.

Janeway interrupted. “Five more gliders at your six, Colonel.”

“Too many of them. You’ll never get out of there alive. We’ll provide cover,” Carter said.

~ _Negative, Major. Negative_. _Do not engage. I repeat, do not engage._ ~

Janeway hit the console with her good hand. There was no way they could leave O’Neill and Teal’c behind. “Colonel, there are other SGC teams ready to take our place. They know what to do.”

~ _Damn it, Janeway. You and Carter are the best people to make this work._ ~

The safety belts bit into her shoulders and her vision narrowed as Sam flew the flyer into a sharp dive.

 _~Major, get yourselves back to Earth and try again another day_. _That’s an order._ ~

“Radio’s failing, sir,” Sam shouted while dispatching another glider with deadly accuracy. As Sam’s F-302 corrected to avoid slamming into the damaged enemy spacecraft, another pair of gliders opened fire on O’Neill’s flyer. The glass canopy behind the Colonel’s seat shattered under the assault, and Teal’c slumped over, smoke blowing out of the rear cockpit.

~ _Teal’c. Teal’c! Respond._ ~

“I can’t shake them off your tail, Colonel.”

~ _Controls are dead. Disengage, Cart—._ ~

O’Neill’s flyer shuddered under the combined fire power of the remaining gliders. They veered off as the Tau’ri spacecraft blew up in silence against the blackness of space.

“Colonel!” Sam screamed.

Carter and Janeway flew through a burning cloud, high temperature plasma crackling against the hull. When they emerged from the smoke and fire, O’Neill’s flyer was gone.

Sam's voice broke. “Jack...”

There was no trace of the doomed fighter. Both men were dead. For nothing. The vice over Janeway’s chest tightened, the pressure cascading down her right arm.

She almost missed the tell-tale dots on the radar screen. “Enemy gliders converging on our position,” she said, gasping for air.

The tricorder flashed a ten-second countdown warning. “The solar flare,” Janeway whispered, as darkness engulfed her.

**###**

Sam flipped the switch cover up to arm the last warhead at her disposal.

 _Jack_.

She aligned the nose of the flyer with the formation of gliders lined up in front of her like a wake of vultures waiting for the death throes to cease. They were close enough for her to see the end of their wing-mounted staff cannons opening like deadly blossoms.

Pressing the release, she watched the missile stream towards the Goa’uld fleet.

_For you._

The universe shifted around her.


	12. Home for some

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Previously:**   
>  _Janeway’s mad plan to return the Starfleet captain to Voyager resulted in the death of both O’Neill and Teal’c in a space battle with the Goa’uld over the Alpha site. Soon after, Carter’s flyer with Janeway on board got caught in a solar flare while the stargate was still active._

* * *

**Home for some**

****

Sam jerked her head back as the bald man in a black and blue uniform waved a wand-like device at her face while focusing all his attention on a small hand-held screen.

“I took the liberty of repairing the damage caused to your upper leg by somebody who still thinks that sewing up muscles is called medical treatment,” he said. “Frankly, I can’t fathom how the human species managed to survive for so long using such quackery.”

Janet would have been so pleased to hear the man’s opinion of her surgery skills. “Thank you,” Sam said, not in the mood to argue.

She patted down the blue gown she was wearing. Her spacesuit was nowhere to be seen, and she felt purposeless without the equipment she was used to carry with her. The doctor prattled on. She took no notice, still trying to make sense of what had happened during the face off with the Goa’uld gliders. The stars had abruptly moved, a large white ship materialising in front of the F-302. Its sheer elegance and clean lines had taken her breath away before she’d found herself inside what looked like a large hangar.

Things had gone fuzzy after that, but there could no doubt she had woken up in _Voyager_ ’s infirmary. The room was uncluttered, the streamlined equipment noiseless, with screens showing undecipherable information in the low lighting. A world away from the SGC; a hint of a future she had once aspired to see. But not any longer. Not anymore. Not at the cost of losing two people who meant so much to her.

Seemingly satisfied with his work, the man put the devices on a tray behind him and picked up a small tube he pressed against her neck. “I have injected you with a compound that should help reduce the side effects of abruptly changing timelines. Are you feeling any dizziness, nausea, headaches?”

She felt numb, paralysed, her mind churning the same image of plunging her flyer into the fire as if to pluck Jack out of annihilation, one atom of his body at a time. But that was not possible, the scientist in her mourned. Entropy always won at the end.

“No. I’m fine,” Sam said, stretching her neck.

“I see.” The doctor lifted a disapproving eyebrow. “I never realised before now that ‘ _I’m fine_ ’ has been a standard response among some humans since times immemorial.”

Ignoring the sarcasm, Sam slid off the bed. It felt strange not to hobble anymore. As if she was another person now, with no links to a past that had never existed in this universe. Where neither Teal’c nor O’Neill had lost their lives fighting Goa’uld gliders because none of what had happened had ever come to pass here. Despite her best efforts to keep her pain buried, her eyes welled up. Teal’c, so stoic and strong. Jack, sacrificing himself so she could do what she was best at. Both gone. And now she had been thrown three hundred and fifty years in the future and god only knew how many universes sideways into Janeway’s world.

Wiping her cheeks, Sam looked around the dim room. “Kathryn. Where is she? Tell me she made it alive.”

“Captain Janeway is under sedation,” the man said with pain in his voice. “She suffered a massive myocardial infarction while transitioning back to _Voyager_ ’s timeline.”

He showed Sam to a large alcove. The woman she called her friend was lying on a bed, a light sheet leaving her shoulders and arms bare. Thin blue veins covered her left arm like lace, although her skin was a lighter shade of grey than what Sam remembered. She looked ethereal against the sharp lines of the black arch covering her chest.

“By the time I was brought in,” the doctor said, “the damage done to her heart was already extensive, a side effect of long exposure to another universe timeline.”

“How do you know we come from somewhen else?” Sam asked, watching Janeway’s chest gently rise and fall.

“You mean, apart from the rather primitive medical treatments you were both subjected to? I found traces of chroniton particles in your bloodstream and that of the captain.”

 _Chroniton particles?_ Sam wasn’t ready to ask all the questions jumping in her mind. There was too much to take in, too much to query.

“But the captain will get better, won't she?” she said instead. “You can surely heal heart attacks in the twenty-fourth century.”

Janeway was the best person to alert this universe to what was going on. These people were hardly going to believe the words of somebody whose knowledge was so outdated compared to theirs.

The doctor huffed. “Of course. After all I am _Voyager_ 's Doctor, but I had to stabilise her cardiac functions first, then treat the deep wound to her shoulder and her depressed immunity. Not to mention malnutrition and general fatigue. She'll require several more treatments, which she will most probably try to dispense with once she wakes up.”

He tapped a triangular device on his chest. Sam recognised the same object Janeway had worn on her uniform when they had found her at the Alpha site.

“Sickbay to Commander Chakotay,” the man said.

~ _Chakotay here._ ~

“Our guest is awake.”

~ _I’m on my way. Chakotay out._ ~

“Now, I do hope you have more sense than the captain. I want you to stay—” The man’s body vibrated, parts of him becoming transparent. “Not again,” he protested before losing cohesion altogether and fading in thin air, his mouth wide open in denial.

Sam pushed her hand through the fractured image shimmering in front of her. “A solid-state hologram,” she said aloud, her mind already wondering about the technology which could create such a feat. Purposeful footsteps sounded behind her, and she turned around, smiling. “That’s an amazing piece of technology, sir. It looks like the one the Ancients used—”

She tasted bile in her mouth as a man in a black and red uniform came to a halt near the bed.

“Where’s the Doctor?” he asked, frowning.

“He…disappeared.” Sam gripped the edge of Janeway’s bed.

“B’Elanna, ” the man said in his own communicator device, with an urgent tone. “The Doctor’s program has shut down again. We need it back online. Now.”

A woman’s voice answered him. ~ _Sorry, Chakotay. The relays must have blown on deck five when I re-initialised the transporter pattern buffers_.~

Chakotay hissed in frustration. “Make it your priority. We need him. The captain—”

~ _I’ll get onto it immediately_. _Torres out._ ~

The man breathed hard, his hand coming to rest on Janeway’s uninjured shoulder as if it naturally belonged there. Only when he lifted his head did Sam notice the large tattoo drawn in simple lines on his temple.

“My apologies, I am Commander Chakotay,” he said. “And this is Captain Janeway, but I assume you know her. We transported you both onboard just before your spacecraft blew up.”

The F-302 was gone too. One by one, doors were slamming shut around Sam. There would be no Asgard, no Tok’ra, no Jack to get her out of the strange situation she’d found herself.

She saluted the commander. “I am Major Samantha Carter, from the United States Air Force.” She dropped her hand when the only response to her salute was a nod from the tired and drawn man. “Yes,” she added more gently, as she recognised the man's name. “I do know the captain. We’ve been working together to understand how she came to end up in my universe and timeline.”

“Then, welcome to _Voyager_ , Major, and thank you for bringing her home,” Chakotay said, his eyes drawn back to the woman on the bed. His thumb was stroking Kathryn’s bare skin, and Sam wondered if he was even aware of what he was doing.

**###**

“Chakotay, my team is flat out trying to maintain the systems that are still working, and now you want us to shut everything down? That’s ridiculous!”

Sam could empathise with the woman. Lieutenant Torres reminded her of… Actually, she’d never met a Klingon before and never worked with somebody who seemed to be constantly on the edge of exploding. But Kathryn had said that woman was the best engineer she had, and the people assembled in the briefing room did not seem fazed by what Sam had told them of parallel universes and jumping timelines. Maybe those events were more common occurrences in the twenty-fourth century than Janeway had led her to believe.

They were all so young and eager, with none of the timeworn and battle-jaded military men she was always deferring to. The Ensign, Harry Kim, could not be much older than a first-year rookie, but he held his place among the small group. Tom Paris, _Voyager_ ’s pilot, behaved at times like a poster boy for an Air Force academy recruitment drive. The Vulcan, Tuvok, had the same ageless appearance as Teal’c and, like him, said very little. Commander Chakotay looked the more weary among them. He obviously needed her help to rally support for her proposal.

“As I explained to the Commander, the captain is convinced that shutting down the power of the ship is the only way to stop the energy drain affecting both the stargate network in my universe and your ship,” Sam said.

“Improbable as it may sound, the theory that independent universes can remain linked under certain conditions is intriguing.” The blonde woman with metal implants on her hand and face had been introduced as Seven of Nine. Nine what? Clones? An android maybe? Her standoffish behaviour certainly did not seem quite human.

Lieutenant Torres snorted and the conversation between her and Seven soon descended into a heated discussion on alternate universes and transportals, the technical babble flying way above Sam’s head. She was used to be the expert in the room and was rarely intimidated, but she felt strangely inadequate in the company of those two formidable women. And it was not only because of their impressive intellect and the fact she hardly understood what they were talking about. She also found Seven’s tight uniform a distraction. That catsuit would have put the entire male population of Cheyenne Mountain base on melt-down, and most probably half of the women too. Humanity must have changed over the past three hundred years that a woman could dress any way she wanted, and nobody batted an eyelid.

She glanced down at her baggy BDU, feeling out of place among the neat Starfleet uniforms, apart from the shiny combadge on her chest. The clothes she had been given when asked what she wanted to wear were very close to the original article which she had left behind at the Alpha site. There did not seem to be much these people could not fashion out of thin air. In any other circumstances she would have been very keen to know more, but instead she felt burned-out and overwhelmed.

“B’Elanna, what’s your recommendation at this stage?” the commander asked, putting an end to the discussion.

“I say it makes some sense, but I would much prefer to have the captain explain the whole thing.”

“And the captain would only tell you, B’Elanna, that you should listen to what Major Carter has to say,” said a familiar voice behind Sam.

Kathryn put her hand on Sam’s shoulder, her face showing only compassion. Sam gave her a small smile, knowing the woman understood her pain, and glad for her support. But this was not the place nor the time to mourn her loss. Grief would have to wait.

Nodding her understanding, Kathryn turned to the small gathering and sat down in the chair closest to Sam. She wore the red and black uniform Sam had seen on her the first time they’d met, all those weeks ago.

Chakotay stood from the end of the table. “Has the Doctor released you from sickbay?”

Janeway waved him down. “I discharged myself.” The woman was looking ill, a faint film of sweat shining on her forehead.

The man frowned. “Captain—”

“The Doctor is monitoring me.” She pointed to a round device affixed to her neck.

The commander sat back down, but not before exchanging a worried look with Tuvok.

“Captain, it’s good to see you,” Torres said with relief in her voice.

“And it’s good to be back,” Janeway said with a warm smile. “Thank you for holding the fort while I was away.” The mood in the room rose, hope shining in everybody’s eyes as they greeted the woman in turn. Then, the captain lifted her hand and the room grew silent. “We have a serious and urgent situation on our hand,” Janeway said. “I assumed Major Carter has already briefed you?”

“The major has described the similarity between the energy source of this ship,” Seven said, “and the long-distance transporter system of her universe. She has also explainedthe hypothesis that it is that same energy which is keeping the two universes connected.”

“Good, so you all know what is at stake. I can’t stress enough the importance of what we are doing here. The future of two universes is at risk. Because the stargate network can’t be shut down, it’s up to us to make this work from our end,” Janeway said. “But before we do anything, we need to think of a way to return the major to her own timeline and world.”

All eyes converged on Sam who looked down at her hands. Home. Only now did she realise it was so much more than an empty house. She’d never thought she would be so longing for it.

Janeway misunderstood her reticence. “We don’t know if the compound the Doctor gave you will protect you for long. Sooner or later, this universe could start rejecting you as yours was rejecting me. You might not survive here.”

Sam shook her head. “Even if I could, I can’t stay. I have to go back. My Earth is still under threat.” And staying here would not honour Jack and Teal’c's sacrifice. She owed them both too much to set aside her duty.

Kathryn squeezed Sam’s hand tight. “I would not expect anything less from you,” she said, with a gentle smile.

“What do you have in mind, Captain?” Chakotay asked.

“I suggest we build a stargate ourselves.” Silence greeted her words, heavy looks exchanged among those present. Janeway’s eyes narrowed as if readying herself for a long argument.

“Is that wise, Captain?” Tuvok asked, his hands steepled in front of him.

Sam could not help thinking the man had a point. The same woman who had sworn never to divulge the technology of her own universe was now ready to use the Ancient knowledge just to save Sam's life? She had to give them something in return. “I’ll be happy to provide you with all I know about the stargates.”

“Does that offer allay your concern, Tuvok?” Janeway asked.

“With all due respect, Major, you can hardly be speaking on behalf of your government.”

The statement was moot, in Sam’s opinion. Her government was three centuries away and not in a position to argue.

“However,” the man continued, “this is not the point I want to stress. It is my belief that we shouldn’t access knowledge or technology from another universe without extreme care and consideration, especially a technology as potentially disruptive as this one. The socio-economic and strategic consequences for the Federation could be catastrophic. From what I can gather, any planet with a stargate would get a tactical advantage, leaving those without for whatever reasons floundering. Starship travel could become sidestepped in the long term, and might even disappear altogether.”

“I did say you were the one I turned to when I needed my moral compass checked,” Janeway said in a soft voice. “And I missed your counsel the past few weeks, Tuvok. However, while I agree with you in principle that the Prime Directive applies both ways, I can’t condemn the major to such an exile from her home universe, when we could have the means to get her back to her own world.”

Kathryn's face crumpled as she said those last words, and Chakotay stood and walked to stand behind her chair. He put his hand on her shoulder. Without looking at him, her hand found Chakotay’s, and her thumb brushed lightly against his fingers before she straightened her back and let her hand fall at her side.

Sam swallowed the knot in her throat, and turned her gaze away. The unspoken closeness between the two COs, so similar to what she and Jack had shared, was hard to watch.

“We’ll build a gate,” Janeway said with finality, “but its schematics will be locked under my security code. I’ll deal with the consequences of my decision once we are back in the Alpha quadrant. In the meantime, people, we need ideas. We don’t have much time before we have to power down the ship.”

It was fascinating, Sam thought, to see the difference in Janeway's demeanour. She was in control here, a captain who had total confidence in her well-oiled team of exceptional people. Not unlike the SGC, even if their goals were markedly different.

“We could use one of the holodecks to run the preliminary simulations,” Seven said. “The holodecks run on an independent energy source from the rest of the ship, so the preparations for the ship black-out won’t affect the experiment.”

“You wouldn’t need a conventional gate. You could build a smaller one, big enough to get me through. I’ve seen it done. Once,” Sam said.

Torres leaned over, looking keen. “I suggest we convert one of the cargo bays and oversee the fabrication of the gate components from there. That will free the Engineering levels.”

“Sounds like we’ve got a plan,” Janeway said. “B’Elanna, Seven, Sam, you will work on the gate. Harry, I want you to start monitoring the sun of this planetary system for solar flares. They’ll provide the boost which will enable the matter stream from the gate to jump timelines. Tom, work with Harry on the navigation calculations needed to fly into one at very short notice. Take the energy drain on the engines into consideration. Chakotay and I will start setting up non-essential ship systems to run in grey mode in prepara—"

_~Doctor to the Captain. Please report to sickbay for your next treatment.~_

Janeway rolled her eyes at the interruption. “You’ll have to wait a bit longer, Doctor.”

~ _No, I will not. Your cardiac monitor is showing increasing levels of troponin in your blood stream. You might suffer another cardiac failure if you don’t follow the full treatment course.~_

Before Janeway had time to respond, Chakotay stepped from behind her. “Captain, may I accompany you? We can discuss the details of the ship shut-down on our way to Sickbay.” He bent over, and Sam caught his whisper. “Please, Kathryn,” the man said in Janeway’s ear. “We just got you back. I don’t want to lose you again.”

Janeway looked at him with her eyes wide, but he just smiled and waited for her to stand. She rose from her chair, and turned to face Sam. “There is much to do, but we’ll talk. Tonight.”

“Thank you." Sam fought the quiver in her voice. "I’d like that.”

Kathryn and Chakotay left the Briefing room together, followed by their officers discussing their assignments among themselves.

Seven waited for Sam, her hands behind her back. “I am intrigued, Major. Why did you build only one stargate?”

Sam pulled a face, remembering the state of her basement where the alien who had taken a shine to her had built the small one-off gate. “When it was activated, it blew all the electrical circuits within a mile radius and melted most of the gate components to slag. We never could make it work again.”

 


	13. Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Previously:**   
>  _Carter and Janeway reached Voyager. While recovering from a massive heart attack, and despite Tuvok’s misgivings about using technology from another universe, Janeway decided to build a scale-down version of a stargate to help Sam return safely to her world and timeline._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to gift this story to [fellow Trekkie Beth6787](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/10058134/Beth6787) for her unwavering support and thoughtful comments throughout. Always a pleasure to check my email and read her reviews. My greatest thanks, Beth.

* * *

**_Back_ **

 

Chakotay put his arm under Kathryn’s hand as they made their way towards the turbolift. Since she had disappeared, he had dreamed of walking those same corridors at her side, chatting about Neelix’ newest culinary efforts, or discussing rumours about Tom’s next holoprogram, while _Voyager_ continued on its journey. Anything to erase those empty days when she had vanished in her quarters and then on that damn planet. Once upon a time, he’d wished for much more, but that was in the past. Now, he was just happy to have her back.

“We’ll need Engineering, Astrometrics and cargo bay one to remain operational until the last minute,” she said. “But we hardly need access to the torpedo launchers and tractor beam.”

They waited for the turbolift door to open. “Let’s start with decks nine, ten, fourteen and fifteen, then,” Chakotay said once they entered the lift. “We can start putting those in grey mode first to check their residual energy use. There’s bound to be something that needs to be shut down from another deck.”

Kathryn leaned on the wall behind her and closed her eyes, her hand still on his arm. “Good point.”

“I should have been there when you woke up.” He’d been called away to help with another engineering problem. Just using the tractor beam to pluck the two women off their exploding flyer had been enough to cause multiple failures across too many systems already starved of power.

“You had much to do.” She raised her head with a small hesitant smile, looking at him through tired eyes. “When all this is finished, we’ll have to talk, but I want you to know I’m thankful you stayed.”

That was a surprise. He had fully expected her to give him a dressing down for ignoring her most express order. “I wasn’t going to leave you behind,” he said, “no matter how many times you urge me to.” He immediately regretted the bitterness of his words. “Sorry, you’ve been back for less than a day, and I am already arguing with you.”

“Don’t apologise, Chakotay. I am grateful for your loyalty. To be honest, I did hope that…”

She looked away, and he let the moment pass. Loyalty was not the word he would have used, but if she wanted to be all captain with him, it was alright. It’s not like he could choose where Captain Janeway stopped and Kathryn began. Take one away, and the other part of her was diminished.

“I never felt so alone in my life as I was on Earth,” she said. “That’s why I want Sam to return to her universe. It’s not fair to condemn her to remain here, even if the Doctor could find a way to permanently reverse the ill-effects on our universe hopping.”

The door swished open, and they stepped into the corridor leading to sickbay. “She also lost two members of her team when we made the jump. They were good men, Chakotay. I owe them. Sam deserves to be given the chance to be among her family and friends, and tell her people of those men’s courage in the face of death.”

“She means a lot to you.”

“She does. Without her, I wouldn’t have made it back home.”

It was the first time Chakotay had heard Kathryn talk about _Voyager_ as being her home. He had moved on since those early days when _Voyager_ was only a mean to get back to the Alpha quadrant. He had been ready to make his home wherever he happened to be if Kathryn was close by. But he had always known that, for her, Earth was where her home was.

What made her change her mind? he wondered.

**###**

Lieutenant Torres looked at Sam with wide eyes. “That alien who built the small gate used what?”

“A cavity magnetron from my kitchen microwave,” Sam said, examining the diagram spread on the console in front of her.

“Why would you even have a microwave generator in your house?” Torres asked.

“It’s used to cook food by exposing it to non-ionizing electromagnetic radiation.” Should she use the past tense when talking about her house? After all, she was in the future now. One future among many anyway.

“At the right wavelength, microwaves excite water molecules through dielectric heating, which would result in much faster and safer cooking while retaining the necessary vitamins and nutrients. An ingenious technology,” Seven said.

The inscrutable blonde was standing at another console in the middle of a room called a holodeck. Expecting a busy workshop, Sam had been disappointed to see nothing she could tinker with.

“He also needed a toaster,” Sam deadpanned.

Torres almost dropped the tablet she’d been using to list the components of the gate. “A toaster? Please don’t tell Tom about it. He’ll want one.”

Sam had warmed to the feisty engineer after a short period of awkwardness. Torres knew her stuff, even if she was not shy in letting her frustration boil over. Seven on the other hand was a mystery. The woman was also highly intelligent and knowledgeable, but almost totally lacking in basic interpersonal skills. She reminded Sam of a more conceited Rodney McKay, if that was possible.

“So, to recap,” Torres said, “we are going to need about fifty kilos of titanium, optic cables I have no idea how to fabricate because we haven’t used that technology for at least two hundred years, large-scale capacitors, and a variety of kitchen appliances I’ve never heard of.”

Sam did not comment, knowing full well the difficulties inherent in adapting alien technology to one’s own. _Voyager_ ’s computer interface had been easy enough for her to master, although the differences in the technical jargon tripped her at times.

This ship was a marvel, there was no doubt about it. Except for its engines. At least the _Prometheus_ punched well above its weight in that regard. She hadn’t hidden her pride when she’d told Torres and Seven about the Tau’ri ship’s capabilities. A pity naquadria did not have the same characteristics in this universe, or these people would have been home in a few days rather than a few decades.

A familiar voice came from behind her. “Lieutenant, what’s your progress?” Janeway asked. She gave Sam a smile and stood beside her.

“The major has drawn a preliminary schematic of the gate which Seven has programmed into the holodeck computer matrix,” Torres said. “We should be ready for the testing simulation in a few hours. Most of the gate components are not standard items on the ship, so I’ll start on the manufacturing process right away to save time.”

“Excellent work, Lieutenant, but it’s getting late. I want to start powering down non-essential systems in the morning, and I need you sharp in case something goes wrong. Give the list to the Engineering beta shift and go and get some rest, the three of you.”

“I’d prefer to continue working on the gate, Captain.” Sam said. She wasn’t looking forward to hours of facing her thoughts of loss and grief in the darkness of a VIP quarters. She’d much prefer losing herself into work, so she wouldn’t have to feel.

“I agree with the major,” Torres added. “The technology is complex and—”

The captain’s voice grew softer. “B’Elanna, Chakotay has told me how hard you and Seven have worked over the past few weeks, trying to find me. The days after we sever the link with the major’s universe will be hectic too, while we get _Voyager_ back online and back on course. You all need a break.”

Torres seemed to want to argue further, but Janeway cut her off. “I don't want to make this an order, B’Elanna.”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Good.” Janeway put her hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Major, I’ll see you later this evening. What about you grab something to eat first?”

Sam nodded, feeling suddenly famished. “I’ll do that. Thank you.” Then Janeway was gone, leaving the holodeck through an opening which Sam had not noticed before.

“You’ve heard the captain. We’ll continue first thing in the morning,” Torres said.

“Computer, end holodeck program Seven gamma.”

“What the hell?” Sam jumped back as the console she had been working on disappeared into thin air. She was left standing in an empty room with angled walls, the smooth floor divided into large squares delineated in yellow. The holographic technology was so sophisticated she had forgotten she’d been working with photons shaped into life and hard matter by a magnetic forcefield. The Tok’ra holograms she had once admired paled into insignificance compared with what this room could recreate.

Seven put her hands behind her back. “I apologise for startling you, Major.”

“It’s all right. I was certainly not expecting it.” Sam’s stomach took the opportunity to grumble loudly.

“You need nutrition. I will show you to the turbolift. The mess hall is on deck two.”

The door of the holodeck closed behind the three women, and Torres took her leave. It was only a short walk to the lift.

“What time should I start tomorrow?” Sam asked.

“I’ll need to undertake a longer regeneration cycle to ensure I remain fully functional for the days ahead. We will resume work at oh seven hundred hours.”

Sam was too weary to ask Seven what she was talking about. She had learnt very quickly that the woman was not into idle talk, which had suited her just fine during the busy hours they’d been working together. “I’ll be there.”

Seven nodded curtly and continued on her way.

Once inside the turbolift, Sam looked around for buttons before recalling that most systems on this ship worked on voice command.

“Deck two,” she said, before adding, “please.” How did one talk to an ever-listening computer? So far, she’d channelled all her energy into the task of understanding concepts she didn’t know and ideas which she didn’t fully grasp. She wouldn’t be Dr Samantha Carter if she had said no to a new scientific challenge, and she’d welcomed the long hours talking science and arguing technology. Now, only deep tiredness was seeping into her bones.

The door to the mess hall opened and a small man with peculiar facial hair and mottled coloured skin appeared as if he had been waiting for her. “I am Neelix and you must be Major Carter. Seven told me to expect you. Would you like me to get you some dinner?”

“Thank you, that would be great.” Sam could not help smiling at the very eager man.

Neelix beamed in response. “Find yourself a seat, and I’ll bring you a plate of my finest dish.”

She sat down at one of the empty tables. She’d munched on a couple of ration bars while waiting in the F-302 to catch a solar flare. Then she’d woken up in the ship’s infirmary, followed by the briefing with Janeway’s officers, discussing titanium and gate schematics with Seven and Lieutenant Torres for the rest of the day. No time to herself to think about—

“There.” The small rotund man pushed a steaming dish under her nose. “One of my specialities: Teralean stew with microgreens from the airponics bay. You are lucky, another hour and I would have had to put them in stasis.”

Yellow eyes looked at her expectantly, and she tasted the dish with more enthusiasm than she truly felt. “It’s good,” she said, and the small man rubbed his hands.

“Major Carter, I see Neelix has already shown you his renown hospitality.”

“Commander.” Carter stood, drawing a surprised look from the cook.

Chakotay pulled on his ear lobe, dimples brightening his tired face. “Please sit down, Major. You must be exhausted.”

“Thank you, sir.” She relaxed her stance at the knowing look he gave her. “I prefer Sam actually.”

“Sam it is, then. The captain has asked me to answer any question you might have. I’ll grab a plate and join you, if that’s alright with you.”

“Please,” she said. Better talking than thinking.

The commander took Neelix away and was soon back with a tray. He sat down across Sam, looking at the plate with the same lack of enthusiasm. She had the impression he was not sure what to talk about and decided she could as well take the lead.

She mulled around the question she had wanted to ask Kathryn for weeks now without plucking the courage to do so. Maybe her first officer would be more forthcoming.

“How did your ship become stranded in the Delta quadrant?” she said.

A dark cloud passed over Chakotay’s eyes. “Both our ships were brought here by an entity we named the Caretaker. He thought we were the answer to his centuries-long search for a new custodian of a local species called the Ocampa. He died soon after we arrived, and we helped the Ocampa who were in danger of being over run by a much more aggressive species, the Kazon.”

“There was another ship?”

“I was the captain of the _Val Jean_ , a Maquis’ ship. It got destroyed in the fight with the Kazon.”

“The Maquis? As in the World War II resistance group?” Mesmerised by the man’s tale, Sam started eating without giving any more thoughts to the odd taste and texture of the dish.

“Yes. Long story short, the Maquis were opposed to a Federation treaty with a merciless enemy back in the Alpha quadrant. I ended up on Starfleet’s most wanted list of Maquis rebels. The captain hasn’t told you the story?”

Sam decided to tell a white lie. It was not quite lying really, and she was curious. Kathryn had never mentioned her first officer had once been a fugitive. “Not in its entirety.”

Chakotay chased a piece of green vegetable on his plate. “Starfleet sent _Voyager_ after my ship to bring me and my crew back to justice. Thanks to the Caretaker, we became marooned here together and joined our forces. We’ve been one crew on one ship under one command ever since.”

The story had all the makings of a legend in Sam’s opinion, but she wasn’t seeing the full picture. “And the captain made you her first officer even though she was under orders to take you into custody?”

His eyes crinkled. “That she did. Serving under her has been an honour, and I haven’t regretted it. But rightly or wrongly, the captain feels deeply responsible for us being stranded here. She made the decision to destroy our only way back home to protect the Ocampa. I’ve told her many times it was a choice nobody on this ship regretted her making if it meant saving an entire species, but…”

He stabbed at his food. Sam dropped her gaze back to her plate. Looking after Captain Janeway was obviously a full-time occupation, except it seemed to be more than a job for the dark-haired man.

“My apologies,” Chakotay said after taking a deep breath. “I haven’t had the opportunity to express our gratitude before, but please accept the thanks of the entire crew for bringing her back to us.”

He smiled, and, man, were those dimples fascinating. He wore his heart on his sleeve. Sam grinned back. “Once the captain realised the danger your ship was in, I think she would have stolen a flyer and thrown it into the sun if we had tried to stop her.”

A dark cloud came across the man’s face, but he changed the conversation away from Janeway. “It seems the captain is not the only one to be reckless at times though. While in sickbay for her treatment, she told me you were going to eject from your spacecraft, so she could fly back into our universe. It was a risky plan.”

“The colonel and Teal’c had found themselves in a similar situation once. This time I had a spacesuit on while they almost di—.” _Shit_. She pushed her plate away, tears welling out of nowhere.

The man’s voice turned gentle. “Kathryn told me what happened. She said you were a very close team.”

Sam didn’t want anybody's sympathy. How could these people understand, with their medical marvels that had brought their captain back from near death, and technology which could create people and matter out of light? She’d lost Jack, and no miracles were going to bring _him_ back to life.

The commander looked at her with understanding in his eyes. She was grateful he was not uttering words of condolences. The pain was too raw, too sudden for her to feel Jack’s loss yet. Once back at the SGC, she would allow herself to grieve. She wanted to cry in her father’s arms and mourn his death with Daniel and Janet, Cassie, General Hammond—the family who had grown around her over the years.

When she lifted her chin, Chakotay was looking into the distance, giving her time to recover her composure. She wondered who was the saddest of them two. The one who already knew the person she loved was no more; or the man before her, waiting for the day when he would lose his love for good. Because Kathryn was much more to him than the Starfleet captain who had disobeyed her orders, so their combined crew would have a better chance of surviving the long journey home.

After they finished their meal in silence, Chakotay accompanied Sam to her quarters on deck three. A moment of almost comedic proportion ensued when he showed her the room replicator. She explained the reason for her alarm, expecting spider-like self-replicating machines to come out of the wall. While the commander reassured her with good humour before exiting the room, the incident left her uneasy, another reminder she did not belong in this universe.

**###**

“Captain?”

Kathryn blinked. The PADD she’d been reading slid off her chest, but she caught it before it hit the floor.

“My apologies, Chakotay. Must have dozed off.” A rush of tall trees and open roads disappeared slowly from her mind, and she fought the confusion that came over her. Pushing herself off the Ready room couch, she picked up her cup from the floor and put it down on the low table covered in PADDs and ship plans. Coffee had never tasted better, but it didn’t seem to help the fatigue that hung heavily on her shoulders. She massaged the knots at the back of her neck. Chakotay had not come inside the room and was still standing near the door.

“I was catching up with the engineering reports,” she said. “Carey has confirmed we should survive six hours with the atmospheric filters offline, but if we stay near that sun, we’ll end up roasted well before that.”

She pointed at the Alpha sun, rendered a reddish blob by the ship’s shields and window filters. “Starships are not meant to be completely powered down, even in drydock, let alone while battling a sun’s radiation and gravitational pull. So many things could go very wrong very quickly.”

“If we had enough dilithium, we could risk a few minutes at warp speed to get us far enough out of the planetary system to be safe. Maybe engaging warp would be enough to sever our connection to the other universe,” Chakotay said.

Kathryn knew that simple solution would not ease their problems. “We’d be so lucky. It would just feed more energy into the link. We’ll have to use impulse only, I’m afraid.”

“I’ll get Tom onto it, but please get some rest, Kathryn. You asked the Alpha shift officers to take the remainder of the evening off, and you should order yourself to do the same.”

She smiled at the familiar rebuke. She’d missed Chakotay’s devoted care and wondered where and when it had all gone so wrong that she had pushed him away while battling her own void. He deserved a lot better from his captain after what she'd done to him. She’d been selfish and self-absorbed. She’d taken idiotic risks, knowing he would be there to pick up the pieces and deal with the consequences. Her absence from the captain's chair had taken its toll on him. In his eyes, she’d been missing in action for much longer than three weeks.

She had to return to be the captain everybody could count on. There was a job to do and she couldn't think of any other way than to go back to the well-trodden path she'd walked for five years now.

“I’ll talk to Sam first. Finding myself in another universe was one of the worst feelings I’ve ever experienced, and I can well imagine what it must feel like for Sam.” A shudder went through her.

Chakotay tipped his head and took a step back. “Good night, Kathryn.” The Ready room door closed behind him.

**###**

The door chime rung.

“Come in.” Sam had long discarded her BDU shirt, but the captain was still in her uniform despite the late hour. She seemed hesitant. As if she was not quite used to their upside-down situation, with her at the helm of a starship and Sam as the involuntary guest.

They both said, “I wanted to—” at the same time.

“You first,” Sam said, showing Kathryn inside her VIP quarters.

“I went to Engineering before coming to see you. I wanted to tell you the beta crew is working hard to replicate the components you need to build the gate. You should have a full-scale model to work on tomorrow morning.”

Sam was thankful for the down-to-earth focus on the problem facing her. How to get home. How to get back to where she belonged. Back to the SGC. An SGC without—

Maybe it was the fatigue, the alien environment, the dislocation. Or the familiar face and kind voice, her only link to a previous life back at the SGC. The dam that had threatened to break all day finally shattered, images of the explosion which had claimed Jack and Teal’c lives overwhelming her. Sam dropped on the couch, tears running down her face.

Kathryn rushed to her side. “I am so sorry. I am so very sorry,” she said as Sam’s sorrow swelled.

Sam didn’t know how long she leaned against her friend. When her tears dried up, Kathryn let her go. The woman had red eyes too. She was also grieving for the two men she had known for only a short time.

Janeway stood and went to the replicator. “Two coffees. Black.” She gave her one of the cups. “I am here if you want to talk, Sam.”

“I don’t think I can. I can’t stop seeing that explosion, and then I am flying through it as if the other flyer had never existed. One moment I was talking to them, the next they were both gone.”

Kathryn sat down again. “They were your friends.”

Sam was glad the captain was not trying to screen away the pain or hide behind platitudes. Not telling her that the two men had died doing their duty, fighting for something bigger than them like the soldiers they were. All true, but there was so much more to them.

“Teal’c was like a brother to me,” Sam said. “He was kind and gentle. Carrying the weight of his guilt for the actions he had done while a Jaffa by being ready to die for a planet which wasn't even his home.”

She let the warmth of the cup seep into her fingers, her eyes drawn to the swirls of hot steam. “Most people were afraid of him, never knowing what to make of him. They ignored him at best or were openly hostile, but he never retaliated.”

“He was a good man. I admired his poise and forbearance.”

“We used to train together. Sometimes, he would choose a bashaak for our practice, the Jaffa wooden staff. He was a hard master, always challenging me to do better. I’d have bruises for days.” The tears threatened again, but she swallowed hard.

“He reminded me of a very good and very dear friend of mine, who also doesn’t hesitate in laying bare my weaknesses and faults,” Kathryn said.

Sam played with her cup, the gesture reminding her of strong hands spinning a pen, their owner impatient at another long briefing. Fingers brushing hers when passing a file across the table. Fists pounding at the forcefield standing between them. Refusing to leave her behind, his eyes wide, his voice rising. His arms holding her after killing the drone.

“Jack.” Sam took a few deep breaths, her eyes cast down. “Jack and I…”

Kathryn’s face only showed compassion and understanding. “You loved him.”

Sam could only nod. It hurt to tell a truth she had kept secret for so long. “We never could…We would have found a way to make it work, one day. He had already resigned once. He could have resigned again. Not that I wanted him to. Without him, SG-1 wouldn’t have been the same.”

Her hands tightened around the hot cup. She couldn’t stop blabbering. “I could have asked for a transfer, so he wouldn't be my superior officer, but we never really discussed what we felt for each other. We had decided to keep our feelings locked away, waiting for the right moment, like the good little soldiers we were. It never came.”

“From what I understand, being together while in the same team would have ruined both your careers.”

Sam banged the cup on the table. She didn’t want to hear the voice of reason which had been the only one she had listened to for far too many years. “That's not good enough. I didn't even tell him I loved him. Not really. I always backed off at the last second. I was the one who insisted we never talk about it.”

“He knew how much the Stargate program meant to you and how much it needed you. Every day you are saving Earth from a threat very few people are aware of.”

“So what?” Sam stood abruptly. “I didn’t tell him because I was a coward. Pure and simple. I can deal with the Goa’uld, the replicators, the NID. I can blow up a sun even, but when it comes to saying three small words to him, I am a coward.”

A wince came over Kathryn’s face before she lowered her gaze. “You couldn’t be together as long as you were part of the same command team. Telling him how you felt would have changed nothing.”

“And that’s exactly what I did about us. Nothing. When I told him about Pete, Jack even said that he was happy that I was happy, and I let it drop. Talk about stupidity.”

“And aren’t you? Happy? With Pete?” came the question Sam had asked herself for months now.

She walked to the window, looking at the stars frozen against the darkness outside. “When my brother set me up with Pete, I thought…hell, why not? I was so tired of waiting, and Pete was nothing if not persistent. But he is not _him_. Jack and I…” She turned around. “We understand each other. We are both military, but it goes well beyond that. It’s not always easy, and there are times I would love to strangle him, but we’ve been through too many things together not to know how it affects the other one too. Pete is a nice guy, but with Jack, it’s differ…”

She bit her lips. “With Jack, everything would have been different. But it’s too late now. I’ll never know.” Shoulders dropping, Sam returned to the couch. “So, don’t make the same mistake,” she said with a small smile, her hand gently squeezing Kathryn’s arm.

The woman shifted. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

“Are you telling me there’s nothing between you and Commander Chakotay?” Sam was confused now. Had she invented a relationship that wasn’t?

Kathryn shook her head. “I care very much for the commander, that is true. He is a very valuable member of my crew.”

Sam wondered why the woman flinched at those words. “The man defied your express orders to leave you behind. You said so yourself. If that’s not—”

“Sam.” A sad smile showed on the older woman’s face, her voice gentle but firm. “My feelings for the commander are just that. Feelings. I’ve never discussed them with him and I don’t intend to do so. We are good friends, close friends even, but that’s how it must stay.”

Was the woman blind? Couldn’t she see the damage that it had cost her and Jack not to say anything, not to act on their feelings before it was too late? “So, for the next seventy years you are going to pretend there’s nothing between the two of you?”

Tight lips and a frown replaced Kathryn’s smile. “There _is_ nothing between the two of us, Sam. I can’t afford to have anything interfere with the promise I made to my crew to get them home. I am the captain, Sam. The position comes with responsibilities attached to it, not a relationship.”

“When you were on Earth, you didn’t seem to like being alone very much.”

Kathryn stood and walked to the recycler. “I was in a different universe. It was…homesickness,” she said, her back turned away, shoulders hunched.

Jack would have thrown a few chosen words at the woman by now, but Sam held her tongue. “I don’t think—”

“It’s getting late, and we both need a good night’s rest,” Kathryn said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Sam watched dumbfounded as the door closed behind the captain. Until today, she would never have believed that she would see Kathryn Janeway run away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This long chapter is dedicated to all of you, who have been (im)patiently waiting for the soon-to-come conclusion to this nail-biting, technologically-challenged, and extremely-logically-plotted crossover. Another chapter and it will all be finished, folks, but it was fun while it lasted.


	14. Two Universes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Previously:**   
>  _Carter worked on the construction of the small gate that should get her back home, while Janeway prepared Voyager for the dangerous task of cutting off the link to Sam’s universe. During a late evening conversation between the two women, Sam confessed to her love for Jack, while Kathryn took refuge behind the captain and refused Sam’s advice to acknowledge her own feelings for Chakotay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, my eternal thanks to my betas : devovere and ariella884 for keeping me to the task. This has been my longest fic so far, and I am sure there're plenty of mistakes still lurking in there. There is so much more that goes with being a beta, and you know what you have done for me.

* * *

_**Two universes** _

__

 

The hot air from the corridor followed at Janeway's heels when she entered the cargo bay. The ship was now in grey mode in preparation for a total shutdown. She had spent her first two days back on board _Voyager_ fighting one system after another as the energy drain accelerated. Today promised much of the same.

She stopped in awe of the metal circle taking pride of place in the middle of the vast room. With a diameter of just over two metres, it was much less imposing than the ones she had gone through at the SGC and the Alpha site, but to build something that sophisticated and alien in less than three days was a tribute to the engineering team and Sam’s skills.

B’Elanna was staring at the offending artefact as if it had been built by a first-year cadet.

“What’s wrong?” Janeway asked.

“The gate transformers. They need more power to get Sam back to Earth than I’d anticipated,” B’Elanna said, crossing her arms. “Would be easier if we could gate her back to the planet below.”

Sam’s head appeared from behind the base of the gate, a smear of coolant on her cheek. She looked worn-out. “The gates have the same address. Won’t work.”

“B’Elanna, re-route the aft shield power to the gate through the ventral array, and see if you can stabilise the input vectors,” Janeway said.

“It’s a risky move,” B’Elanna said. “I need more time to run additional simulations.”

Sam bit her lower lips. “The longer you wait to send me back, the stronger the drain on your ship’s energy before you can cut the universe link.”

Janeway put her hand to her nape, trying to undo the knots that had embedded themselves in the back of her neck. Despite the Doctor telling her she had suffered no permanent sequel from her sojourn in another universe, her body did not seem to believe she was back where she belonged. “There’s something else,” she said. “It looks like the sun of this system has entered a sunspot minimum. Once we detect a strong enough flare, we'll have to send the iris deactivation code and get you through the gate as quickly as possible. We might not get another chance for days.”

“I can program the site-to-site transporter to the major’s combadge, so she gets to the gate in time,” Torres said. “I’ll need to get the transporter back online though.”

“Do it, but compensate for the energy drain. I don’t want Sam to be stranded somewhere on the ship because the transporter’s not working at a hundred percent. Keep the turbolifts functional too, as reserve.”

“Understood, Captain.”

Janeway walked back to the bridge, through darkened corridors and past flickering wall screens. The situation she was throwing Sam into wasn’t much different from what she had gone through on the F-302: no backup, too many variables which could go wrong, not enough understanding of the fundamental science underpinning their back-and-forth travels across universes’ boundaries. But this time she was responsible for Sam’s life. O’Neill and Teal’c had already died because of her ill-fated journey back. She didn’t want to add Sam’s name to theirs.

Sam had to go back home alive.

**###**

~ _Seven to Captain Janeway_.~

“Janeway here.”

~ _I have detected a solar flare in progress. Intensity X5.9. Time to intercept the planet seven minutes. However, it will miss our current position. I am forwarding the coordinates to the helm_.~

At last. Four days since she’d been back on _Voyager_ , ten hours after the gate was operational, and there had only been false alerts so far. “Acknowledged. Janeway out. Tom, enter the course change and engage. Impulse engines only.”

“Aye, Captain. Impulse only. We should be at the coordinates in two minutes.”

“Harry, be ready to raise shields at twenty percent at my command. I don’t want the ship to be caught in the magnetic oscillations that are bound to follow the solar flare.”

“Twenty percent.”

“B’Elanna?”

~ _Yes, Captain?~_

“Seven has identified a solar flare coming our way. Please get Major Carter to the cargo bay.”

~ _No need, we are both here, and powering up the gate_.~

“Chakotay, you’ve got the bridge. I’ll be in Cargo Bay two.”

Janeway took a few deep breaths as she entered the turbolift. She was glad she was on _Voyager_ and no longer flying into a solar flare in an antiquated spacecraft, but there was little margin for error. One by one, _Voyager_ ’s main systems had gone into grey mode, and the ship was vulnerable to the massive particle wave coming their way. They would have to be quick.

**###**

The event horizon roared inside the cargo bay. Everybody present, except for Sam and Kathryn, pulled back as the vortex surged into the vast space.

“Power levels are fluctuating,” said B’Elanna from a nearby console. “The gate won’t last long. Sending the iris deactivation code now.”

“You’ve got to go, ” Kathryn said.

Sam’s face crumpled. “I…”

Kathryn pulled her in a tight embrace, keeping her own grief and emotion under control. “Take care of yourself. Make it home.”

“You too, Kathryn, you too. And remember, you won’t get another chance. Tell him.” Sam took a step back, her eyes full of tears, then plunged into the liquid wall.

The shimmering barrier held for a heartbeat before vanishing. Sparks raced up and down the cables snaking around the gate.

“Cutting power,” B’Elanna shouted over the hiss of arcing electricity. Janeway grabbed an extinguisher from the wall and doused the device with foam.

“Well, Prime Directive or not, we won’t be using that gate soon, Captain. It’s fried,” B’Elanna said with disgust while the cargo bay ventilation system cleared the smoke.

The scorched arch reminded Kathryn of the damaged combadge she’d left on her bedside table, the only tangible evidence left of her own ordeal. She straightened her shoulders before tapping her combadge. “Janeway to Chakotay. The gate has worked, and the major is hopefully back on Earth. Move us to the Lagrange point on the night side of the planet and let me know as soon as the ship’s position is stabilised. I’ll be in Engineering.”

~ _Acknowledged, Captain_.~

Kathryn glanced back as she left the cargo bay. She would never know if Sam had returned to her own world, and that, more than anything, saddened her. The multiverse was truly indifferent to the fate of humans caught in between space and time. Only by their own will could people bring sense to their own universe and build a meaningful future out of the past. That was the lesson she needed to take to heart. That and the words uttered by a woman who had lost so much and still cared for those around her.

The door closed behind Kathryn, sealing her resolve.

**###**

“Jack?”

Heart bumping hard in her chest, Sam froze mid-way down the ramp as she caught sight of the two men standing near the SGC doorway, looking as surprised as she was.

“Excuse me?” O’Neill said, the fingers of his right hand making a small gesture of ‘please explain’.

“You’re alive!” The gate shut itself down behind her, and she sat down unceremoniously, so relieved that she laughed. “You’re both alive,” she added, wiping her tears.

“Indeed, we are, Major Carter,” Teal’c said, an eyebrow delicately raised in mild surprise.

O’Neill made a show of patting his own body down. “Totally agree. Looks to me like we’re very much not dead.” He lifted his head, frowning. “We were getting ready to pay you a visit at the Alpha site. See how you were going with that power unit. Jacob said it was almost finished in his last communication this morning.”

“The power unit?” Sam was glad she was already sitting down. She was back in her past. Before two universes would become entangled. How could she have missed her own timeline by what? Four weeks, give or take? Had B’Elanna routed too much power to the _Voyager_ gate? The questions fought for her attention, but, for once, she didn’t care less about what had happened. Jack was alive. Jack was—

“What’s going on, Major?” Hammond stopped at the base of the ramp. “Is there something wrong with the prototype gun?”

Carter hauled herself upright. “No time to explain, sir. The Alpha site has been compromised. Anubis will be attacking very soon. Maybe as soon as tomorrow, if I’ve got the date right.”

The General looked at her with wide eyes. “How did you come by this information, Major?”

“It’s a long story, but believe me, the Goa’uld have discovered the location of the Alpha site. They’ll attack by air and send drones to retake the power unit. The entire site will be destroyed.”

“There’s more than two hundred people working there, Major. Evacuating it without good reasons—”

She was getting desperate. “The Goa’uld will come without warning. It will be a carnage, sir. I’ve seen it.”

Before Hammond could interrupt, O’Neill stepped in. “General, I say we take Carter’s warning seriously. There’s an awful lot of people who know about the site. Can’t say I’m surprised knowledge of its location has fallen into Anubis’ slimy hands.”

Hammond watched his 2IC, then nodded, his mind made up. “All right. I’ll send a message to Colonel Riley to prepare to evacuate all personnel to the Beta site, starting with the scientists. And Major?”

“Sir?”

“Your debriefing starts in twenty minutes, and it’d better be good. In the meantime, get checked by Dr Fraiser,” Hammond said before leaving the embarkation room.

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir,” Carter said, letting out a deep breath.

O’Neill accompanied her as she got off the ramp. “So, back from the future again?”

“How did you guess?”

“Your hair’s longer, and you’ve got some new jewellery.” O’Neill pointed to _Voyager_ ’s combadge still attached to her uniform vest.

“I didn’t know you noticed that sort of things,” she said, dipping her head. She added a ‘sir’ at his amused look.

“I notice a lot of things about you, Carter.” His smile widened, and she felt a light blush come to her cheeks.

O’Neill kept his voice low as they walked down the empty corridor towards the elevator. “This thing about calling me Jack, and me being alive...Was it that bad?”

She only saw concern in his eyes. Not for him, but for her. For what she had gone through if she’d thought him dead. She gave him a small smile, grateful for his presence by her side. “It was. But everything will be fine now.”

“Good, good,” He slid his access card at the elevator door. “You know me. I like when everything’s just fine.” They entered the lift, and O’Neill punched the infirmary floor number.

Sam leaned against the wall, silently sending her thanks to Kathryn Janeway for giving Jack and her another chance. She wasn’t going to throw that opportunity away. She had had enough of alternate universes where her alternate self had taken that path, but never her. Never here.

Never now.

“Carter?” Jack glanced back at her. “I can almost hear those brain cells of yours grinding away.”

“I don’t want to see you die ever again.” She stepped closer, her gaze firmly fixed on him.

Jack frowned, puzzled. “Care to tell me what’s on your mind?”

She licked her lips, and his eyes widened. “Oh, that,” he said before she stopped the lift.

**###**

_~Attention all hands, this is the captain. We’ll enter black mode in five minutes. All systems, including communications and the environmental controls, will be offline for as long as possible to ensure our link with Major Carter’s universe is thoroughly severed. Ensure you carry your personal breathing mask and a torch at all times_. _Janeway out.~_

The ship remained precisely poised at the point where the planet and the sun’s gravitational forces cancelled each other, cancelling the need for the engines to run.

Janeway took her glove off to check her wrist chronometer. It had only been five minutes since _Voyager_ ’s engines had cut off, and she already felt uncomfortable without the familiar hum in the background. She put her glove back on and tightened the hood around her face. Keeping the ship in the planet’s shadow helped reduced the radiation load and the need for shields, but without the environmental controls, the temperature inside the ship had plummeted.

“Now, B’Elanna.”

“Shields down. Ventilation system and artificial gravity field offline.”

Kathryn felt her body lift, but her magnetic boots kept her from floating away. White ghosts wearing the sub-zero gear especially replicated for the occasion moved slowly around, wrist torches flashing against the frosted walls. All that remained was the emergency red lighting.

“Captain?”

“Do it.”

The ship went dark.

**###**

Chakotay entered Janeway’s quarters, his attention focused on the PADD he was holding.

“ _Voyager_ is back to full operation, Captain. B’Elanna has re-checked the systems that were leaking energy before the black-out, and everything is running smoothly: transporters, environmental controls, long range sensors, warp engines, shields, weapons, navigation. Our universe is back to normal, and we can go back on course to the Alpha quadrant when you give the order.”

Receiving no answer, he looked around the dim room. His smile faded as Janeway’s silhouette emerged from the shadows framing the large window bay, a PADD in her hand. The strong feeling of déjà vu caused his shoulders to slump.

“It’s good news. I’ll have to congratulate B’Elanna and her team. They’ve done a great job.” Her voice sounded flat.

“Is there something wrong?” He hoped she hadn’t heard the slight break in his own voice. She deserved all his support. Like everybody else on the ship, he was exhausted both mentally and physically. The weeks spent looking for her, thinking her lost for good while battling the ship’s diminishing energy resources has been long and arduous. But what about Kathryn? Her latest experiences were not something he could ignore or discard. She was back, and all that counted for him was to be at her side again. Here and now.

“It’s Sam. Her departure was so rushed. For all we know, she could be fighting a whole army of Goa'uld invading Earth right now, or be stranded forever in between our universes. I can’t help feeling I’ve condemned her to a fate worse than death.”

Chakotay winced. Kathryn’s words of condemnation were much too similar to what she had been brooding over and over before she’d disappeared from _Voyager_. He had no intention in letting her fall again into that dark maelstrom of self-blame.

“Sam had no choice than to go, and she’ll fight her way out if need be.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because Sam is like you. She won’t give up. She doesn’t know how. She will make it, Kathryn.”

“I do hope so, Chakotay, because…” She glanced at the PADD. “I searched the ship’s historical database to see if there had been a Samantha Carter and a Jack O’Neill in our universe.”

She put the PADD on the table before standing near the transparent aluminium window, her gaze looking into the far distance.

“What did you find?” Chakotay exchanged his PADD for the captain's. He was curious too. He had been impressed by Sam’s quiet courage, and wondered about that Jack O’Neill who had made such an impact on the captain.

“A lot of information was lost during World War III, and it didn’t take me long to trawl through the few primary sources that survived.” Kathryn moved to the replicator. “Coffee, black.”

She returned to the window, cradling her cup close to her chest. “Colonel Jack O’Neill had a distinguished service in the US Air Force according to the records. From what I could gather, he disappeared during an air reconnaissance mission in 2003. I couldn’t find anything more on him. I can only assume that he was killed in action.”

Her right thumb was rubbing the side of the metal cup, her smile filled with sadness. “If he was the same person as the Jack I knew, he died doing what he loved best. He wouldn’t have liked spending his last years in the military behind a desk, with an empty house to go back to in the evenings.”

Chakotay swiped the PADD to access the report. A tall and lanky man in uniform looked straight at him. He was standing in front of an elegant fighter plane, his sunglasses and helmet hiding much of his face except for an easy and confident grin.

“And Sam?” he asked.

“Doctor Samantha Carter enrolled in the astronaut training program at NASA in 1998. She accepted a post at Berkeley when the shuttle program, an early space travel project, was cancelled a decade or so later. While there, she made notable advancements in astrophysics research, but with the advent of the war, I lost track of her. I know she was married—”

Chakotay came closer as Kathryn’s voice wavered.

“It doesn’t matter whom she married. She never went further than Earth’s orbit. She never explored the galaxy, never set foot on another planet, never met a sentient species from outer space. She probably died years before Cochrane’s inaugural warp flight and Earth’s first contact with another space-capable species.”

Sam’s photo showed a woman with long grey hair held in a pony tail, facing a class of some thirty students, her hands in the pockets of a white lab coat. Equations adorned the screen behind her.

“She could have taught one of Cochrane’s teachers,” Chakotay said, putting the PADD down.

“We’ll never know. I shouldn’t have pried into their past here. Sam and Jack…”

Chakotay let out a sigh. He’d been blind to the harsh reality of Sam’s loss. “They were together in her universe.”

“Not really. They couldn’t.”

“Don’t tell me,” Chakotay said with a chuckle. “Fraternisation protocols are the one constant that transcends universes.”

Kathryn nodded. She placed the cup on the table and turned back to face the window. “In Sam’s universe, Jack is dead. Here, they don’t even meet. How many worlds exist out there where they never get together, Chakotay?”

Cringing at his gaffe, he hurried at her side. To his surprise, she leaned against him without hesitation, and his arms found their way around her midriff. He fully expected her to pull away, but the back of her head nestled against his neck.

“Tell me what you saw when you were on Earth,” he whispered, knowing she wasn’t really asking for an answer to her question. “Was it home?”

She didn’t answer immediately. “It certainly smelt like it. Looked like it. The sharp odour of pine trees after rain. The vast clear sky over the mountains. The familiar stars in the night sky. Watching people walking their dogs in the park across Sam’s place.”

It was his turn to remain silent, waiting for her to let him in. Rare were those occasions, and he wasn’t going to let her down this time.

Kathryn continued, as if secure in the knowledge that he was listening. “All those years since we’ve been in the Delta quadrant, I’ve dreamed of being home. And for almost a month I was there on Earth, but it wasn’t home. Not really.”

Kathryn put her hands over his. “Earth has become an idea, something I aspire to reach one day, but will soon remember only from memories of memories by the time we get back, like whispers carried by the wind.”

“So where is home now for you?” he asked, taking in the softness of her hair against his cheek. He was happy to be there for her while letting his body meld into hers from thighs to chest.

“Here. This is where I belong, Chakotay. With you. And I want _us_ to make a home together on _Voyager_ before this universe ends. Protocols be damned.”

He dared not breathe lest he heard her wrong. “Are you sure? Aren’t you...?”

“Afraid?” A rumble rose in her chest, and he tightened his grip on her. “You know me too well.”

He waited. Their fate was in her hands, as it had always been.

“I am terrified, but not for breaking some Starfleet rules which hardly apply to a seven-decade-long journey. I am terrified of losing you, and I can't continue being alone.”

She turned in his arms to face him, one hand moving to cup his cheek. “Sam showed me what it means to lose the one you love. To see them go to their death without having said anything. To let opportunities fly away under the guise of duty and responsibilities to others, across a multitude of universes. All those worlds where we wait until it’s too late. Those futures where one or the other gets tired of waiting and starts looking for somebody else. I don’t want that, Chakotay. I want us to share our future. Somehow we'll make this work. We have to. And together, we will make it back to Earth.”

Her eyes looked suddenly uncertain when he didn’t react, her fingers sliding off his face. “But if it’s not what you want, I understand,” she said, lips trembling.

In his defence, he was still recovering from the shock of her confession. He smiled and wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “I’ve longed for this for a very long time, Kath–”

She took his face in her hands and kissed him. He didn’t stop to wonder, didn’t hesitate. He just kissed her back. Hard and slow.

As the woman he loved made small work of his jacket, the stars outside watched on.

 

_**~ THE END ~** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end, folks. My greatest thanks for all who have followed, bookmarked and commented on this story. You've made my days, lifted the blanket of doubts off my shoulders and encouraged me to plough on.  
> Hello to those readers who wanted to wait until the story was finished. It was fun to write for those two characters, and I hope you've enjoyed reading about them too.


End file.
